Mind Over Matter

Oh my gosh... I still can't get over this, which probably explains why I am blogging instead of studying, but after studying from 1ish-6 today, I decided that it was the perfect weather for a run. 

I figured I would probably run for an hour or so, but then I saw the Sears Tower in the distance and decided I wanted to run there. I had no set path- just followed the tallest building in the city and went whichever way the streetlights allowed. It was so strange how easy the run felt, even at the end: I had my goal in mind and was not going to change my mind (powerful stuff). I would say that I have run an hour (at most) recently, but today I ran for 2 hours. When I look at google maps, it says that the shortest walking path is 10mi round trip, so I know I ran more than that. 

What an amazing sense of accomplishment. Let's see how I feel tomorrow! 

Intuition

After going to bed at 4AM I did pop out of bed fairly easily at 9:30 to get ready and run to yoga, which started at 10. The class ended around 11:15, and I stayed until noonish. If I hadn't had class at 1, I may have stayed longer. Master Joyce began talking about the tension in my body. I ha always attributed it to stress, but she said other culprits exist. In my case, she believes that I am not utilizing all of my energy like I should. She says that I have a lot of leadership energy, and therefore need to be in a leadership role. I told her about some of the comments people made at camp (both this weekend and in February). She told me that one of the other Masters asked about me at the regional training. Upon seeing me, He mentioned that I have the same energy as Melissa Sabumnim. I don't know Melissa but have been told that she is a dancer and an amazing performance. Hmm... What is it with people saying that I need to be on stage and performing in some way? I don' know where to go with those suggestions in the present moment, but will keep them in mind. 

An Uncommon LIfe

I should probably get into bed soon seeing as I still have to edit a paper, and I want to get to morning class. However, my vision for tonight included writing about camp. If I wait too long to write, it won't contain as much detail or emotion.

I would not have been at May YEHA camp if Puran Nim had not called me last Tuesday night (one week ago exactly) and told me that he found me a good flight deal. (He even offered to buy me my ticket, and I could pay him back.) Not letting any thoughts get in my way, I booked my flight with him on the phone. I was excited at the time, but as the week progressed, and I reminded myself that this would be my fourth weekend in a row out of Chicago, I wasn't feeling 100%. Even when I got there I still questioned my decision a little. (I was hoping to see more familiar faces from last camp!) As training began all of those thoughts disappeared. The theme song for camp, Life Uncommon by Jewel, was a perfect choice for me as was the theme of loving yourself. (This is something I struggle with constantly.) Saturday's morning training consisted of stations. My group, the Soul Warriors, began at the hop shim ("one mind") station. Master Danielle began by asking why we have not yet achieved world peace. The answer is... We do not all have the same mindset or intentions. Therefore, there are too many goals that are trying to be reached. At the station each person received a sword to be held in one hand. On the count of three each person steps to the left, dropping their sword and catching the one on the left with the same hand. It sounds easy, but it took our group 20 mins to accomplish our vision of 5 in a row. Everyone has different ideas, and not every one's mind focuses on the task at hand. After a few short minutes I trusted the people to my left and right and did not worry about swords dropping. We got in a rhythm. I don't remember the comments that I made, but afterwords Danielle told me that I was a good leader. Positive feedback always makes me feel good. Next, I did some DahnMuDo with a mountainous backdrop, followed by two different meditations. In the first one, Master Aaron led us out of our bodies and into the body of an eagle and a mountain lion. When I approached a "grizzly bear with a message," as the mountain lion, the bear told me to live in peace. It may sound crazy to some of you who don't meditate, but it came without any thoughts.

In the afternoon we did a training with Master Blue Ocean in which we danced for about three hours straight. Then, we focused on loving ourselves. I was surprised at how focused I was dancing for that long: my mind did not wander; I just danced. The night training was more difficult for me a we were supposed to connect with Mother Earth and all that she does for us. I don't disagree at all but did not feel as connected as I wish I would have. Regardless... I kept choosing to push myself. During the morning DahnMuDo training the trainer said, "Every moment is a new choice. Choose." I couldn't agree more. Each of us has the power to make our own decisions. Another quote I heard from camp goes something like this, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Live in the present."

Sunday's first training consisted of DahnMuDo from the creator himself. He was so funny. He encouraged us to be sleek and smooth, not worrying about perfection (not my usual approach). We stretched a lot, which felt good. When we had to hold a position with our neck and feet just slightly above the ground, I wanted to drop my neck so bad, but he reminded us all that The pain and difficulty is usually forgotten later. I can relate to that: I tend to remember the things I do not do/accomplish.

The afternoon consisted of informational speeches and videos about Dahn Yoga, YEHA, opportunities, upcoming events, etc. At first I thought it would be boring, but I left that afternoon feeling so inspired. I will probably be speaking to a lot of you personally, but did you know:

Every day, 50,000 die due to poverty–related causes. That amounts to 18 million people per year.
Every day, more than 3,000 children die of hunger and easily preventable diseases.
Every day, some 1.2 billion people do not have access to safe water sources.
Every day, more than 1.3 billion people live on less than $1.
Every day, our planet is warming at a rate faster than at any time in the last 10,000 years.
Every human being on this Earth is affected by these problems.

For these reasons, Dahn Yoga began the "One Dollar Enlightenment Project," which asks people to donate $1/month. The $1 you donate will be used to support Education, Health and Environmental projects around the world congruent with the Millennium Development Goals mandated by the United Nations. One of the first targeted projects will be supporting the United Nations' effort to combat the global AIDS pandemic, especially the prevention of mother-to-child transmission. Primary prevention, testing, counseling, and better integration of care, treatment and support are key to combating MTCT. Ilchi Lee, the founder of Dahn Yoga, set a vision of 100,000,000 Earth Citizens. The Chicago region has a goal of 1,000 by Labor Day. Please help me with this cause, and I will add you to our count. (http://www.ibrea.org/Earth_Citizen/One_Dollar_Project/)

For some other awesome videos (You know you like to procrastinate.) check out what's happening 40 years to the day of Woodstock (http://www.brainartfestival.com/). I tentatively bought a ticket already.

My current vision includes being more dedicated to my yoga practice, finishing school, becoming a Master and/or Brain Management Consultant and working towards creating an entire health center with both preventative and curative health care options: acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, nutrition, psychology, general MD/DO, etc. 

Our last night included dancing, skits, a closed eye walk and a bonfire. The skits were awesome this camp. We had some really stiff competition, but Chicago ended up taking first place. We were all going CrAzY!! Then, we were all supposed to trust the person ahead of us as we were lead to a huge bonfire. There we had a beautiful meditation training under the stars and looked into the eyes of our fellow YEHA members to see that each of us is the same person. We all feel the same emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, etc., regardless of sex, race, religion, ethnicity, age and so on. There were hugs all around, and it was a great last night.

I skipped breakfast and slept in a little on Monday. Then we gathered at the Ilchi Lee Museum for a hike up one of the mountains. There we did another amazing meditation surrounded by mountains. We were all supposed to come up with a standard for ourselves to shout to the mountains. A lot of people yelled love. While I think love is important, that's not the message I was receiving. After awhile, I got it... UNCOMMON. Just like the theme song, I want to/need to lead a life uncommon. I've been struggling with this for a little while now: knowing the person that I once was and also recognizing the changes. Sometimes I feel like I am being pulled in two different directions. So even though most people don't say I Love You often, I am going to say it more often. Everyone needs to be loved and to hear that they are loved. When other people are going out at night, I might be home working towards my vision. My decisions are my decisions. My thoughts are my thoughts. I cannot care what others think of them. 

Everyone had the opportunity to share their experiences, and that was so incredibly touching. I cried a lot. Before leaving I received a couple of comments from others that stuck with me. 1. "I am so powerful." 2. "I have good energy and am good at gathering people together." Through my trainings I have been able to learn a lot about myself. For example, I don't like too much consistency/redundancy. I have a harder time telling men that I love them. (I think I have always thought of the phrase as only applying to friends, family and significant others.) I don't always take compliments well. The easy way does not make me feel the best. I know there is more that I have learned, but those are some of the things sticking out right now. I feel like I could go on and on talking about my experience and this great organization, but I think it's time to wrap it up. Please feel free to ask me more questions. 

If you want to learn a little more about YEHA and the organization, check out www.youngearthhuman.com.

No, I Didn't Fall Off the Face of the Earth

I have just become consumed with school. Each weekend begins ambitiously, but then I end up spending more time with my friends and family that I originally anticipate. (That's more important anyway.) I'll recap weekends in a bit, but as of today, I have successfully completed three weeks of my Masters, and so far so good. :) Tomorrow morning I wake up around 5AM to catch a 7:05 flight out of Midway to Phoenix. From Phoenix I will take a shuttle to Sedona for another yoga retreat. I was actually feeling fairly confident about not going until Puran called me Tuesday night and told me that he found a pretty decently priced flight. I know I won't look back once I get there, but I have been so "go,go,go" lately. It would be nice to have a bit of a break weekend. 

So last time I wrote I had just returned from Iowa City. Two weekends again Lauren and I drove up to St. Paul, MN for Shawn & Bri's wedding, and this past weekend I went home for Brian & Jess's wedding. Lauren and I began the 6.5 hr drive to St Paul late morning on Friday the 8th and arrived just in time to check-in to our hotel and get ready for the rehearsal dinner. Lauren and I had not seen each other in awhile, so we had a lot to catch up during the beginning of the long drive. Until that weekend I had only heard about Shawn. I was so grateful to participate in their wedding weekend. I actually cried a lot more than I had anticipated. I cried when Brianna cried (as her Dad walked her down the aisle and then again as she recited her vows). I also got pretty sentimental at her reception. While I still consider Bri a good friend of mine, neither one of us can deny that we drifted apart in college. It'd be kind of hard not to since we lived in the same dorm, had the exact same schedule, studied WAY TOO MUCH together, but still... We used to talk about what our ideal weddings would be like, and now she is married. She and Shawn recited their vows in St. Paul's Cathedral- beautiful- and the reception that followed was well-planned and a lot of fun.

The good thing about not being one of the firsts to get married is I can come away from each wedding/reception having a better idea of what I want. On each of the tables at their reception they had pictures with trivia on the back, which I thought was a really cute idea. Plus, I just love pictures. There was also a short slideshow. Before the reception the DJ met with Shawn and Brianna individually and asked each of them to tell their side of their love story. Then, the DJ fused them together. (I think I may have cried during that too.) I'm not sure whose idea this was, but someone had thought to order pizza for a little bit of late night munching. While the distance took a lot out of me, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. (I'm still awaiting for Costa Rica details! :))

I got home this past Friday just in time for a filling- boo! Then, I spent a little time with my Grandparents before picking up some takeout with my parents and relaxing at home on Friday night. As I mentioned earlier, I brought my laptop home, planning to work on a paper, but I didn't open my computer once. My Mom and I had tentatively set a "study date" for Saturday but ended up grabbing a late lunch instead. (We both slept in, and I worked out too.) With both of our schedules, my Mom and I don't talk on the phone a lot, so there was plenty to talk about. We never have trouble with that.

Saturday night I busted out my new dress and HIGH heels. (I literally practiced walking in them.) During the wedding Jess's niece/ flower girl got mad at the ring bearer for walking too fast, hit him and then ran to the alter crying. Kids are so great! I still can't get over how quickly the reception flew by. When the DJ said, "45 minutes left," I couldn't believe it. I was pretty much on the dance floor (-heels) the entire time. Being at a reception with a lot of people you know really does make a difference. Mr. Allen gave a sweet speech. Homie is half Jewish, so I got to witness and participate in some of the Jewish wedding traditions. (I was really excited about this!!) 

Shoot... It's almost midnight. I want to get to bed! 

What is Healthy?

As most of you reading this blog probably know, for about one year exactly I have eaten a vegan diet. The start of my 6 week detox was pushed back (by the program coordinators) to Monday, yesterday. It was so great to see my family in Iowa, but I felt like all I did this past weekend was eat. My family laughs at how much of a foodie I am:I took pictures and remember pretty much everything we ate this past weekend. I got to Iowa later than I expected, so my sister and I pushed our reservation back to 7:45 and dined at The Red Avocado (http://theredavocado.com) an organic, vegan restaurant in Iowa City. The two of us split a homemade gnocchi special served in a lemon caper sauce with local greens and broccoli. It was okay, in my opinion. I Loved the College Green Sunset: Layered herbed white bean pate, tempeh sausage, tofu ricotta, and caramelized onions wrapped in a flaky filo pastry purse on spinach polenta with horseradish-root vegetable-sweet-corn relish, roasted red pepper sauce & a fine drizzle of sweet balsamic reduction. Of course no meal in our book is complete without dessert, so we share a gluten free chocolate cake and an apple cobbler a la mode. 

Lucky for my tired self, my sister was also tired. We borrowed Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which in my opinion was not even a movie (aka not good). I fell asleep during various parts of the movie, and I would guess we were in bed by 11. With such an early bedtime, I was shocked to wake up at NOON! My sister woke up about 45 mins later and we grabbed brunch at Fairgrounds (http://www.fairgroundscoffeehouse.com/) where we went all out. Everything here can be made vegan. I got a green tea latte; Monica ordered a Caramel Almond Turtle Latte. Then we split a Texas Omelette Waffle (Scrambled tofu, onions, red and green bell peppers and cheese baked into a waffle, smothered in our homemade salsa.) and Creme Caramel Grilled French Toast (Two slices of homemade focaccia dipped in batter and grilled, drizzled with our homemade cream cheese and caramel sauces, and topped with butter and powdered sugar! ). Shortly after brunch our parents arrived. We hung out together, checked into our hotel and made our way to dinner at Vesta (www.vestaiowa.com). Somehow I was hungry again?!

Vesta presents itself a funny little story. I really like trying a lot of different things, so Monica and I got a dinner for two which included a Hummus trio — white bean/truffle, garbanzo/tahini, fava/basil, Strawberry salad - greens, strawberries, avocados, sprouts, croutons, balsamic vinaigrette, Tasso pasta- pesto, angel hair, sun dried tomatoes, yellow squash, Spinach and ricotta raviolis- yellow squash, zucchini, tomatoes, artichokes and Chef Hershey’s warm peanut butter-stuffed chocolate cake and mascarpone ice cream for dessert. My Mom ordered the Bruschetta quartet — asiago/asparagus, beet/goat cheese, tomato/mozzarella, butternut squash/sage and Eggplant parmesan pizza — fried eggplant, fresh mozzarella, olives, artichokes, basil, giardinera.

Everything was delicious, but when we got the tasso pasta, I was wondering what tasted like meat. At first I thought it was eggplant. My mom thought it was mushrooms... I went up to look at a menu again: sun dried tomatoes and yellow squash? I asked the waitress and learned that tasso is spicy ham. Lovely... From now on I will definitely ask if I don't know what a word is. Luckily, I'm not intense like I can imagine some people being; it was just less for me to eat. After dinner the fam went back to watch the Bulls loose- lame! I wasn't really feeling tired, but everyone else seemed to be going to bed, so I did too. We shared a buffet brunch in the morning (w an amazing dessert section), and then I headed back to Chicago.  (I don't now why this is double spaced now?)

Back to the title of this post: Yesterday I started my first classes at Pacific. Besides trying to balance school and still helping out at my old job, I am really excited! In my class today, the professor was talking about yin & yang energy. From that theory comes the different energies that the body needs yin (fruits and vegetables) and yang (meats). (I remember hearing that most people transition from vegetarian to meat eater in their time at Pacific. I talked to the professor a little while after class. He told me that his most unhealthy patients are usually vegetarians and vegans, so he usually recommends a couple of small portions (aka credit card size) each week. 

A couple of hours later I had an acupuncture treatment. If you follow this blog pretty regularly, you will remember that I had to get an ultrasound and some other tests done when I visited my gynecologist a couple of months ago since I don't get my period anymore. Well, before taking any medicine I want to see if acupuncture works. Well... My practitioner today also suggested that I eat a little meat. She also taught me that the Chinese essentially HATE raw food. I guess it's hard on the organs to digest and uses a lot of energy.  

So here I was, gung-ho to eat raw for 6 weeks, which is still vegan, and then I am turning this information over and over again in my head. This leads to my question, "What is Healthy?" My Tai Ji professor that I spoke with wasn't overweight, but I wouldn't describe him as slim and trim either. If I believe in this kind of medicine, do I also need to trust their diet. Or were the animals that lived 4,000 years ago very different from the ones that inhabit this earth today? I am a person who likes to have immediate answers, but I feel like I will need to sit on this stuff for a little while. Instead of doing my homework now, I am thinking and reflecting. I might need to do some trial-and-error, while journaling, to see what makes me feel the best. I know I bought groceries for a couple of days of raw, so I went to use that up. Then, maybe I need to wait on that a little to see if my acupuncture and diet recommendations can make a difference. Alright. I should go. I still have 6:30 meditation. 

A Little Insight

Once my laundry spins out I need a little nap before I get on the road. I woke up about every hour last night. 

6:30 bow training was great. I ran there, which felt good/woke me up a little. We did 103 bows together, meditated for energy (for ourselves, for the center and for everyone else), did brain wave vibration (asking who I am and what I want) and qigong (feeling energy). When we shared at the end I explained that bow training was easier for me than normal, but I thought a lot during the other parts. When I was asking myself what I wanted, my response was energy. I don't have a hard time setting visions/goals, but I do not always stick with them. There is so much that I want to do, and I need more energy and will. When asking myself "Who am I?" I got a couple of different answers: a leader and a great person. 

Taking Francesca with me last night was a great experience for me, and it makes me want to continue sharing with others. Feeling like a great person was so necessary for me, especially if you remember my biggest negative voice: "I am a bad person." I told my fellow classmates(?) that I feel as though today is a new day. I feel happy, committed and energized. When I spoke with Master Joyce after training, she told me that I have "simple, clear, strong leadership energy," but I do not accept myself. Wow, did she hit the nail on the head. I doubt myself a lot, have negative thoughts and am very hard on myself. Master Joyce encouraged me to keep going and fully love/accept myself. I see myself evolving as I continue to practice, so I can't wait to see where I go from here. 

As of right now I'm still feeling dedicated to 6 weeks raw. It's just 6 weeks. If I really want to see what the hype is about, I need to stick to it. Willpower! I learned today that 6:30 bow training will be for 21 days. (Then, I leave for May camp on the 22nd.) Last night Puran mentioned that challenges are some of the best things in life because that's when we most learn about ourselves. Think about that... 

I have such an exciting month!! I start school on Monday, have Bri and Shawn's wedding next weekend and Jess and Brian's the following weekend. These will definitely be challenges to my 6 weeks of raw. I think I will be doing a lot of writing and reflecting.

Feeling sleepy but oh so happy! :)