Today's a Low

and with that being said... I am just going to type as much as I can for these last 15 minutes of my lunch break. (For me writing can be a great form of therapy.) Work/teaching has been frustrating for me this week, which is causing me to question my job in general. I feel like I spend so much of my time at school "controlling" the kid and trying to be consistent that I do not teach very often. Then, when I go home at night, I'm not my usual self. Instead of going to the gym or spending time with my friends, I tend to go home and be by myself. I know that "me time" is always important, but I feel like it's been happening too much. My co-worker posed a good point: maybe it's a full-time job in general that is causing this change. Regardless, I don't feel like myself, and I do not like the way I feel.

I have also begun to question whether or not my talents are truly being utilized as a teacher. Don't get me wrong, I have gained so so much respect for teachers, but I do not think my hardworking, perfectionist personality necessarily makes the best teacher. (My friend Tim, who is teaching English in South Korea, eluded to this as well.) I see teachers as having far more patience then I do. Great teachers never appear to be bothered by much of anything. Maybe it's best not to spend much time worrying about lesson plans. Right now I feel like I am losing my love for working with children, which I do NOT want to happen. As I wrote cover letters and sent out resumes this summer, I realized that every past job of mine has dealt with children. I still love babysitting (for the most part).

I think this is just a bad day, and I'm sure the weather doesn't help either, but I am looking forward to a new day!