What's Next?: The World is My Oyster

Sunrise Meditation

2009-09-27T06:51:00.001-07:00

Yea... I did it! I just completed my 21-Day (6:30AM) Meditation Training along Lake Michigan. Every other day was at the center, but this morning was special, and we met outside at Fullerton & Lakeshore.

I don't even know where to begin trying to explain the experience. We started on Labor Day after I had just gotten back in town: Some mornings the 6:10AM alarm didn't bother me at all. Other days I was so annoyed and just wanted to turn it off and go back to sleep. However, even if I was late, my goal was to complete the 21 days. My teacher, Master Joyce, says your brain does not remember the small details (ie being late) but rather the accomplishment of the goal. I think that's important for everyone to acknowledge and remember.

Do I feel different now? Yes and no. It has been difficult, and I know it will continue to be difficult, pursuing a scholastic and spiritual path simultaneously. I am definitely excited to not have such a strict wake time for this spiritual path. (The finish line is what got me out of bed the past few day.) I also know that I am going to need to push myself more in that area. In regards to energy, I felt a lot during the training, and I am also feeling more flexible, especially in my hips.

In general, I feel as though I have begun to learn and reflect on myself a lot, which has been both interesting and difficult. I felt a lot of anger, hostility and resentment during the training, which I acknowledged in daily life too. I think most would agree that, generally speaking, those adjectives do not describe my demeanor. So I guess I buried these feelings inside, trying not to express them. For that reason I continue to feel some pain/blockage in my chest.

I felt/received a number of messages throughout the training, but they weren't always consistent: "Be patient." "Be grateful for time." "Don't rush things." "Take action." "Don't put things off." "Be sincere." "Don't wait for others." "Never sell yourself short." "Do things for myself." "Listen." "Be confident." "Share." "Accept." "Having something does not identify you." "Don't compare." "Don't give up." "Let it go." "Release tension." "Dance!"

Recently another one of the Masters told me that I need to be like water for others. "When they need snow, be snow. When they need rain, be rain." I've meditated on this a bit but still don't feel clear on that.

One day I asked myself what I am afraid of. I quite a bit in the 15 mins of bow training that specific day: making mistakes, letting people down, not living up to expectations (of myself and of others), early death, insecurity, not being in control, regret or resentment, making bad impressions, hurting people, not following through.

As you can probably tell, a lot of my fears have to do with others, which probably should not be so important.

What are some things I want to/can change about myself?

I want to eliminate doubt and reduce judgment, break bad habits, reduce the high expectations/standards I place on myself or rather accept that I will not achieve all of them.

What do I want to do?

I want to focus my energy better and stay connected to what is important: health, happiness & peace, helping others, healing, love, forgiveness, do my best, focus!

Life is definitely a journey.

Back in action

2009-08-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple of weeks+ since my last post, but I have a good excuse. I was studying hard so I'd do well on my final exams. I have not received all of my final grades, but I felt really good about them. I don't know if it's yoga, planning ahead or both, but I was pretty calm for my finals time. There were a few times I got a little anxious, but I generally felt good going into each one. Now, I have exactly one month and one day to do anything I want. :)

What am I going to do you might ask? In general, I am going to cook more, exercise more, spend more time with my friends, read for pleasure, make my apt feel more like home... I have a lot of things that I want to do. Specifically, I will be leaving for New York City on Friday the 14th at about 5AM. I am driving with my fellow YEHA friends to attend the Brain Art Festival at Radio City Music Hall. Check it out (www.brainartfestival.com)! From there I am going to Ellenville, NY for a training/certification. When I am done I will be a certified brain management consultant. More to come on that, but essentially I will help train people to better use the right side of their brain.

My birthday's at the end of the month, and there's Labor Day weekend! It's been great to sit around and watch a little tv, relax. :) I'm off and going tomorrow though.

Concluding My Last Post

2009-07-22T17:18:00.000-07:00

I feel somewhat bad, but having my computer in class makes it so much more manageable. So on Saturday Monica and I slept in a bit. Then, we made plans to get sushi at Toro Sushi in Lincoln Park. One of my classmates had told me that it's amazing sushi, and he was right. We ordered three special rolls. (I wish they had an online menu, so I could be reminded of what all was in them.) I remember that one of them was named "Oh My God," and boy was it good. As we were talking to sushi I realized that we were really close to Molly's Cupcakes, so we went there afterwards. We split 2 of the most popular ones: The Ron Bennington, which was essentially chocolate with peanut butter in the middle and Cookie Monster, which had cookie dough in the middle. We hung out there for a little while, but it was so busy/loud. Monica was a trooper and went with e to Starbucks so I could study. The best part of the night, however, was the concert. With Darius Rucker and Vince Gill, the best part did not start until about 9:15. We were a little cool until then: we sang and danced the entire time, never sitting down again. Rascal Flatts played most of their hits, and I think it was my favorite concert! Monica and I determined that it must have been new, but there was this really "lovey dovey" couple in front of us that me want to be in a relationship. They were pretty cute. It's been awhile.

We were planning to hang out in Wrigley after the concert, but it did not pan out. Instead, we grabbed some Late Night Thai for a late dinner. I was sad when I had to take her to the train Sunday morning. While I love my program, my classmates, my teachers, etc., as I studied that day, I was reminded that this is the "real deal." The intensity of my program is going to increase A LOT come September, and weekends primarily filled with fun will most likely be few and far between. To try and stay social I had dinner with the girls (Emily, Grace, Charlie and Jess) last night. I had not seen them in awhile, and it just so happens that we were all free that night.

Summer Nights

2009-07-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

Let's see how fast I can write about my past week+.

Last Saturday late morning/early afternoon I drove to Dekalb for the Inipi (sweat lodge). (I can't believe I haven't written about this experience yet. I should have written when it was fresh, but it was hard to do much that night. I got home, received a massage from my Mom and crashed.) First and foremost, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong: It got REALLY hot in there. I was dripping sweat, but I never felt like I couldn't endure the heat. After I entered the inipi, the first seven rocks were blessed and placed in the center. As soon as the "door" closed, I was reminded of how much I struggle with not knowing what is going to happen next. I was freaking out a bit as the veterans sang some tribal songs. Before I knew it, the door was opened again, and I felt so grateful for the cool breeze and the sunshine. (I take those for granted a lot.) I can't tell you how grateful I was for the ladle of water I received a few times. There were moments when my lungs were burning, and it was hard to breath, but it was nothing that I could not bare. I made the choice to participate in this ceremony. Some don't have the option of being in such a small space. There was a point when the leader made a comment that we should "let any pains, burdens, fear, etc. go to our ancestors (represented by the rocks). This reminded me that it's important to ask for help. I know that I'm forgetting a lot more. :( Overall I must say that I was really proud of myself for going, and I would do it again. I almost decided not to go, but I did. I was the only one of my classmates there. The other three were/are in their final year.

On Sunday I visited with my Grandma & Papa and then went over to my Grandma Elaine's for a double birthday celebration. I felt like my family was really negative that day, and it was a little hard to be there. Totally switching gears... My teacher hypnotized me in Tai Ji class on Tuesday. Someone attempted to hypnotize me before, but I wasn't into it. I was a little nervous that it was not going to work again. I thought I was going to have to play along with what Tony said, but as soon as he told me that my arm was steel, I realized that I was relaxed enough to be hypnotized- so crazy. I also did the form in front of my classmates better than I'd ever done it before. My arms felt so light. I learned that the certification only takes about a week, and Tony uses it to help relax/calm patients who are worried about their treatment. Hmm... sounds interesting to me!

My Mom and Monica came into town late Thursday afternoon for the Billy Joel/Elton John concert. We went to Twist for some tapas before the show. (I forgot how much I love tapas style meals.) We shared quite a few: Jalapeno Gnocchi w red pepper sauce, Black Bean Cakes w avocado & spicy chipotle mayo, Grilled Vegetable and Goat Cheese on toasted bread, Bacon Wrapped Dates served in a roasted red pepper sauce and Stuffed Mushrooms with sauteed spinach, Monterey Jack cheese and tomato sauce. Towards the end of the meal, we thought we really had to get going, but the concert didn't end up starting until 7:30. The concert was nothing short of legendary. It lasted more than 3 hours, and for the most part, they played the Big songs. I was glad that Elton John started, and the concert finished with Billy Joel- grand finale, Piano Man. I don't think I could ever be as on top of the lyrics as my Mom. (It's pretty impressive.) Sadly, the group of people around us were kind of lame, but our seats were awesome! We were the first row, behind the brick of the 3rd base bullpen. All concert long, people in the field seating were pretending to throw pitches. Monica and I got so much entertainment out of that.

On Friday all 3 of us got acupuncture treatments and then went to the infamous Chicago Diner. Mom, Monica and I all wanted to order the same things, so we shared: HOT “WINGS”:

Seitan "wings" with our vegan ranch & celery sticks. BBQ or Buffalo Style, AVOCADO TOSTADA: High protein quinoa with grilled vegetables, avocado slices & chimichurri , a cilantro based Argentinean salsa and THE RADICAL REUBEN Sliced seitan, onions, peppers, sauerkraut, vegan Thousand Island Dressing & cheeze, on marbled rye. The bad thing for me when it comes to Mom and Monica, is they know my weaknesses, especially when it comes to sweets. Mom wanted to try once cake, and Monica and I wanted to try another, so we decided to try both: a special chocolate cake infused with some kind of pepper and a cinnamon frosting (It was pretty delicious.) Monica and I decided on a chocolate raspberry cake. Mom was anxious about traffic, so she headed out shortly after that. Monica and I hung low, went to see The Hangover and then rented He's Just Not that Into You. Gosh. I am such a hopeless romantic ;).

Blogging break. I'll finish the weekend later.

Whirlwind of a Week

2009-07-10T18:21:00.000-07:00

I can't believe last Saturday was the 4th of July. I also can't believe that week 10, of my 14 week semester, flew by and ended yesterday. While I have a lot of work that I want to/need to get stared on, if I don't blog now, it will take me forever when I do, or a lot of the details will be left out.

After work last Friday night I went over to my friend Marissa's for a barbecue. Marissa and I went to Northwestern together, but she does not keep in touch with many Chicago NUs, so I didn't really know anyone there. However, I befriended a girl named Katie, and we bonded over the fact that neither of us works at Deloitte (where most of the attendees work). I decided to ride my bike to the bbq, and while everyone fussed about me going home "late at night," it really is liberating to speed past all of the cars while riding your bike on a cool, summer evening. :)

Saturday, the 4th of July, was spent with Dominique and Kesha and Kyana's family on the South side of the city. Good thing I started eating meet again recently, because they were serious meat eaters over there: hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken legs, duck and ribs. Even the potato salad had seafood in it. Dominique and I had talked about seeing the fireworks downtown, but friend of the family ended up being in town. Since I didn't know of anyone else going downtown to see the fireworks, and I didn't really feel like fighting the crowd, I decided to prepare or our party and just have a relaxed night to myself. I cleaned and organized my apartment as I baked some caramel corn. Sunday started with Zumba: always a delightful start to the day, followed by final party prep. (I baked a new recipe of 7 layer bars, and they were a hit!) While most of my friends were out of town for the 4th, I was able to have a good handful of friends stop by on Sunday.

All in all, the weekend was okay. After spending last year in Paris, and the year before in San Francisco, you can say that I might have had high expectations. I am lucky to have a good number of friends living in Chicago, but it seems that so many were out of town.

Monday began my crazy busy week. After all of the from the weekend, I decided that I really need to make working out and eating healthy/avoiding sweets a large priority. My goal was to make as many 6AM classes as possible at the gym. Also, when I started school, I told myself that I was going to focus on school, but somehow I have a lot of side babysitting jobs and take any opportunity I can to work. Here was the week:

Mon: Sculpting, week prep, Anatomy 10-12, Student Council Meeting 12-1, Biology 1-5, work 5-9:30, bed

Tues: 6AM Pilates, a little reading and studying, 10-12 Tai Ji, 1-4:30 h/c &hilight, 5-8:15 apt hunting w Emily and Karen- SUCCESS! (We will be living in Lincoln park in a couple of weeks. :) 8:30-11 Yoga training

Wed: slept in a little, 10-11:3yoga, studying 1-4 Anatomy, 4-6 Research, 6-9 Foundations of Chinese Medicine, CRASH- bedtime!

Thurs: 6:30 Spinning, 9-12 FCM, 12:15-3:30 babysitting, 3:45-4 presentation at PCOM, 4-7:15 unexpected work in the clinic for someone who was sick. Getting home by 8 was AMAZING!! Kesha was going to come over to finish my h/c, but I ended up going over there. Amber and I had the chance to walk for a bit first.
I always forget how much a haircut can make you feel different. I added some blonde back in and got some hilights and side bangs. I love it! I don't think it could have come at a better time. I was so tired and didn't feel like going all of the way home, so I crashed at Dominique's. She had to catch a flight this morning, so I headed out with her around 7. I went to the gym for a little and got ready for acupuncture and work. I officially signed my lease and headed over to babysit.

I definitely got a lot done this week, but it wasn't necessarily related to school. I didn't write this above, but I biked to and from my hair apt down on S. Halsted. (I think it was over 6 miles each way.) Tomorrow I am going to something called a sweat lodge with some of my classmates (in Dekalb). It sounds really interesting, and I like to force myself out of my comfort zone. Honestly, I am a little freaked out though. I will be going in this small, very hot lodge, in which I have only a very small amount of space for myself. It is is meant to be a humbling process in which each person pushes theirself and their boundaries to let go, not have judgments. I'll have more details after tomorrow.

Time to study!

For She's a Jolly Good Fellow!

2009-07-03T09:46:00.001-07:00

For anyone who follows my blog, you will be pretty surprised to see that I am posting again toady. (It usually takes me about a week or more between posts.) However, today is my Grandma's 70th Birthday, and I want to say some nice things about her on here 1) because I know she will read it but will not receive anything in the mail today and 2) because everyone should now how amazing she is.

I was born into a pretty good situation: only child of my parents and the only grandchild to my Grandma and Papa. Needless to say... I was pretty spoiled. Yet, even after the birth of my sister, my Grandparents continued to dote on us. Spending Friday nights was a win-win for all parties involved: My parents went out, while my sister and I got to spend some quality time with Grandma and Papa. Those nights often consisted of movies such as Bedknobs and Broomsticks or going to minor league baseball games. Monica and I danced and cheered on the team, but most of all, I think we loved getting all of the "baseball food": hotdogs, Cracker Jack, peanuts in the shell.. We ate everything. Saturday mornings always consisted of a delicious breakfast made by Granny: eggs, baccon, sausage, frenchtoast, whatever we wanted as Monica and I watched our Saturday morning cartoons.

Additionally, we always loved shopping with Granny. She helped helped fill my Limited Too collection back in the day. (Even now, when I go home, she likes to help me out by paying for things here and there.) Grandma and Papa were like an extra set of parents when it came to the football and basketball games I cheered for. They were always there. That applies to any important event or Awards Ceremony. Now that my Mom's in school, I think I talk to my Grandma more than I talk to my own Mom. She has always been, and continues to be, a great source of love, support and confidence. I can't imagine how different my life would be without her in it.

I love you Granny. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, and I promise to be home soon! xoxo

Babysitter of the Week

2009-07-01T19:09:00.000-07:00

I only babysat for an hour tonight because the Dad's flight landed early, but I babysat 7:15-12:15 last night and am babysitting 1-5 and 7-? tomorrow night. I can't complain. They are all pretty easy money, and I'm not missing out on an anything too exciting (as compared to weekend babysitting).

I finished an Anatomy midterm today, which had been looming over my head for awhile. I always have a hard time remembering what I did on the weekends. Oh yeah... Now I've got it. I went into work early and got out early on Friday so that I could go to the KC's Academy Spring Awards Ceremony. It was so nice to see all of the kids and their families, and it was really great to not have to try and keep everything in order but rather to be a spectator. A few of the kids had piano solos, which literally made my heart melt. I grabbed some coffee with Dominique and studied before meeting the newly engaged Cristy and David downtown for dinner at Cheesecake Factory.

I worked out on Saturday and then met up with Dominique to go to the Arabesque Festival downtown. I realized last weekend that I had not been taking advantage of Chicago summers, so I looked up what was going on last weekend. The best parts of the festival were the food: falafel pita and mango smoothie and listening to the music. I wanted to do some shopping but neither of us were to in the mood. Nothing much seemed to he happening that night, so I rented Revolutionary Road and just relaxed. I guess I didn't really know the plot of that movie. The acting was great, but the plot was pretty depressing. I just kind of sat there after the movie ended.

Going to sleep early allowed me to wake up early on my own Sunday morning. For the first time ever I went to Zumba class. For those of you who do not know, this is the course description: While you feel the flavor of Brazilian and Latin dance as you salsa, meringue and cha cha your way to fitness. The moves are easy and you will feel like you have been at a dance party. Oh my gosh... I loved it!! It wasn't even like a workout. It was because I got my heart rate up, but I loved it so much. I was actually sad the class ended. I wish the class was offered more often. After the gym I came home and got ready for the Pride Parade. (It was a Dominique weekend.) The two of us met on Broadway and watched the 3 hour parade!! We discovered a brick wall that some people were sitting on, and we got up there too. For getting there so late, we had a pretty fantastic view. Three hours definitely led to some discomfort though. After being in San Francisco a couple of summers ago, Chicago was pretty tame. Even the crowd seemed so quiet to me. No one was really singing, dancing or cheering. It kind of made me sad.

After the parade I met met up with some of my classmates at Noble Tree Cafe to study Anatomy. It's a great place to study. I can't believe today is July 1st, and this weekend is the 4th of July! :)

Bison Stew

2009-06-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

I meant to post sometime on Sunday, but I didn't, and it's Thursday before I know it. After my post last Friday, I witnessed some of the craziest storms I had seen in a long time. Fortunately I missed the downpour, hard winds, hail, thunder and lightning while at work. Then, when I left around 5, the temperature shot up! (I don't think it's gone down much since.) My classmate/friend Megan had called me earlier to see if I could help her move. She said my help was still needed, so I went over there after work. Who have known that I pretty much helped move pillows?! haha I helped a little with one couch, cut they had pretty much finished everything. I hung out over there for awhile and was pretty tired by the time 10/11 hit.

I finally had an opportunity to sleep in Sat morning, so I took that. I was a little late but made it to yoga at 10. It was so hot out! I had to have a smoothie when I got home. I took a seat outside on the porch and caught up with Karishma before showering and getting ready for the day. I had plans to hang out with Lindsay! We caught up for awhile, and then the two of us met Seth, and his friend Tim, at Cubby Bear. (For those who don't know, Seth, Lindsay and I traveled together in Europe.) When we got to the bar it was in the 11th inning. I was very happy to be able to sing Go Cubs Go in Wrigleyville! As soon as the song ended, the DJ, and dancing, began. Seth and I were known to bust a move in Europe, and Cubby Bear was so different. While I don't particularly like the bar scene, I realized how much I had missed going out dancing. The problem is... Not everyone goes out with the intention of dancing. Sadly I did not get to dance too long because I had to babysit that night. :( I got home around 11 and crashed again!

I met a couple of my classmates at a cafe to study Sunday afternoon. Afterwards I realized that I was pretty prepared for my midterms and should have a little fun. I called Rachel, who I hadn't seen in probably a month, and the two of us went for a walk along the Lakeshore path. I had been on the go most of the day, so by the time I made it home, I was hungry! I had been a good patient and took my herbs Sat and Sun. Now it was time to try the bison recommendation. I didn't think I could do a straight up bison steak, so thanks to the internet, I found a recipe that I thought would work for me: Sweet potato bison stew. I feel like I now know why 1. perhaps why I decided not to eat meat and 2. why I haven't been cooking much lately. My 1lb. organic bison steak cost me a little less than $20. And the stew took over 2 hours to cook. (Don't forgot all of the prep time.) Besides some of the vegetables being a little crunchy, it had good flavor, and it was not too difficult for me to eat the meat. It's the way I grew up.

While I was nervous, I aced my Anatomy Practical on Monday. I literally thought my hands were shaking, but I guess no one else could tell. Not a 100 without extra credit, but luckily we have a lot of opportunity for extra credit. My Tai Ji midterm on Tuesday was practically perfect-besides my butt sticking out. haha After my Clinical Counseling class that night, I was reminded of how much I love Turbokick at the gym. Even though it was so so hot in there, it was so great to make it to class! It had been awhile. Nothing too noteworthy yesterday or today. My energy has been pretty low this week, and for that reason, I am heading to bed soon. Tomorrow afternoon is the KC's Academy Awards Ceremony, and I am excited to see the kids. Then, I get to see Cristy!

Yang Sheng

2009-06-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

Wow... I just got done with a really intense (acupuncture) treatment. I had been seeing the same intern for a month or so but decided to switch it up today with one of the ones that is known as "the best" around here at PCOM (Barry) I can actually still feel the points where he needed. My treatment was so different than any of the treatments I received in the past, and I feel like he taught me as much as he could (seeing as I am just now learning the basics). Getting my weekly treatments always reminds me of why I am studying so much, why I may stay in on a Friday night, etc. It will all pay off in the end, and I can't wait to understand it all and share my knowledge with others.

I titled this blog entry "yang sheng" which is the nourishing life principle. Essentially it means understanding and knowing the constitution of your body and living by its constitution or makeup. (It is a way of preventative medicine.) For example, some people have a hard time digesting raw foods, so interns instruct them to cook their foods, eating them warm. Some people need more sleep then others and so on. That being said... Today was not the only day I've been told to eat meat. The issue that I'm working on now is blood stagnation, which goes hand-in-hand with qi stagnation. (My energy has also been really low lately.) Barry even pointed out spots in which the stasis presents itself in my body. Even though I have been eating a lot of tofu, beans, leafy greens, cherries and so on... It seems that I do not have enough iron in my body. While I made the decision not to eat meat for a reason, I am beginning to think my body needs a little. This medicine is so interesting, and I wish everyone would at least give it a try. I bet you will lean a lot about yourself as well as your body's needs.

All in all, life is good. I can feel the intensity of school picking up, which brings me back to my "go, go, go" schedule, but I am happy. I find that I am taking better care of myself and my needs. Last Sunday was the perfect mix of work and play for me: yoga, studying over brunch, studying with my classmates, a Wrigley rooftop date with Carryn and Kay, gym, studying/dinner, a walk with Amber (who moved less than a mile away) and a little studying before bed. My week was a little less balanced: classes, midterms, work and studying. I can't believe it's already Friday. Besides babysitting on Saturday... No set plans for the weekend. Let's see what happens with the weather.

Weekly Recap and What I have Learned

2009-06-12T22:59:00.000-07:00

Last weekend seems like it was a long time ago. What did I do?

As of July I started working another shift in the clinic (Friday afternoons). While it's nice to have another opportunity to make some money, between last Friday and yesterday, Fridays seem to be the best days for weather. Oh well. It is what it is. Last Friday I got acupuncture at 11, worked 12:15-4:45ish, helped out at KC's for a little over an hour and then went to yoga. I felt loved to get out of class with a couple of friends wanting to hang out, but I felt like I needed the night to get some work (and odds and ends) done. While some call it lame, I have been told to develop my study habits now. I didn't get that much done in regards to studying, but there was laundry, e-mails, etc. Saturday consisted of CPR/First Aid certification (I am going to need that for being an observer in the clinic come September!) followed by babysitting at 3. It was a long night of babysitting, and I even stayed overnight to babysit a couple of hours in the morning (5:30-8:30AM). Dominique and I met for brunch at Nookies Tree Restaurant in Lakeview. We hadn't had Karissa/Dominique time in awhile, so that was really nice. The food was delicious too! After our brunch date I sat myself up in Caribou and worked on a couple of papers.

10-9:30 in PCOM always makes for LONG Mondays. Tuesday night I got to see Cristy, David and Parker. I am going to miss them so much!! I wasn't hungry when they ordered food, but as soon as I left, I got really hungry. I decided that it was necessary to pick up food from Late Night Thai before starting my paper. On my way over I happened to get in touch with Dave. I hadn't seen him in over a month, but he told me he'd meet me at the Thai restaurant. We have such an interesting friendship... Nothing much to say about Wednesday. By the time class ended at 4 on Friday, I was so ready to not think for the evening. Emily came into town, and the two of us grabbed dinner at House of Sushi and Noodles. Then, we met Grace Charlie and Jess for dessert at Icream. I would describe Icream as a crazier version of Coldstone. I'm not supposed to be eating anything cold or raw (aka ice cream), so I was happy to see that they had "hot pudding" as an option, in addition to the soy option. It was soo overwhelming there! You walk up, have the option of hot pudding, ice cream, frozen yogurt or sorbet. Then you can pick the flavor of the last selection. Step 3 involves mix-ins, and step 4 concludes with your color?! I told the cashier to just make me something. I forgot the name of mine, but I think it had white chocolate and cream soda flavored hot, soy pudding with nutella mixed in (natural brown color). I tried a couple of bites and felt like it needed crunch, so I added graham cracker bits. I would say that it was decent-good, a fun experience, but I don't think I would fork out the $5+ often.

Yesterday consisted of yoga, financial work (at the clinic) and studying- woohoo! I knew that today would be a fun day, so I put in some work last night. My family came in around 10 for the Cubs vs. Twins game. I had not gotten in touch with my Mom in over a week, so it was nice to be able to catch-up with her (and of course see Monica and my Dad). With the Fehler family luck, we had some issues getting our tickets. Luckily, there was a rain delay, but the first part of the game was cold and drizzling. As well, the game was incredibly boring: The Cubs lost 2-0. :( We filled our stomachs and enjoyed one another's company a little longer at Mystic Celt. One of the best parts of my parents coming in was them bringing my sister's bike that she doesn't use. I had been wanting/planning to get a bike for a long time but would always end up studying or doing something else. After they left, I went straight to Target (and Sports Authority) to get a helmet, a lock, a rack for the back and some lighting for the dark. Even though I am a little nervous, I am incredibly excited to cruise around the city!

Below are a couple of valuable lessons I learned this week:

1. For the most part, I cannot get work done in my apartment.

2. If I don't have some sort of plan or to do list, I am not very productive.

3. A day mixed with work and play is the best for me. :)

Doing Nothing

2009-06-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

In contrast to my last post, I have done nothing since I got home from work about 6 hours ago. I had a bad headache all day and haven't felt like doing anything since I got home. I had two midterms and a quiz this week, so all I really remember from the week is studying. I haven't gotten everything back, but I feel good.

Caitlin, Margot and Mary were in town last weekend, and it was so nice to see all of them- a little difficult though because they wanted to go with the flow in regards to scheduling, and I had studying to do. No huge plans for this weekend, but I want to get ahead for the week. I feel like I'm still at Northwestern for the reason that I pretty much always have something to do. Heading to bed early... nothing too exciting.

Mind Over Matter

2009-05-31T19:44:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh... I still can't get over this, which probably explains why I am blogging instead of studying, but after studying from 1ish-6 today, I decided that it was the perfect weather for a run.

I figured I would probably run for an hour or so, but then I saw the Sears Tower in the distance and decided I wanted to run there. I had no set path- just followed the tallest building in the city and went whichever way the streetlights allowed. It was so strange how easy the run felt, even at the end: I had my goal in mind and was not going to change my mind (powerful stuff). I would say that I have run an hour (at most) recently, but today I ran for 2 hours. When I look at google maps, it says that the shortest walking path is 10mi round trip, so I know I ran more than that.

What an amazing sense of accomplishment. Let's see how I feel tomorrow!

Intuition

2009-05-27T23:18:00.000-07:00

After going to bed at 4AM I did pop out of bed fairly easily at 9:30 to get ready and run to yoga, which started at 10. The class ended around 11:15, and I stayed until noonish. If I hadn't had class at 1, I may have stayed longer. Master Joyce began talking about the tension in my body. I ha always attributed it to stress, but she said other culprits exist. In my case, she believes that I am not utilizing all of my energy like I should. She says that I have a lot of leadership energy, and therefore need to be in a leadership role. I told her about some of the comments people made at camp (both this weekend and in February). She told me that one of the other Masters asked about me at the regional training. Upon seeing me, He mentioned that I have the same energy as Melissa Sabumnim. I don't know Melissa but have been told that she is a dancer and an amazing performance. Hmm... What is it with people saying that I need to be on stage and performing in some way? I don' know where to go with those suggestions in the present moment, but will keep them in mind.

An Uncommon LIfe

2009-05-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

I should probably get into bed soon seeing as I still have to edit a paper, and I want to get to morning class. However, my vision for tonight included writing about camp. If I wait too long to write, it won't contain as much detail or emotion.

I would not have been at May YEHA camp if Puran Nim had not called me last Tuesday night (one week ago exactly) and told me that he found me a good flight deal. (He even offered to buy me my ticket, and I could pay him back.) Not letting any thoughts get in my way, I booked my flight with him on the phone. I was excited at the time, but as the week progressed, and I reminded myself that this would be my fourth weekend in a row out of Chicago, I wasn't feeling 100%. Even when I got there I still questioned my decision a little. (I was hoping to see more familiar faces from last camp!) As training began all of those thoughts disappeared. The theme song for camp, Life Uncommon by Jewel, was a perfect choice for me as was the theme of loving yourself. (This is something I struggle with constantly.) Saturday's morning training consisted of stations. My group, the Soul Warriors, began at the hop shim ("one mind") station. Master Danielle began by asking why we have not yet achieved world peace. The answer is... We do not all have the same mindset or intentions. Therefore, there are too many goals that are trying to be reached. At the station each person received a sword to be held in one hand. On the count of three each person steps to the left, dropping their sword and catching the one on the left with the same hand. It sounds easy, but it took our group 20 mins to accomplish our vision of 5 in a row. Everyone has different ideas, and not every one's mind focuses on the task at hand. After a few short minutes I trusted the people to my left and right and did not worry about swords dropping. We got in a rhythm. I don't remember the comments that I made, but afterwords Danielle told me that I was a good leader. Positive feedback always makes me feel good. Next, I did some DahnMuDo with a mountainous backdrop, followed by two different meditations. In the first one, Master Aaron led us out of our bodies and into the body of an eagle and a mountain lion. When I approached a "grizzly bear with a message," as the mountain lion, the bear told me to live in peace. It may sound crazy to some of you who don't meditate, but it came without any thoughts.

In the afternoon we did a training with Master Blue Ocean in which we danced for about three hours straight. Then, we focused on loving ourselves. I was surprised at how focused I was dancing for that long: my mind did not wander; I just danced. The night training was more difficult for me a we were supposed to connect with Mother Earth and all that she does for us. I don't disagree at all but did not feel as connected as I wish I would have. Regardless... I kept choosing to push myself. During the morning DahnMuDo training the trainer said, "Every moment is a new choice. Choose." I couldn't agree more. Each of us has the power to make our own decisions. Another quote I heard from camp goes something like this, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Live in the present."

Sunday's first training consisted of DahnMuDo from the creator himself. He was so funny. He encouraged us to be sleek and smooth, not worrying about perfection (not my usual approach). We stretched a lot, which felt good. When we had to hold a position with our neck and feet just slightly above the ground, I wanted to drop my neck so bad, but he reminded us all that The pain and difficulty is usually forgotten later. I can relate to that: I tend to remember the things I do not do/accomplish.

The afternoon consisted of informational speeches and videos about Dahn Yoga, YEHA, opportunities, upcoming events, etc. At first I thought it would be boring, but I left that afternoon feeling so inspired. I will probably be speaking to a lot of you personally, but did you know:

Every day, 50,000 die due to poverty–related causes. That amounts to 18 million people per year.
Every day, more than 3,000 children die of hunger and easily preventable diseases.
Every day, some 1.2 billion people do not have access to safe water sources.
Every day, more than 1.3 billion people live on less than $1.
Every day, our planet is warming at a rate faster than at any time in the last 10,000 years.
Every human being on this Earth is affected by these problems.

For these reasons, Dahn Yoga began the "One Dollar Enlightenment Project," which asks people to donate $1/month. The $1 you donate will be used to support Education, Health and Environmental projects around the world congruent with the Millennium Development Goals mandated by the United Nations. One of the first targeted projects will be supporting the United Nations' effort to combat the global AIDS pandemic, especially the prevention of mother-to-child transmission. Primary prevention, testing, counseling, and better integration of care, treatment and support are key to combating MTCT. Ilchi Lee, the founder of Dahn Yoga, set a vision of 100,000,000 Earth Citizens. The Chicago region has a goal of 1,000 by Labor Day. Please help me with this cause, and I will add you to our count. (http://www.ibrea.org/Earth_Citizen/One_Dollar_Project/)

For some other awesome videos (You know you like to procrastinate.) check out what's happening 40 years to the day of Woodstock (http://www.brainartfestival.com/). I tentatively bought a ticket already.

My current vision includes being more dedicated to my yoga practice, finishing school, becoming a Master and/or Brain Management Consultant and working towards creating an entire health center with both preventative and curative health care options: acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, nutrition, psychology, general MD/DO, etc.

Our last night included dancing, skits, a closed eye walk and a bonfire. The skits were awesome this camp. We had some really stiff competition, but Chicago ended up taking first place. We were all going CrAzY!! Then, we were all supposed to trust the person ahead of us as we were lead to a huge bonfire. There we had a beautiful meditation training under the stars and looked into the eyes of our fellow YEHA members to see that each of us is the same person. We all feel the same emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, etc., regardless of sex, race, religion, ethnicity, age and so on. There were hugs all around, and it was a great last night.

I skipped breakfast and slept in a little on Monday. Then we gathered at the Ilchi Lee Museum for a hike up one of the mountains. There we did another amazing meditation surrounded by mountains. We were all supposed to come up with a standard for ourselves to shout to the mountains. A lot of people yelled love. While I think love is important, that's not the message I was receiving. After awhile, I got it... UNCOMMON. Just like the theme song, I want to/need to lead a life uncommon. I've been struggling with this for a little while now: knowing the person that I once was and also recognizing the changes. Sometimes I feel like I am being pulled in two different directions. So even though most people don't say I Love You often, I am going to say it more often. Everyone needs to be loved and to hear that they are loved. When other people are going out at night, I might be home working towards my vision. My decisions are my decisions. My thoughts are my thoughts. I cannot care what others think of them.

Everyone had the opportunity to share their experiences, and that was so incredibly touching. I cried a lot. Before leaving I received a couple of comments from others that stuck with me. 1. "I am so powerful." 2. "I have good energy and am good at gathering people together." Through my trainings I have been able to learn a lot about myself. For example, I don't like too much consistency/redundancy. I have a harder time telling men that I love them. (I think I have always thought of the phrase as only applying to friends, family and significant others.) I don't always take compliments well. The easy way does not make me feel the best. I know there is more that I have learned, but those are some of the things sticking out right now. I feel like I could go on and on talking about my experience and this great organization, but I think it's time to wrap it up. Please feel free to ask me more questions.

If you want to learn a little more about YEHA and the organization, check out www.youngearthhuman.com.

No, I Didn't Fall Off the Face of the Earth

2009-05-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

I have just become consumed with school. Each weekend begins ambitiously, but then I end up spending more time with my friends and family that I originally anticipate. (That's more important anyway.) I'll recap weekends in a bit, but as of today, I have successfully completed three weeks of my Masters, and so far so good. :) Tomorrow morning I wake up around 5AM to catch a 7:05 flight out of Midway to Phoenix. From Phoenix I will take a shuttle to Sedona for another yoga retreat. I was actually feeling fairly confident about not going until Puran called me Tuesday night and told me that he found a pretty decently priced flight. I know I won't look back once I get there, but I have been so "go,go,go" lately. It would be nice to have a bit of a break weekend.

So last time I wrote I had just returned from Iowa City. Two weekends again Lauren and I drove up to St. Paul, MN for Shawn & Bri's wedding, and this past weekend I went home for Brian & Jess's wedding. Lauren and I began the 6.5 hr drive to St Paul late morning on Friday the 8th and arrived just in time to check-in to our hotel and get ready for the rehearsal dinner. Lauren and I had not seen each other in awhile, so we had a lot to catch up during the beginning of the long drive. Until that weekend I had only heard about Shawn. I was so grateful to participate in their wedding weekend. I actually cried a lot more than I had anticipated. I cried when Brianna cried (as her Dad walked her down the aisle and then again as she recited her vows). I also got pretty sentimental at her reception. While I still consider Bri a good friend of mine, neither one of us can deny that we drifted apart in college. It'd be kind of hard not to since we lived in the same dorm, had the exact same schedule, studied WAY TOO MUCH together, but still... We used to talk about what our ideal weddings would be like, and now she is married. She and Shawn recited their vows in St. Paul's Cathedral- beautiful- and the reception that followed was well-planned and a lot of fun.

The good thing about not being one of the firsts to get married is I can come away from each wedding/reception having a better idea of what I want. On each of the tables at their reception they had pictures with trivia on the back, which I thought was a really cute idea. Plus, I just love pictures. There was also a short slideshow. Before the reception the DJ met with Shawn and Brianna individually and asked each of them to tell their side of their love story. Then, the DJ fused them together. (I think I may have cried during that too.) I'm not sure whose idea this was, but someone had thought to order pizza for a little bit of late night munching. While the distance took a lot out of me, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. (I'm still awaiting for Costa Rica details! :))

I got home this past Friday just in time for a filling- boo! Then, I spent a little time with my Grandparents before picking up some takeout with my parents and relaxing at home on Friday night. As I mentioned earlier, I brought my laptop home, planning to work on a paper, but I didn't open my computer once. My Mom and I had tentatively set a "study date" for Saturday but ended up grabbing a late lunch instead. (We both slept in, and I worked out too.) With both of our schedules, my Mom and I don't talk on the phone a lot, so there was plenty to talk about. We never have trouble with that.

Saturday night I busted out my new dress and HIGH heels. (I literally practiced walking in them.) During the wedding Jess's niece/ flower girl got mad at the ring bearer for walking too fast, hit him and then ran to the alter crying. Kids are so great! I still can't get over how quickly the reception flew by. When the DJ said, "45 minutes left," I couldn't believe it. I was pretty much on the dance floor (-heels) the entire time. Being at a reception with a lot of people you know really does make a difference. Mr. Allen gave a sweet speech. Homie is half Jewish, so I got to witness and participate in some of the Jewish wedding traditions. (I was really excited about this!!)

Shoot... It's almost midnight. I want to get to bed!

What is Healthy?

2009-05-05T18:27:00.001-07:00

As most of you reading this blog probably know, for about one year exactly I have eaten a vegan diet. The start of my 6 week detox was pushed back (by the program coordinators) to Monday, yesterday. It was so great to see my family in Iowa, but I felt like all I did this past weekend was eat. My family laughs at how much of a foodie I am:I took pictures and remember pretty much everything we ate this past weekend. I got to Iowa later than I expected, so my sister and I pushed our reservation back to 7:45 and dined at The Red Avocado (http://theredavocado.com) an organic, vegan restaurant in Iowa City. The two of us split a homemade gnocchi special served in a lemon caper sauce with local greens and broccoli. It was okay, in my opinion. I Loved the College Green Sunset: Layered herbed white bean pate, tempeh sausage, tofu ricotta, and caramelized onions wrapped in a flaky filo pastry purse on spinach polenta with horseradish-root vegetable-sweet-corn relish, roasted red pepper sauce & a fine drizzle of sweet balsamic reduction. Of course no meal in our book is complete without dessert, so we share a gluten free chocolate cake and an apple cobbler a la mode.

Lucky for my tired self, my sister was also tired. We borrowed Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which in my opinion was not even a movie (aka not good). I fell asleep during various parts of the movie, and I would guess we were in bed by 11. With such an early bedtime, I was shocked to wake up at NOON! My sister woke up about 45 mins later and we grabbed brunch at Fairgrounds (http://www.fairgroundscoffeehouse.com/) where we went all out. Everything here can be made vegan. I got a green tea latte; Monica ordered a Caramel Almond Turtle Latte. Then we split a Texas Omelette Waffle (Scrambled tofu, onions, red and green bell peppers and cheese baked into a waffle, smothered in our homemade salsa.) and Creme Caramel Grilled French Toast (Two slices of homemade focaccia dipped in batter and grilled, drizzled with our homemade cream cheese and caramel sauces, and topped with butter and powdered sugar! ). Shortly after brunch our parents arrived. We hung out together, checked into our hotel and made our way to dinner at Vesta (www.vestaiowa.com). Somehow I was hungry again?!

Vesta presents itself a funny little story. I really like trying a lot of different things, so Monica and I got a dinner for two which included a Hummus trio — white bean/truffle, garbanzo/tahini, fava/basil, Strawberry salad - greens, strawberries, avocados, sprouts, croutons, balsamic vinaigrette, Tasso pasta- pesto, angel hair, sun dried tomatoes, yellow squash, Spinach and ricotta raviolis- yellow squash, zucchini, tomatoes, artichokes and Chef Hershey’s warm peanut butter-stuffed chocolate cake and mascarpone ice cream for dessert. My Mom ordered the Bruschetta quartet — asiago/asparagus, beet/goat cheese, tomato/mozzarella, butternut squash/sage and Eggplant parmesan pizza — fried eggplant, fresh mozzarella, olives, artichokes, basil, giardinera.

Everything was delicious, but when we got the tasso pasta, I was wondering what tasted like meat. At first I thought it was eggplant. My mom thought it was mushrooms... I went up to look at a menu again: sun dried tomatoes and yellow squash? I asked the waitress and learned that tasso is spicy ham. Lovely... From now on I will definitely ask if I don't know what a word is. Luckily, I'm not intense like I can imagine some people being; it was just less for me to eat. After dinner the fam went back to watch the Bulls loose- lame! I wasn't really feeling tired, but everyone else seemed to be going to bed, so I did too. We shared a buffet brunch in the morning (w an amazing dessert section), and then I headed back to Chicago. (I don't now why this is double spaced now?)

Back to the title of this post: Yesterday I started my first classes at Pacific. Besides trying to balance school and still helping out at my old job, I am really excited! In my class today, the professor was talking about yin & yang energy. From that theory comes the different energies that the body needs yin (fruits and vegetables) and yang (meats). (I remember hearing that most people transition from vegetarian to meat eater in their time at Pacific. I talked to the professor a little while after class. He told me that his most unhealthy patients are usually vegetarians and vegans, so he usually recommends a couple of small portions (aka credit card size) each week.

A couple of hours later I had an acupuncture treatment. If you follow this blog pretty regularly, you will remember that I had to get an ultrasound and some other tests done when I visited my gynecologist a couple of months ago since I don't get my period anymore. Well, before taking any medicine I want to see if acupuncture works. Well... My practitioner today also suggested that I eat a little meat. She also taught me that the Chinese essentially HATE raw food. I guess it's hard on the organs to digest and uses a lot of energy.

So here I was, gung-ho to eat raw for 6 weeks, which is still vegan, and then I am turning this information over and over again in my head. This leads to my question, "What is Healthy?" My Tai Ji professor that I spoke with wasn't overweight, but I wouldn't describe him as slim and trim either. If I believe in this kind of medicine, do I also need to trust their diet. Or were the animals that lived 4,000 years ago very different from the ones that inhabit this earth today? I am a person who likes to have immediate answers, but I feel like I will need to sit on this stuff for a little while. Instead of doing my homework now, I am thinking and reflecting. I might need to do some trial-and-error, while journaling, to see what makes me feel the best. I know I bought groceries for a couple of days of raw, so I went to use that up. Then, maybe I need to wait on that a little to see if my acupuncture and diet recommendations can make a difference. Alright. I should go. I still have 6:30 meditation.

A Little Insight

2009-05-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

Once my laundry spins out I need a little nap before I get on the road. I woke up about every hour last night.

6:30 bow training was great. I ran there, which felt good/woke me up a little. We did 103 bows together, meditated for energy (for ourselves, for the center and for everyone else), did brain wave vibration (asking who I am and what I want) and qigong (feeling energy). When we shared at the end I explained that bow training was easier for me than normal, but I thought a lot during the other parts. When I was asking myself what I wanted, my response was energy. I don't have a hard time setting visions/goals, but I do not always stick with them. There is so much that I want to do, and I need more energy and will. When asking myself "Who am I?" I got a couple of different answers: a leader and a great person.

Taking Francesca with me last night was a great experience for me, and it makes me want to continue sharing with others. Feeling like a great person was so necessary for me, especially if you remember my biggest negative voice: "I am a bad person." I told my fellow classmates(?) that I feel as though today is a new day. I feel happy, committed and energized. When I spoke with Master Joyce after training, she told me that I have "simple, clear, strong leadership energy," but I do not accept myself. Wow, did she hit the nail on the head. I doubt myself a lot, have negative thoughts and am very hard on myself. Master Joyce encouraged me to keep going and fully love/accept myself. I see myself evolving as I continue to practice, so I can't wait to see where I go from here.

As of right now I'm still feeling dedicated to 6 weeks raw. It's just 6 weeks. If I really want to see what the hype is about, I need to stick to it. Willpower! I learned today that 6:30 bow training will be for 21 days. (Then, I leave for May camp on the 22nd.) Last night Puran mentioned that challenges are some of the best things in life because that's when we most learn about ourselves. Think about that...

I have such an exciting month!! I start school on Monday, have Bri and Shawn's wedding next weekend and Jess and Brian's the following weekend. These will definitely be challenges to my 6 weeks of raw. I think I will be doing a lot of writing and reflecting.

Feeling sleepy but oh so happy! :)

I Know I Should Be Sleeping.

2009-04-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow begins my 7 day 6:30AM bow meditation training at the center, but so much love, energy and sugar is running through my body right now. I want to remember this day, and all of its special details, forever. Therefore, I am going to write it all now, as if I am writing in a personal journal. Enjoy all of the honesty and sincerity! :)

Can I start by saying that before typing this entry I purchased Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" on iTunes? The lyrics of the song are amazing and really resonate with me.

So one countdown has come to a close today (my Kindergarten TA position at work), as another (6 weeks of raw eating) begins tomorrow. (After all of my sweets today, I am feeling ready.)

I arrive to work this morning as the kids were painting their little hands, placing them on a large piece of butcher paper and signing their names. Then, most of them drew me pictures, which I plan to hang on my walls. My co-worker, Peggy, had a large bouquet of assorted flowers for me, in addition to a sweet card. Remember, sometimes a censor what I post online, but not tonight. The card read: "You're the best! Thank you for all you have done. You are a very special young lady. Good luck in life. You deserve the best because you are the best. I am here for you always. Enjoy life and keep smiling. I'm going to miss you. :("

Shortly after one of the other boys, Elton, arrived with his father and brought me a beautiful assortment of purple flowers. Oh yeah. I cannot forget that a couple of days ago Elton's father brought me a stack of yoga magazines (so thoughtful!) and a card (w a check) on Tuesday that read: "I wanted to take a moment to say good bye to you as you pursue the career of your heart. You are very fortunate in that most people spend their life unhappy because they are not doing the work they want to do. Your heart, compassion, kindness and intelligence will take you far. There is also a strength and toughness in you that you can use whenever you need to. Good luck in all that you do. Let us know if you need anything."

On Wednesday Oliver and his mother brought me in some mums and assorted chocolates.

Yesterday Dominique told me to pick out lunch from The Chicago Diner. I decided on gyros: thin sliced grilled seitan with chopped tomatoes, onions & lettuce on a warmed pita bread with vegan tzatziki sauce with sweet potato fries on the side. 15 or so minutes before I was going to go upstairs for lunch, Miss Sherif stopped by with a large cake from a Swedish Bakery and a card w money?! She wrote in different spots all over the card: "Thanks so much for all the good and bad news. Myles love you. We all do. (smile)" "I hope all your dreams come true and you will make a very good mom someday." "Life is what you make it." (The comment about being a good mom really got to me.) Before leaving she apologized for not having time to make me food. I told her that it was not a big deal at all, and I meant that.

So I finish my lunch upstairs as Miss Sherif's daughter walks in the breakroom with a huge tupperware container of vegetable fried rice. I just shook my head... She really didn't need to do that. Another 10 minutes later Mrs. Sanders, Elton's mom, arrives with more flowers (I felt like I won a beauty pageant today!), 2 cupcakes and 3 tarts from Bleeding Heart Bakery, a Whole Foods gift card and another beautiful card. This one read: "Thank you so much for all you have done with Elton, Mark, myself and everyone. I know at times Elton and the other children have been a challenge, and I admire/appreciate your sincerity, compassion, and fairness through your time here. I've seen you extend yourself well beyond what is expected in both your personal and professional life. You have many great qualities older individuals are still struggling to achieve. Good luck in your career. I'm sure you'll excel there like you have done in your other endeavors. I will miss you. Also, don't forget to take time for yourself- it's necessary to be able to help others."

If you can't tell by now, I think kind words are one of the nicest gifts you can give a person. Everything else I received today is so greatly appreciated, but these cards brought me to tears.

The afternoon slowed down a little. The kids woke up kind of late. One of the parents brought in cookies and juice boxes, so we had those this afternoon. Then, we just had fun. A couple of the kids had the idea to go "camping" and asked for blankets. 20 minutes later I had built a huge tent/fort in the middle of the classroom.

Jonathan's Mom arrived right around 6 with my last card of the day in tow: "We are very proud of your decision to go to graduate school. We wish you all the best. We extend our sincerest appreciation for being Jonathan's teacher and helping to instill confidence in him. We consider you to be a friend of the family. Please stay in touch."

I'm crying again as I re-read these cards and think about how sweet everyone was to me today. Mrs. Sanders was trying to renew my yoga membership. Miss Sherif wanted to do more.... Honestly this was more than enough. Flowers and cards, maybe, but I can't believe all of the money I got?! Oh my gosh! I can't forget the card that all of my kids signed, including Dominique, who I think wraps up this stage of my life fairly well when she wrote, "All good things come to an end. Take care of business! I know you will do great in this field you have chose, and I hope all of your dreams come true!"

In talking to her tonight she reminded me that I do not give myself enough credit; I should not have been shocked that everyone at school wanted to do such nice things for me. She's right. I am so hard on myself and often dwell on the things I don't do that I may forget everything that I do/have done.

My amazing day transitioned into an equally amazing night of yoga. I brought Francesca with me. We tapped, learned more about the flow of energy and danced for 30 minutes. I don't know if I was a dancer in my past life, or what, but I did not want the dancing to end. I was all smiles and felt such great energy in the room with me. As I reflected on the day's events and all of the love I received today, I started to feel a love for myself that I don't know if I've ever felt before. When I talked to my friend Sara a few weeks ago, she told me that it's really important for me, and all women, to think of myself as deserving nothing but the best; because, I am such an amazing person. I am starting to understand where she is coming from.

In my yoga practice I am feeling a lot more flexible, and I have been feeling so much energy lately: Last night I actually went to the gym at 10PM because I didn't feel tired at that point. I really should get to bed now since I'm waking up in 5 hours.

1 More Day

2009-04-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. Today is April 29th, and after today, I only have one more day left of work. Last week I felt like the kids were really giving me a hard time, but now I feel the love and how much I am going to miss these kids.

As usual I have gone way to long since my last post, and there has been so much that has happened since.

Friday did end up being a beautiful 80degree day. I walked to work, spent the day outside with the kids, walked with a friend at lunch, walked to yoga and walked home from yoga. How could I not be in good spirits? Wed-Fri I also completed my 3-Day Green Smoothie Challenge. For drinking just smoothies I was surprised at 1. how energized I felt and 2. how little I needed to get me through the day. Since then I continue to have a smoothie each morning for breakfast.

Yoga training Friday night was pretty big for me. We were holding a posture (sleeping tiger with our heads up), and I "could not" do it. By "could not" I mean that I felt like I couldn't. My body could technically do it, but I was feeling a lot of pain and having a lot of doubts. Instead of pushing through, I gave up, which felt fine at the time, but really frustrated me afterwards. I think this is applicable to a lot of life situations for me, and I'm assuming a lot of other people. I went to be fairly early that night and woke up in time Saturday morning to go to yoga. (That rarely happens on a Saturday.) I waited until the last minute to pick up a gift for Jessika's bridal shower. All gifts were supposed to focus on the bedroom. I felt like I should do something practical, but when I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond, nothing on her registry covered the bedroom. Therefore, I went with something fun: stopped in Borders and picked up two books: "Do You Know Your Lover?" and "Position a Day (for Experts)." It was a mix of seriousness and humor. [Everyone really got a kick out of the second one. Ironically Jess just happened to open up to her wedding day: "Bend it Like Beckham." :)]

We went to Jess's sister's for the shower and then took a big van to Howl at the Moon. (I really do love that place.) Seeing as I don't drink anymore, I was really curious to see how enjoyable a bachelorette party would be for me. I had a great time. I was with my best friends from high school, singing, dancing and celebrating downtown. We planned to go to Cocktails in Boystown for some more fun but walked up to a door that read "NO Bachelorette Parties!" At the time it was raining and cool, so we jumped across the street to Roscoes. Wow, was I thrown into another world?! We didn't stay there too long, and instead decided to grab some food at Hollywood Grill. I am still impressed with myself for how late I was up. Karen and I finally decided at 4:30 that we should get to bed.

Cricadian rhythms woke us all up around 9/9:30. I hung out a bit at Grace and Charlie's and then headed home to meet my Dad, who was bringing my desk in from Rockford so that I have a place to study. Around 1 he dropped me off at Dave and Cristy's for Parker's little 6 month party. Oh my gosh... I cannot say enough about how much he makes me smile. :) When I walked in the door, I saw Ema and Lindsay too!! (I didn't think they would be able to come.) Marc Rossoff happened to be in town, so I saw him, and more of the crew continued to show up. I always cherish time over there, so leaving around 5 to babysit was tough. In talking to my Grandma on my way home, I realized that my weekend was so special because I spent time with yoga/Chicago friends, HHS friends and NU friends.

Monday was tough for me because there was a car alarm going off in front of my apt ALL night! When I was in a deep sleep, it didn't wake me up, but I was solidly awake basically 1-4AM. I crashed really early that night.

Now, for what most of you may want to know about, my date last night: Brian picked me up at 7:15, which gave me just enough time to re-get ready a little. I offered him a couple of restaurant options, but ultimately he told me to pick. I went with Opera in the South Loop-"Chinese with Modern Presentations." The restaurant has a separate vegan menu, which was a huge influence in my decision. I had not realized this, but on Tuesday and Sunday nights, diners have the option of a $29/50 three course meal. It wasn't applicable to vegans, but oh well!) I ordered orange tofu, and it was delicious! I had some of it for dinner, some more for lunch today and still have another portion. At dinner conversation flowed easily, and I felt really comfortable (which is huge for me after my some of the dates I've been on in the past). We decided to head over to the theaters after dinner and decided on I Love You Man; Earth wasn't playing until a lot later. I don't think a movie has made me laugh out loud like that in a long time. It helped that there was this guy behind us that laughed a lot and laughed often. It was a good "first date" movie, but I recommend that everyone see it. (I don't usually feel that way about movies.)

It's not like I actually have a checklist, but I feel like he did everything a "good guy" should do: opened doors, insisted on paying (which I don't think should always be up to the guy), valued my opinion, etc. I'm not sure when, but we plan to see each other again.

I'll Believe it When I See It

2009-04-23T11:48:00.000-07:00

According to the weather reports, it is supposed to reach 80degrees tomorrow. It was supposed to be 70 today, but it definitely feels a lot cooler to me.

So I left my last post hanging on who I talked to Monday night. Well,one of my friend sent me a text last week, "Hey. Would you be interested in being set up for a date? I have a cute friend interested in asking you out if you're up for it. He's cute, nice, normal. Don't worry. I wouldn't set you up with someone who I didn't think would at least be worth meeting. Let me know." Besides my schedule being a little crazy, I was definitely up for it. Why not?

So we had that initial get to know you conversation Tuesday night. I thought it went well, and I told him that I would give him a call soon to figure out dinner. He sent me a nice text on Tuesday, which I appreciated, and then we talked again last night. There were two Big turn-offs for me. 1. I told him that at one point I was working 8-6:30 at the preschool and was so drained that I asked my boss to change my hours back to 10-6:30. He called me a slacker. 2. When I was talking about some of my friends from school being in a sorority, he made some noise and a comment about me buying friends. I told him that I don't appreciate those comments, and U of I and Northwestern are very different schools. I'm a pretty sarcastic person, but I was not feeling those comments.

I'm supposed to, and will, call him after orientation tonight, and we are going to try and find a meeting point for Tuesday night.

Including today... 6 more days of work- holler!

Here We Go!

2009-04-21T11:44:00.001-07:00

In addition to the 6 week raw detox I signed up for, I also registered for a simpler 3-day green smoothie challenge. For my small $5 donation to the whales I could send an e-mail to someone else, and I chose my sister. I wasn't sure if she would be into the idea, but she's on board! :) I think we are going to start tomorrow. You can use the smoothies at any level that you want- smoothie for breakfast only, all smoothies or anything in between. I want to go for three days of only smoothies. I think you can do anything for three days (a little different than six weeks).

It's cool and rainy today, but the temperature is supposed to pick up tomorrow, reaching 80degrees by the end of the week. (I don't trust the weather much though.) I'm coming off of a great weekend and have a lot coming up. After babysitting on Saturday night I met up with Sydney (my roommate from last year), who I had not seen in a long time. Sunday morning I got a great workout in- went to a spinning class, met-up with the "Chicago Young and Raw" group at a place called Doc's Smoothies in Bucktown, and had Carrryn over to make dinner.
That was my first meet-up with that group, and it was really nice that everyone was under 35. It was also a small group, so we all sat at one table. I immediately recognized Lenette, the organizer, when I walked in. Everyone ordered the green smoothie, so I went with that one too. Each person was supposed to bring some kind of snack with them. I made almond butter for the first time, which was incredibly easy. Others brought crackers, guacamole, "cheese" dip, cookies (so good!), a green bean salad and these delicious little crepes. It was a great introduction for me, and I hope to spend more time with this group.

Later that day Carryn came over for dinner. I had not seen her since I made a quick visit to Dance Marathon, and I hadn't really had a chance to talk to her either. Once she arrived, we picked up some groceries at Whole Foods and made dinner together: an arugula salad with pear and brie, followed by spinach spaghetti with green beans, potatoes and homemade pesto. We had our doubts a few times, but it turned out really well! :)

Last night I went to see Cristy, David and Parker, which was amazing! More to come on the phone call I had on my way.

Oh my gosh. What did I sign up for?

2009-04-15T12:19:00.001-07:00

Let me first start by saying that I am typing this entry on my new MacBook, and she is beautiful! :) I can't help but have a smile on my face. I spent the afternoon out and about with my friend Elizaveta and her little girl Klava. Elizaveta and I each got new running shoes. Then we grabbed lunch and sat outside on the patio. I love seeing all of the families and the dogs outside. Everybody just seems so happy! I need to head out in a bit to babysit, but I had to get this post up.

In general, life has felt pretty monotonous for me lately: It's great to have school to look forward to, but I feel like I am in that Groundhog Day movie, where Bill Murray wakes up to have each day the same as the one before. I've been struggling to wake up and get out of bed most days, and I love the nights that I have yoga because I feel so great, but I usually don't get home until 8:15 or 8:30, leaving me a couple of hours before bed.. Oh how the days fly by!

If it wasn't for the weekends, I'd really go crazy! Last weekend I headed home after work (around 8:30PM) on Friday. I arrived to my parents both dead asleep, but my sister was merely getting ready to go out for the night. The two of us caught up a little, and surprisingly my Mom woke up around 11:30, and we were up until I headed for bed around 2AM. She had recorded everything from Inauguration Day, and since I wasn't able to watch it, we watched it together. Saturday was one of those relaxing days when I sat in the kitchen talking to my Mom. Since she's gone back to school, we really don't talk as much as we used to, maybe a few times a week. The rest of my day consisted of a run, relaxing a little, meeting friends of the family out for dinner and then going over to my Grandparents. (I was supposed to meet up with Karen and Emily after work, but it didn't work out.)

I wanted to bring something over to my Aunt Sheri's for Easter brunch, but Hilander didn't have the ingredients I needed to make my spinach mushroom quiches, and in talking to my Grandma, I didn't let the dough rise in the right pan, so my Polish Easter bread didn't turn out. :( Oh well... There was PLENTY of food there. I obviously didn't eat a majority of this, but there was 2 quiches, french toast, sausage, bacon, ham, potatoes, fruit, rolls, spinach & feta pinwheels, coffee cake, cream cheese pastries, biscuits and gravy, cream puffs... I probably even forgot a couple of things. (My aunt always outdoes herself.) Oh yes... There was also about anything one could have wanted to drink. That night my family and I went to the Cubs vs. Brewers game at Miller Park.

At one point in the afternoon I was considering passing on the game because my Mom and I got in some stupid, little disagreement, which tends to happen about every time I go home. I get so frustrated because we spent all day Saturday talking. Then, on Sunday, she said something to me in a joking way, but for some reason I snapped at her, which ticked her off (aka She ignored me, which hurt my feelings.) and on and on. I don't know what it is about the two of us, but we each know how to upset the other.

The game ended up being great. We didn't tailgate too much because 1. We weren't that hungry, and 2. it was a little cool outside. (It's nice that Miller Park has the retractable roof.) Once we got inside though, we each grabbed something to eat before the game. As a non-meat eater in WI, vegan at that, I didn't think I would have much for options, but get this, my Mom and I ordered stir-fries (peanut and ginger) . haha I definitely took a picture of that- not your typical game day meal. My sister got a hot dog, and my Dad ordered a brat. Soriano stepped up to bat first and hit a home run. What a great way to start the game?! With a score of 8-5 and Prince Fielder stepping up to bat with 2 on, we got a little nervous at the bottom of the ninth, but we struck Fielder out swinging.

I didn't sleep on the way home, which surprised me, and I had a hard time falling asleep that night, so getting up Monday morning was hard, but in general my week was good. I got my computer Wednesday night; Emily came into town Thursday night, so we got together with Jess, Charlie and Grace for dinner. Last night I made dinner, relaxed and finally watched Slumdog Millionaire with my roommate Melissa and her boyfriend Greg. The movie was a lot more intense than I had anticipated, but it was a good one.

I also listened to a teleseminar last night, which explains the title of this blog. After sleeping on it, I signed up for a 6-week raw detox starting May 1st. I already know it won't be perfect with a couple of weddings that month, but I am going to do my best. I've heard so much about how everyone's body needs to do this, but I haven't felt too motivated to do it. With the warm weather, and the deal I got, I felt like I had to do it. That will definitely be something interesting to write about, and now that I think about it, writing might help me stick to it more because I will be writing down all of the things that I make.

PS Happy Birthday Ashley! xoxo

In the Final Stretch

2009-04-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

Including today, I have 16 days left of work, and I definitely feel the anticipation of going back to school. Not having a computer has made it a little difficult to be as on top of my blog, but it also forces me to get off facebook, e-mail, etc and do something else with my night- kind of liberating.

Tuesday night Dominique and I went to Apple to look at MacBooks, so I hope to have a computer by this time next week.

After yoga last Thursday night I stayed up late making L.Reed some homemade (vegan) funfetti cupcakes and frosting. I could have gone the easy way and made them out of the box, but I didn't feel like that was enough. Plus, I like to bake and try new recipes.

Friday ended up being a pretty jam-pack, but enjoyable, day. Let me first start by sharing the benefits of yoga in my life: I decided to drive to work on Friday. I was almost to school, driving down the side street, when a guy was attempting to parallel park. (I could tell by the reverse lights.) He didn't move, so I figured he must have wanted me to go first, but as I started to move, he quickly swung his car back into the spot. Thinking he was going to hit my car, I honked my horn. He immediately through up his middle finger at me. "Hey!" I thought. I went forward a little and then decided to stop by car. I put it in park and went up to him.

I said, "Excuse me. That wasn't nice. I didn't know if you saw me, and I was just trying to avoid an accident."

He apologized. "You're right I'm sorry."

I responded, "It's okay. Have a good day!"

As I was walking into work Grace called to see if I wanted to grab lunch. The two of us grabbed Thai nearby. Then, after work I met Tim, Matt, Rob and Kate at La Gondola, an Italian restaurant in Lakeview. It is awkwardly located in a Jewel-Osco strip mall, but it is very cozy inside (only 4 tables), and the food was delicious. I ordered the special: homemade pumpkin ravioli which came with a cup of minestrone soup. It was very flavorful. Before leaving, the manager sent out shots of limoncello. It was so nice to be with all of them again and easy to pick right up where we had left off. Even though I had not seen them in seven months, it didn't feel much different.

After dinner I went back to my apartment, grabbed Lindsay's cupcakes and brought them to here apartment. Right as I was arriving, everyone was wanting to head out to Mad River. I would have been content staying at Lindsay and Ema's, but it was Lindsay's birthday. I guess the bar has never really been my scene, but I definitely felt that when I went in there Friday night. It's kind of hard to explain, but I guess I feel like I don't get to see my friends enough, so when I do, I'd prefer a setting that is less noisy, more intimate and with less going on around us in general. It definitely makes for some good people watching though. I headed out around 1 because I knew I needed my energy for the upcoming day.

Saturday morning I babysat in Evanston 9-11:30AM. From there I went to help set-up for the YEHA Regional Training at the Chicago Center. The training took place from 1PM on Saturday to 1PM Sunday. We started with some group training that I enjoyed more than I thought I would. (I had done the human knot more than once, but this time the allotted hour went by so quickly, and my mind didn't wander to think about anything else.) Then, we did a trust walk. I should have journaled about all of the training, but we did some really great energy training based on clapping, DahnMuDo outside Sunday morning and partner healing. Of course there was dancing too. The training came together really well, and I signed up to go back to Sedona May 22nd-25th. As of right now I can really see myself teaching in the future, so I am trying to attend as many classes and trainings as possible.

I found myself pretty exhausted once I got home from the training. That, in combination with the hail outside, led me to lay around on the couch and watch tv.

Selecting a Title

2009-04-01T19:01:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it's easy to think of my title aka "My Earth Hour" as I was writing during Earth Hour, but there are a few different options for this entry based on what I was thinking about at the time (I was thinking this morning that I needed to write today/tonight.): Signs, A New Routine or So Here's the Problem... , Fooled Again and Gone.

I will explain each of them now and then recap the past couple of days. Signs: I think I have written about my workout rut a few times. A few weeks ago I had the realization that it might be good to train for something, giving me a purpose and a focus for my workouts. Well, my latest issue of Fitness has a training schedule for a half marathon, and then yesterday I somehow got a flier in the mail about a half-marathon coming to Chicago in August (Rock N' Roll). There's live music at every mile, which I think is awesome, and would probably make the run a lot easier. I had actually talked to Dominique about training for something since everyone knows it's usually more fun to train with someone. I literally just called her, and she is pretty pumped about the idea. :)

"A New Routine" So I realized that working out is much more beneficial for me if I am taking classes. However, "Here's the Problem"... I was at the gym by 5:55 for a 6AM sculpting class (Don't forget that I don't have to be to work until 10.), and the class was packed full. This means I need to wake up and get to the gym even earlier. I don't know how I feel about that. What I've done the past couple of mornings is wake up early, workout and then do my 103 meditation bows before I start the day. I know the meditation is supposed to help me clear my mind, but it's not working so well. I also spend a lot of the time thinking about how many I have left to do.
haha

"Gone" My routine was definitely different this morning as I attempted to turn on my computer. Nothing happened. This translates into no Pandora, no weather check, no first glance at my inbox, no cta bus tracker, etc- not cool! Things could be worse though, and this means that it's time for a new computer. Mac, here I come!

"Fooled Again" My friend Tim is so great with April Fool's Day. Last year he e-mailed everyone that he had decided to remain in Spain (the country in which he was studying abroad). Today he sent the following e-mail:

"

Hello Family and Friends…

So I don’t really know how to put this out there without really worrying you all, but in 48 hours, I will be on a plane back to the US…

Everything is a little chaotic right now and I still don’t know all the details but this is what I do know… I don’t know how many of you are following the news with North Korea, but things are getting worse! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE keep this on the down low for a little, but I guess Fulbright has received some sort of inside information that the US will be mobilizing a significant amount of troops into North Korea?!?! North Korea will not back down on launching this “satellite”/missile and I guess there is other suspicious activity that isn’t being reported in the news?!?! I’m guessing the US actions are going to be drastic considering they are calling for an “immediate evacuation of all individuals affiliated with Fulbright”. South Korea is quickly evacuating all Americans, though we are told Fulbrighters with our diplomatic visas are being given priority.

AHHH!!! Everything is happening so fast. The Fulbright office has been calling us all as quickly as possible. They basically told us we have 48 hours to be packed and at the Seoul airport. We don’t even have a chance to return to our schools to say goodbye… we were instructed to pack our luggage and say goodbye to our host families tomorrow, as we all fly out at 6 am the next day!

While, of course I am worried about my safety, I am currently just in shock and am really sad this experience is over so abruptly! This semester, I was feeling so much more comfortable in my many roles here, as a teacher, in the homestay, with my Fulbright friends, etc. Of course I will be happy to be home with all of you and safe, but I will forever feel like I was robbed of my full experience here in Korea. My friends and I have been calling each other tonight, fighting back the tears thinking about leaving each other and our host families so soon!!! Why now? Why Korea??? My host family is kinda freaking out too, trying to help me pack, but really just worried and sad… :( I haven’t even had a chance to call my immediate family yet to tell them the news, but I will do that shortly after sending this email!

Anyway, I just wanted to keep all of you informed and I guess I will be seeing most of you sooner than I thought. I also wanted to inform you that this is another one of my evil April first emails!!! Yup, you just read that correctly… Gotcha!!! Whoa… I can’t even imagine the responses that I am going to get from this email!!! :) I didn’t figure I could fool many of you again with an email saying I am staying in Korea, like I did from Spain, so I went with this idea instead! I just hope none of you have called CNN or the White House or Obama himself! I have to end this email in a panic style in case any of you tried to cheat and look for me to give it away too easily at the bottom. I really did not think anything would escalate from this conflict, but I guess it has?!?!

If I get time, I will try to write you all again before I get on the plane. I guess I will see most of you sooner than I thought. Here is to hoping I get out of Korea safely!"

He's good, right?

Other than those big updates, I am so grateful to have yoga in my life. We have not been able to find a consistent new teacher at work but keep getting new kids. I had a pretty bad headache today, but then yoga was amazing. I'm really looking forward to seeing how my body changes once I can go even more consistently (when school starts). The other night my Master told me that I have a lot of energy in my body but also a lot of tension.

My Earth Hour

2009-03-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

Tonight I spent the first half an hour of Earth Hour watching my third or fourth episode of the Law & Order SVU Marathon. Then, Greg (Melissa's boyfriend) and I made a Scooter's run. After they shared a piece of their deep dish pizza with me, I went for the Caramel Fudge Nut Brownie Chip (AKA. "CFNBC")- "Vanilla Custard, Scooter's Fabulous Fudge Nut Brownie, Caramel Fudge & Chocolate Chips." It was delicious. In general, it was a lazy, amazing day. This morning I picked up Sarah and Sarah from their hotel downtown, and we came back my way for brunch. (There was a bit of drama last night, and I didn't end up meeting up with them.) They both said they didn't need meat for breakfast, so we went to Victory's Banner (http://www.victorysbanner.com/about.php). You would find this out by looking at the website, but all of the employees are meditation students and study with the Indian Spiritual Master Sri Chinmoy. "The restaurant is a reflection of the impact Sri Chinmoy has had on our lives, and it is inspired by him. His philosophy encourages a sincere inner life with an active outer life." You know me. I like supporting these types of places. :)

I would say that we waited no more than 15 minutes, and we got our food after about ten minutes. I started out with Very Veggie Juice (tomato, carrot, celery, beet, parsley, lettuce,watercress and spinach) and ordered "Eggless Wonder #2" (marinated tofu with broccoli, onion, tomato, mushroom, zucchini, potato, feta cheese, pesto and brown rice, served with
hearth bread). Both were flavorful and delicious. There lunch menu has some great offerings as well, so I will have to go back again sometime soon. It was great to catch up with the two of them; it had been awhile.

After brunch Sarah Richards needed to go to Navy Pier to pick up her "bib bag" for the Shamrock Shuffle tomorrow. It was crazy there- people and cars all over. The most humorous part of the day was the drive from Navy Pier to Union Station. While it was about half a mile away, the GARMIN (GPS) was having a hard time getting us there. I don't know if it was the skyscrapers or what, but it would say, "Turn right. Then turn left. Recalculating... Turn left then turn left." We were driving all over the place and in crazy tunnels.

It's Official...

2009-03-27T12:11:00.001-07:00

I am a full-time student starting May 4th.I had my final interview with the dean before work this morning and am now even more excited to start school. :)

I am on my lunch break now and feeling tired. I did not sleep well last night. It was Kaitlin's (my roommate) Birthday, and she had her family and some friends over. I must say that I was pretty jealous of her parents' display of love. They brought her a birthday cake and champagne on top of her presents: a wii, wii fit, controllers, games, some flip-flops- pretty special. Some of those are definitely apartment gifts.

In general though i haven't been sleeping very well. Surprisingly, when my alarm went off around 5:30 this morning, I actually did wake up and go to the 6AM Turbokick class.

All in all it's been a good week but also a rather exhausting one. One of our teachers left last week, so I have been trying to help out everywhere and anywhere I can, which often means being with the two year-olds. For that reason I have had a very hard time getting out of bed most mornings, feeling utterly exhausted. Sarah Dahl's coming into the city tonight, and I can't wait to see her, Sarah and Vanessa.

New Loves of My Life

2009-03-25T11:38:00.001-07:00

I typically despise going to the gym after work, but since I haven't been sleeping well lately, I packed a gym bag and went to Xsport straight from work yesterday for a 7PM "Turbokick" class. Oh my gosh... I loved it- so much fun! It definitely broke my workout rut. I would describe it as a combination of kickboxing and dancing. I guess they do a new routine every 12 weeks. I caught the last class of the session and caught on pretty easily. The instructor, Julie, was totally into it and had the perfect personality to teach the class: funny, yet motivating. I guess she teaches on Friday mornings at 6AM also. There's really no need for me to wake up that early during the week, but I may just have to for this class.

One of my favorite things to do after a good trip to the gym is head next door to Whole Foods to pick up some healthy ingredients for dinner. There's a guy in produce named Robbie, who is always having me try new things. He told me that a lot of people come there after the gym to get "young coconuts" for their water. I guess coconut water is known for aiding in relaxation?! I was immediately curious and asked him what the water tastes like. He went and opened one up for me. I was surprised at how "sweet" this water is. I have a pretty big sweet tooth, but maybe a glass of coconut water would help curve it. I wonder how I can use it in recipes.

Sushi Champion!

2009-03-23T11:42:00.000-07:00

While it's a bit gloomy today, I have been LOVING this spring weather. I was stir crazy in the car on my way back to the city yesterday afternoon. I had the windows down, and the sun was shining. I found out on Saturday that Dave is back in Chicago for a little while, so we made plans to get together yesterday. It was originally just dinner, but once he heard that I was going for a run, we decided to go together. I didn't think that would be a good idea since I haven't been too consistent with my running, but it worked out well. It was so good to see him. Was it really about a year since we'd seen each other? Time really does go by fast.

I wish I knew how much we ran. Just going to and from my place, I ran about 3.5 miles. After running we got ready and went out for sushi. We had decided on another place, since I went to House of Sushi and Noodles recently, but he was pretty pumped to hear about the all you can eat buffet, so we had a change of plans. I didn't really care, so we went there.

I don't know if this is something that I should be proud of, but for him being "starving" and me feeling "not so hungry," I ate more sushi than him (just by a piece). I finished all three of my rolls: North Carolina Maki (Sweet Potato Tempura with Crunch Batter, Cream Cheese, Green Onion, Unagi Sauce with Mayo, Crunch Batter), Mang Tango Maki (Unagi Tempura, Mango, Cucumber) and some kind of Tofu Maki. I actually felt like I maybe could have eaten another one, but it definitely was not necessary. haha In his defense, one could argue that his were more filling because they had fish in them. If I wouldn't have been so full on sushi, I might have suggested a stop at Scooters, which has reopened for the season, but I think that will have to be another day.

Busy Week!

2009-03-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

Once again a week has gone by, and I have not written at all; I constantly feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. This entire week I stayed up later than normal and had an almost impossible time waking up to start my day.

Monday morning started out well as I dropped off a few Bum Bar sample packages. The morning was warm, and the sun was shining. However, as soon as I walked into the classroom, I sighed. I just didn't want to be there. Yet. as the day and week progressed, I found myself enjoying work more, especially on St. Patrick's Day. The temperature reached almost 70 degrees that day, and we spent the afternoon outside playing. Everyone was out and about in full force Tuesday night. On my walk to yoga I saw so many people running, walking their dogs and playing outside with their children. The warm weather really is a beautiful thing. :) I was planning to meet up with friends in Lincoln Park that night, but as they changed their party location to Wicker Park, and my workshop got out early, I opted for a quiet night at my place instead.

Wednesday night I made a delicious dinner of "nutty broccoli." It was so simple: I steamed some broccoli as I made a sauce of peanut butter, Braggs/soy sauce and orange juice. I combined it all with brown rice and chopped some peanuts for the top. (If you'd like the recipe, let me know.) Then, I went to work on so much waited for cookies for my grandparents. My Grandma's favorites are Mexican Wedding Cookies, and my Papa likes your American favorite chocolate chip (with pecans). Before I knew it, it was much later than I wanted it to be.

I don't know which days these happened, but here are a few funnies from the kids at my school:

Me: "X, You better be careful, or you could fall and crack your head open." X: "I'm not an egg. Eggs crack."

Me: "Y, Did you toot?" Y: "No, I farted."

One of my four year-0lds was singing Beyonce's "Single Ladies" as she was supposed to be working on here homework. Another one of the girls, who just changed her name for the second time, decided that she wants to be a queen when she grows up. :)

On Thursday morning I met with Master Alena to discuss my Shim-Sung experience and receive guidance from her. I am to do 103 bows, a form of meditation, each day. (In case you were wondering, it takes me about 25 minutes, but my mind is pretty clear halfway through.) My Shim-Sung follow-up occurred later that night. After a week in the "real world," it was nice to be re-inspired to have visions and to make a difference. The mental state/happiness of our world is so much lower than it should be, and the more "enlightened" each person becomes, the more the world will change for the better. I have hope that conditions will improve. I should have tried to write more on Thursday, and I'm a bit tired now, so I will try to write more later.

I drove home late Thursday night because I scheduled myself a dentist apt and a doctor's apt on Friday. Those did not go like I expected. After brushing at least twice a day and flossing every day, I have a cavity that I need to get filled. The dentist told me that sometimes the enamel forms so deep in the tooth that bristles cannot reach those spots. I guess there's not much I can do about it. As for my doctor's appointment, I don't want to write too much, but what I expected to be the typical yearly exam turned into an ultrasound (No, I'm not pregnant.) and blood work. I was freaking out during the ultrasound: she was checking for cancer. Fortunately, all looked good there. I just have a lot of follicles in my ovaries?! I'm still not entirely sure what this means, but she told me not to stress. She'll call me this week with the lab results. So more to come on this.

That night I grabbed dinner with my parents and just relaxed. This morning I woke up to go to my massage at 10 at Essential Elements. I was redeeming a gift certificate, which makes any massage even more enjoyable. :) It was a Beautiful afternoon, and I spent it with my Grandparents and then taking Chief for a walk with my parents. Tonight I met Jesse for dinner at India House Restaurant. I had not seen her in so long, so it was great to catch up, and the food was delicious. Time for bows and bed haha. Oh yeah... official "final interview" for school on Friday. Otherwise everything else is in for a May 4th start.

I Can Be Anybody; I Can Do Anything!!

2009-03-15T21:43:00.000-07:00

This is my powerful, positive mantra that I found during Shim-Sung this weekend.

Part of me feels tired right now and another part of me feels so much energy and drive and wants to do so much before going to bed. Either way, I knew I had to write before I retire for the night:

So one of the rules of shim-sung is that you cannot tell anyone about what actually happens in the workshop, but you are supposed to share your discoveries and your feelings. (It makes the experience more meaningful and real.) So where do I begin? In general I feel like I am gaining more confidence, not caring what others think so much. I feel a ton of love in my heart and am working toward more love for myself. I have a better understanding that my mind, my soul and my body are all different entities, and I have to be conscious of this. There are times of physical challenge when your body wants to give up, and your mind encourages you to give up, but if you want it bad enough, and believe in yourself enough, you can do/endure anything. As I wrote before, when there's a will there's a way! What's on the inside truly matters more than anything else. The past affects you, and it is important to recognize the pain and emotions but also important to move past these feelings. Music is so so powerful. I think the world has the potential to move in a much more positive direction, but people need to be willing to change.

More specifically the hardest realization I had during this training is that I have A LOT of negative thoughts about myself. The biggest, most painful thought that goes through my head on a daily, probably hourly basis is "I am a bad person." I feel bad if I forget to do something, especially when it is for someone else. (Speaking of... I just ran into my roommate's room to text her some information that she asked about on Friday.) I feel bad if I don't wake up early enough to be productive in the morning. I feel bad if I'm a little too hard on the kids at school. I feel bad if I haven't been in touch with a friend or family member in awhile. The list goes on and on.

On the side of more positive realizations, I have changed the way in which I view my relationship with my parents. I understand that the way they are comes largely from their past, and no matter what, they love me so much. At this training I realized that while I sometimes try to back out of this role, I am naturally a leader, a teacher and a cheerleader.

Those are the biggest lessons I can think of right now. Trainings always leave me feeling so amazing and wanting more! :)

If you read my last post, you know that this weekend was more than Shim-Sung: After work Friday night I met Kathryn, Lindsay and Ema at Cristy's. We ordered in Thai food, caught one another up on life and had some meaningful conversations, which included a discussion of how, unlike the transition from high school to college, no one is prepared for the transition from college to the real world. This makes the first year out of college incredibly difficult. I personally think talking about it makes people feel better and more "normal," but each of us, in addition to many others, talked about how hard it has been for us. It had been (w0w!) almost nine months since we had all been together, but everything felt so right. Friends are so important in life, and I am so grateful for mine. I probably do not thank them enough.

Shortly before going to bed (Kat and I slept over.), Cristy asked Kat and I to be Parker's Godmothers. Of course we both said yes while simultaneouslt shrieking. haha I was flattered and excited at the time, but as I continue to think about it and talk about it, my heart feels more and more love, honor and privilege. Like Cristy said, "Now we kind of have to be friends forever." Not that I didn't plan to before, but it solidifies our relationship even more; we will always be connected. Now I also have even more of an excuse to spoil beautiful baby Parker, who I met in his first 24 hours of life. I'm Aunt Karissa. :)

Excited About My Weekend!

2009-03-13T11:54:00.001-07:00

So last night everyone is supposed to be dancing at the beginning of YEHA class. As I think I've mentioned before, dancing is a way to clear your mind. However, I cannot clear my mind. I keep thinking about how I want to go to the Shim Sung ("Heart Opening") self-discovery workshop this weekend. So I leave in the middle of the song to ask Master Elena if there is any way that I can still attend the training. I feel bad, but I canceled on a babysitting job for Saturday night and went to the center at 8:30 this morning (before work) to anything to come up in the future: Carpe Diem, I guess!

So for a little bit about the workshop: Shimsung is described as "a powerful transformational workshop that unlocks the spiritual core. The training focuses on my "energetic essence," as opposed to my numerous vocational roles: sister, friend, daughter, etc. It will take place 12-7:30 on Saturday and 8:45-7:30 on Sunday. In the end I am supposed to "regain self-confidence, eliminate negative personal traits and achieve more harmonious relationships by attaining a deeper understanding of the people close to me" by examining my mental thought patterns and emotional behaviors. This morning Master Elena explained that to find one's true self/nature you have to get through layers of preconceptions, emotions, thoughts and behaviors, which can make life challenging and burdensome.

Class last night was cool because after the dancing we held three different postures last night knowing that our body physically can hold the postures. It's whether or not our thoughts and/or emotions take over, telling us to release from the posture. At my second YEHA class I had to hold a posture for awhile, but I did not receive the explanation beforehand. I kept thinking: this is miserable; I don't want to do this; I can't do this. With that negative thinking, I definitely dropped my arms a few times. Last night I was able to hold all of the postures for the allotted time. It was at least five minutes I think.

I will keep you posted on Shimsung. I am also incredibly excited to have Kat coming into town this weekend. Tonight a few of us are meeting up at Cristy's. :)

A Delightful Dinner

2009-03-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wished away the rain only to wake up to a 15degree morning. (I will never understand how that happens.) When I walked home last night, it was still in the fifties?!

Last night was a really nice start to my week. Emily invited me over to her apartment for dinner. We talked a bit until Daniel got home. I had never met him before but assumed he would be great since I like Emily so much; I was right.

For dinner Emily made a version of "beef" stew filled with tofu, potatoes, carrots and kale. It was hearty, flavorful and filling. To accompany the stew she made some simple biscuits, which I used to dip in the stew. At the table we shared the food as we got to know each other a little more. I find them both incredibly interesting and intelligent people.

The meal ended with a little dessert: mango passion coconut milk ice cream, a homemade chocolate chip cookie and some hot tea- this almond flavor that I had never had before. I guess Emily made the cookies with buckwheat flour, an ingredient I have never used before but liked. It left the cookies with almost a blue tint to them, and I really liked the flavor and the texture.

It was getting late, and I knew I should leave soon, but Daniel told me that I couldn't not partake in their ritual of live music after dinner. Unfortunately I had nothing to add to the duo, so I sat on the couch as Daniel sang and played the guitar and Emily accompanied him on the piano. I was not sure exactly how to explain it to him. Daniel sounds like a professional, very natural. When I told him that I wish I could sing, he told me that he hasn't always been able to sing. I should try. He just worked at it a lot. Then, when I commented that I wish I played an instrument, he asked me why I didn't? So is there hope for me?

In general, they were a great couple to be around. Although they've been together for awhile, I can tell that they really love each other, which is always refreshing. Talking to hem has made me think about age more. When Daniel told me that he is 32, I was shocked. Am I more mature? Does he have a young spirit? (He calls it immaturity.) Is it a little bit of both, or is age really just a number, irrelevant once you hit a certain point? I definitely hope to spend more time with them in the future, which I don't think will be too hard.

So far today (I got in at 10.) I have spent most of my day trying to drown out screaming two year-olds. I have a headache!

Kids Say the Darnest Things!

2009-03-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

Many times when I tell people that I work in a Kindergarten/daycare, they want to hear stories. I know I have to have a lot, but I do not always remember them. Here are a few that happened yesterday:

One of the boys in my class woke up late from his nap, so when he woke up, I had him come to the table for a quick snack, and then we started working on a class art project (potato heads). It was not until he went on the computer, and I was closer to him, that I noticed he smelled like urine. I asked him if he had an accident. He told me n; his pants were wet but drying. I pulled him aside, told him that I was not mad at him but wanted to know if he had an accident. He told me "No. The water came when I was sleeping." When he was changing his shirt he also told me that he had to go into the bathroom because he "didn't want anyone to see him." His Mom took it as lying, but I thought it was cute.

On a not so cute side, one of the boys in my class asked one of the other girls (5) why she has a baby in her stomach. When I told him that she does not have a baby in her stomach, he asked me why she was so fat. I told him that she was not fat. Let's just say that kids are brutally honest, and I was the one lying.

The other day one of the kids brought up Michael Jackson, and one of the boys in my class (3) replies, "Michael Jackson is scary!"

The rain was nice on a Sunday, but it can go away any time now.

What to Do on a Rainy Day?

2009-03-08T18:56:00.000-07:00

Grrr... I stayed up late last night to post this entry only to discover that it not only did not post, but it also only saved about 1/6 of what I wrote.

I woke up yesterday morning, or shall I say afternoon, with the intention of going to the gym. (PS If Dominique wouldn't have called me at 11, who knows how long I would have slept.) Then, I heard the rain beating down on the roof and decided that it would be a much better idea to stay in my apt and be productive. The hard question was... What do I do? I am usually so "go, go, go" that it was hard for me to stay focused on any one task when I have a large amount of time. Throughout the day I did some laundry, downloaded music, tried to clean my room, went through papers, mail, etc, got some Bum Bar samples (http://www.luminouskitchens.com/lkproducts.html) delivered, picked up a few groceries, made an avocado sunflower sandwich spread and later a "creamy green salad dressing" and then met Lauren for dinner.

I dropped off the Bum Bars at two new places: All the Best on Devon St, where I picked up some of those strange ear wax candles that I've always wanted to try and licorice root tea and then New Leaf Grocery (www.NewLeafNatural.net ). Besides dinner with Lauren, my trip to New Leaf was my favorite part of the day. It reminds me of a store that I go to in Rockford called Choices Natural Market (www.choicesnaturalmarket.com) and Ethical Planet (http://www.ethicalplanet.com/) in Evanston. There I picked up some macaroni & cheese from Soul Vegetarian East (The best vegan mac&cheese I've had thus far.) and some cinnamon and sugar pita chips that I like to get when I am home. I also learned that New Leaf' provides an affordable alternative to overpriced organic produce by offering weekly organic produce boxes at the lowest cost available. You can buy one of just fruits, just vegetables or a mix of both, and inside each box you receive a couple of recipes related to the produce. What a great idea?! I think I will definitely have to sign up for that program.

Lauren and I met for dinner around 6:30 at House of Sushi and Noodles (http://www.houseofsushiandnoodles.com/). Even though it took me about 3 minutes to get there, and Tessa, my roommate, raves about the place, I had never been there. I am so glad she suggested it. The two of us hadn't seen each other in awhile, so it was really nice to catch up. At one point in our conversation she mentioned that I have changed a lot since my freshman year of college: Bri and I used to call Lauren our little hippie. Just the other week one of the parents at my school called me a "flower child." I took it as a compliment. Our meal started with miso soup, and I was craving seaweed salad. We shared two rolls: a new sweet potato maki and Tofu Tempura Maki: Tofu Tempura with Kampyo (a Japanese squash). I wish they would have had more than mochi ice cream as a dessert option, but no worries... I had one of my chocolate peanut butter brownies dipped in some hot soy milk. so good!

Back to Friday night: I ended up staying at Cristy and David's Friday night. It was so funny. They had to help this really drunk woman (Betty) get into her apartment when they got back. She came into the apartment and literally grabbed Parker out of my arms. She kept repeating "too much, too much." Cristy and I had no idea what was going on.

Luckily I had an umbrella Saturday morning because I walked out the door to have the wind blowing this crazy rain in my face. I don't know if I have raved about these yet via blog, but Lush (There's one in Water Tower.) has some Amazing products! I'm really into these new massage bars. Check them out http://www.lushusa.com/shop/products/body/massage-bars. That afternoon I had a vegan meet up lunch at Ras Dashen (http://www.rasdashenchicago.com/), an Ethiopian Restaurant. Dave, the organizer, asked me to come a little early and check people in. It always feels good to be a little more involved. Emily came, and it was so nice to see her. We spent most of the lunch catching up.

The menu included:
Komodoro salata – Diced tomato, cucumber, onion and jalapeno salad
Yeqaysur salata – Beet salad served chilled with a tangy dressing
Tikil gomen alicha – Mildly spiced cabbage, potato, and carrot stew
Gomen – Chopped kale, slow cooked with mild spices
Misser wat – Pureed red lentils in a spicy barbecue sauce
Kik alicha – Yellow split peas cooked with onions, garlic, ginger, and green peppers

The Ethiopian staple bread, injera, accompanied our meal and was used in lieu of eating utensils to scoop up the food. Injera is unique to Ethiopia and is made from teff, the smallest grain in the world. It’s a tangy, spongy, crepe-like flat bread that beautifully complements the food it is eaten with.

Before babysitting that night I stopped by Whole Foods to pick up a veggie tray, hummus and crackers (Carryn's request) and took it to the Dance Marathon dancers. (I can't believe it was a year ago that Caitlin and I danced 30 hours straight for Bear Necessities.) It was so nice to see some of the girls and take a small part in the 30 hours. Congratulations go to Carryn, Kay, Kim, Shannon, Ralitza, Kirsten, Katie Euphrat, Talia, Andrea... I know there's more!

While they raised a little less money this year than last year, $917,834 is remarkable! On the upside, they were up on dancers (750 in '08 and 1,000 in '09). This year's beneficiary was Project Kindle. Project Kindle's primary purpose is to provide cost-free camping programs, year round support and advocacy for children, young adults and families infected with or affected by HIV/AIDS and to offer innovative peer-based HIV/AIDS education for young people ages 12-24. Seeing all of that made me want to do something philanthropic soon. Maybe a race?

That's all for now... Back to work!

Proud of Myself

2009-03-06T18:07:00.001-08:00

Unlike last week, I feel like this week has been a little more meaningful for me. In addition to a couple days of spring-like weather, I started running again. On Sunday I ran a mile, 3 miles on Monday and 5 miles on Tuesday. I feel inspired to do it more. I actually woke up to work out, or go to yoga, every day this week. I started my own routine of keeping my ipod by my bed and putting my headphones on right when my alarm goes on. Right now I listen to this song called Better Day by India.Arie.

Last night at YEHA we did some awesome vision training. We made 3-day goals and 7-day goals based on some principles that I will have to add later. My 3-day goal is to pay a stranger a compliment each day. My 7-day goal is to practice Dahn Yoga in some capacity each day.

I feel like I had so much more to write, but now I feel at a loss for words. Right now I'm watching my friend Cristy's little guy Parker. He's been asleep since I got here about an hour ago. I came to visit the two of them this past Tuesday night, which was really nice. I had not seen them in a few weeks. Parker's getting so big! I can just watch him.

Wednesday night I made chocolate peanut butter brownies because I like to bake, and Melissa (one of my roommates) got into medical school- yea!! I brought them into work, and they went over well. :) I made blue banana muffins last night that I wasn't as crazy about.

Baths are Underrated

2009-03-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe how quickly last week flew by. Before I knew it, it was the weekend already. I can't think of anything incredibly noteworthy from the week, but my Mom came into town last Sunday. (I had not seen her since Christmas.) She had never had Indian food before so we grabbed lunch at Indian Garden Restaurant. Then, we made our way over to Navy Pier for its celebration of Black History Month which focused on 29 notable African-Americans, including Chicago's own Barack Obama. It was not a long exhibit, but it was nice to learn about so many remarkable individuals. For example, I did not know that an African-American man, Daniel Hale Williams, performed the first successful open heart surgery. I don't know how long it will be up, but check out the website: http://www.navypier.com/cal_events/bhm.html.

I don't think I have mentioned this yet, but my Mom started school a couple of weeks ago for massage therapy. For that reason, she could not get home too late. She had more studying to do. So, while the visit was short, I definitely enjoyed it and hope it happens again soon. We have both been so busy that we have not talked on the phone as much as we used to. During lunch it was funny to hear her talk about the differences between me and my sister (Monica). I guess I never napped as a child, and I constantly wanted someone to entertain me. Monica, on the other hand, slept a lot and was quite content to play on her own. My Mom said she used to hear Monica in her room talking as she used her imagination to play.

This past Friday night I went into Wicker Park to meet Grace for dinner. We had not seen each other since New Year's Eve. We grabbed dinner at restaurant named Handlebar (http://handlebarchicago.com/). Dinner was delicious. I ordered ground nut stew: sweet potato, coconut, zucchini & kale stew with brown rice, peanuts and toasted coconut. Grace decided on black beans maduro: crispy, sweet plantains layered with brown rice and beans with a side ofspicy chipotle-tomato sauce. There were more enticing dinner items, and their lunch/brunch sounds great too! We had great cnversation, which included the possibility of living together next year (+ Charlie and Emily).

On my way home I got the opportunity to catch up with Kathryn, who I had not talked to in a couple of weeks. I miss her!

It was a early wake-up for a Saturday... I had my alarm set for 6:45. I pretty much got out of bed, brushed my teeth and got clothes on to pick Deanna up for Hung Bo (advertising) at the Schaumburg Center. From 8:30-10ish a small group of us ran door-to-door with energy and love to pass out flyers. :) The time I spent doing this will help me pay for future retreats and trainings.

After Hung Bo we traveled over to West Suburban Hospital in Oak Park for an outreach event: we provided massages to breast cancer survivors through an organization called Sisters Embracing Life. It was kind of ironic because I received a lot of compliments, was asked how long I had been giving massages, and one guy even asked for my card. haha The event was scheduled 11:30-2, but we ended up massaging until after 4:30. We were all so hungry, so we stopped at Panera before driving home, but I was still pretty drained. On the way home I decided that a bubble bath sounded perfect. :) So I relaxed with a bath and finished Brain Wave Vibration, which helps explain my yoga practice. I need to take baths more often.I was in bed by 9 and slept soundly.

Yesterday, Sunday, I did some stuff around my apartment, went to the gym and then went over to Dominique's for "delivery and a movie." We watched Vicky Christina Barcelona. Penelope Cruz definitely did a fabulous job with her role, but I was not crazy about the movie. I am glad I saw it, but I don't feel like I need to see it again for awhile. We ordered dinner from a Thai/Japanese restaurant called Indie Cafe (www.indiecafe.us) near her apartment. I ordered tofu teriyaki, and she got chicken teriyaki. All in all, it was a good weekend. This week I hope to get everything turned into school. It's already March!

Continuing from the Last Blog

2009-02-20T20:55:00.000-08:00

More on the Retreat...

What took place: a lot of HUGGING, which is more powerful than a lot of people understand. Sometimes a hug is just what you need, regardless of who provides it. I was brought to tears numerous times, while on the retreat, after hugging people I mehad met only a few days ago. DANCING:We danced every day, and only once was it choreographed. Dancing is a great way to increase your energy and clear your mind. Don't think. Just move your body! MASSAGING: Everyday, at least once, we would get in lines and massage the person in front of us. It always felt fantastic. I felt sore in places I hadn't been sore in a long time.

A few of the take home messages: "When there's a will, there's a way." "Live in the moment." "Think positive." "Be true to yourself." "Let go of past pains."

This week I have fulfilled my vision thus far: I went to Dahn Yoga Center Tuesday night to sign-up for three months of classes and Shim Sung training, and I began classes Wednesday night and had YEHA Thursday night. Throughout the week I found myself using what I learned about myself to help my peers.

I was surprised at how well some of these people (that I just met) could read me this past weekend. One labeled me as the "communicator," which I think is very accurate. Chicago also performed a skit in which I played a witch. I channeled the wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz and had a blast. I had not been on a stage like that since middle school, but more than one person encouraged me to pursue something on stage. It felt so great to be complimented like that! :) I look forward to all that I am going to learn.

Trying to Explain

2009-02-18T11:26:00.000-08:00

I know that explaining my retreat to those who did not attend is difficult, but I want to talk about the aspects that I can explain.

The scenery/landscape: I had never been to Arizona before. All around me, on the exclusive Mago Garden Resort, were cacti, mountains, open sky and free roaming animals. I truly believe that more people need to take vacations to destinations such as Sedona. As one of my friends commented, if you are attempting to achieve enlightenment, it's difficult to do in the hustle and bustle of the city. Sedona is peaceful and truly breathtaking.

The people: I have never felt as loved and appreciated as I did on the retreat. I will be sure to blog more as a learn more, but basically YEHA (Young Earth Human Alliance) is the coalition young people practicing together to live with love for themselves, humanity, and the earth. So, on a fundamental level, we are all the same. During those 3 full days, I received more hugs and compliments than I had received in a very long time. I couldn't think of a greater group of people to be with over Valentine's Day Weekend.

Sedona, Here I Come!

2009-02-11T22:36:00.000-08:00

I will be waking up in a little more than 4 hours (My wonderful roommate Tessa is driving me.) to go to Midway. I should be already be asleep, but I feel like my Mom, and I'm waiting for that last load of laundry to finish. To be fair... I've had a busy week. Last night I went over to Ema and Lindsay's after work to say good bye to Anique. It was her last night in Chicago. She should currently be back in Ann Arbor, and then she's heading to California to visit Andre for a weekend.

I was really having a hard time comprehending that I won't see her for over a year (unless I go visit :). I definitely got a little choked up once I was actually leaving. She's done this once before though, and we are much better friends now. I have no doubt that we'll be friends forever.

Tonight after work I went to dinner with my co-worker/friend Emily. We went to Cousin's Incredible Vitality an all organic, vegan raw restaurant. I don't really know how to review it. The food wasn't bad, but I'm a person who likes to have a full stomach. For dinner we shared a 3 piece sampler of: thin crust mini flax pizzas (luscious pizzas made with almond cheese, creamymarinara, avocado, olive tapenaude, love and gratitude), sushi make (exotic nori rolled with miso paste, nut pate, avocado, sprouts, fun fillings, love and gratitude) and mujver (spiralized zuchini, walnuts, and chives; toasted withcreamy cashew mayo; spiced with mild curry, love and gratitude) and a "ravioli." I laughed to learn that we both felt the same about raw carrot cheesecake dessert: we were thinking about baked goods. haha

For those of you who want to know a little more about my retreat, here's the light schedule:
12th: 7:30 Orientation Training: Begin awakening your body and mind with deep stretching

13th Morning: Deep training for power and centering Afternoon: The Journey of ChunHwa: Journey through 5 stations in Mago Garden representing the circle of life and the completion of the sole, Meditate on the meaning of life and overcome limitations, strengthen power internally, and let the purest you burst forth. Evening: Dancing and deep training for heart opening and connection with the soul and Cosmic Energy,

14th: Morning: Chunjikuin Training (I have no idea what that is.) Afternoon: Vision Sword Training Vision Presentations: explore trainings and jobs to continue developing yourself after the camp for your personal goals. Evening: Festival: Demonstrations and skits from each region

15th: Morning: Vision Meditation: Make your dreams and goals clear to keep the awakenings you got.

It's been a great past week, so I think this will only make it better. :)

Sippin' on Some Tea

2009-02-09T21:15:00.001-08:00

medicinal tea that is... I can't say that it's delicious, but I can't say that it's the worst drink I've ever tasted either. However, there is more of it than I would like. My stomach has been a little uneasy lately, so there's peppermint in there, which I think helps. Otherwise it tastes like I feel boiled tree bark, willows, etc. would taste- a little smokey. I got it after going to my first acupuncture treatment tonight. Luck would have it that I got a sinus infection recently, so to the question of "Where did I get my acupuncture?"A: I got a handful of needles in my face and toward the back of my head, and it felt awesome! It only hurt a bit. Otherwise it relieved some of my sinus pressure.

My digestion's also been a little off, and my stomach's been nauseous, so I got a few needles in my abdominal area. I learned that you can't have needles in too many areas at once, because the body won't know how to respond. So, instead, you focus on a few issues at once. Once all of the needles were inserted, acupuncturist team turned the lights off, lit a few candles and left me to relax. I could feel the qi flowing through those areas. Alexa described it as "groovy." :) To top it all off, I told them that my shoulders had been tense with stress and sickness, so I got a quick shoulder massage before I left.

My co-worker asked me what all acupuncture can be used for, and I was not entirely sure. Then, I found on PCOM's website the following list:

Cardiovascular Disorders
Essential hypertension

Neurological Disorders
Headache and migraine
Trigeminal neuralgia
Facial palsy (early stage, within three to six months)
Paresis following stroke
Peripheral neuropathies
Meniere’s Disease
Nocturnal enuresis
Cervicobrachial syndrome
Neurogenic bladder dysfunction
Intercostal neuralgia
Disc problems

Musculo-skeletal Disorders
Muscle pain, swelling, stiffness and weakness
Localized traumatic injuries, sprains, strains, tendonitis, contractures
Arthritis
Fibromyalgia
Work and sports related injuries
Low back pain
Osteoarthritis“Frozen shoulder”, “tennis elbow”
Sciatica

Respiratory System Disorders
Acute sinusitis
Acute rhinitis
Common cold
Acute tonsillitis
Acute bronchitis
Bronchial asthma

Disorders of the Eye, Ear, Nose & Mouth
Acute conjunctivitis
Central retinitis
Myopia (in children)
Cataract (without complications)
Toothaches, post extraction pain
Gingivitis
Acute and chronic pharyngitis

Gastrointestinal Disorders
Spasms of esophagus and cardia
Irritable bowel and colitis
Hiccough
Gastroptosis
Acute and chronic gastritis
Gastric hyperacidity
Chronic duodenal ulcer (pain relief)
Acute duodenal ulcer (without complication)
Acute and chronic colitis
Constipation
Diarrhea
Acute bacillary dysentery
Paralytic ileus

Gynecological Disorders
Infertility (Not WHO recognized. Clinical experience proves effective.)
PMS
Dysmenorrhea
Menopause syndrome
Benign irregular menstruation
Benign amenorrhea

Psychological Disorders
Depression
Anxiety
OCD
PTSD
Somatization disorder
Hypersomnia
Insomnia

Other Disorders
Withdrawal from street and pharmacological drugs
Appetite suppression

Cool huh? The psychological orders really interest me. So yeah... I'm not sure if I'll be able to answer a ton, but shoot me questions. :) 60+ degrees tomorrow. Woot, woot!

All Smiles

2009-02-07T20:29:00.000-08:00

So when I was out and about running errands today (in my fleece), the temperature on the bank read 56 degrees F, and I bet the temperature reached higher. Don't get me wrong, it was definitely windy, but it was a Spring, Easter-like breeze. It felt fantastic. I had my ipod on; my hair was blowing in my face, and I felt more alive than I have in awhile. My morning started with some yoga, followed by the joys of the warm weather while running errands. Then, I got my hair cut by one of the Moms at my school. I ended up cutting it short again, and I really like it. New season; new hair. From there I went to a sweet potluck vegan meet-up at Timber Lanes. It was pretty crazy. 100 people RSVPd which translates into 100 different dishes up for trying. I definitely left on a full stomach. From there I came into Evanston to babysit for the night. Tomorrow morning my Mom's coming into town, and I am really looking forward to spending the day with her.

I sat in on my class Thursday morning, and I am still feeling good about my decision to pursue a Masters in Traditional Oriental Medicine. Next up: acupuncture on Monday. I can't wait to write about it.

Free Fallin

2009-02-04T19:33:00.001-08:00

Oh how I love that song (almost as much as I love Pandora)!

I can't believe tomorrow's already Thursday. Even though I feel as though the days can't go any slower at times, the weeks really do fly by pretty quickly. In almost a week exactly, I will be heading out to Sedona, AZ for my retreat. :) Boy am I in need! It may be little "Anna's" last week, but she continues to make it as hellish as possible. One might think that trying to just accommodate her would make things easier. Not so much. She's been giving me, and the rest of the class, a tough time. She won't go down without some more fight.

So Monday my stomach was still feeling awful. I stopped by Whole Foods before work to pick up saltines and "ginger brew." A guy who works there told me that peppermint oil eases nauseous stomachs, so I went back to my place to pick up some of that as well. Obviously I am into the home remedy stuff, but drinking that made me shake. yuck! Dominique came back from her lunch break to find me laying on the floor; I didn't think I would make it through the day. My stomach oscillated between being in a ton of pain and feeling like I was going to lose it all (aka nothing bc I hadn't eaten in a couple of days). I went to the break room on my lunch and fell asleep on the floor, wrapped up in my jacket and woke up feeling a little better. See... There are multiple uses for "sleepingbag coats."

I felt better yesterday, but I started feeling sick again today. However, this time it's a cough, sore muscles (I feel like a shoulder/neck massage would be so fantastic right now.), runny nose and exhaustion. It's not hard to believe with the number of sick kids coughing on me every single day. I should be asleep right now, but I am a sucker when it comes to checking my e-mails, reading blogs, etc. at night. Tomorrow morning I am sitting in on a class, Fundamentals of Traditional Oriental Medicine, and meeting with an academic advisor at the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine. I am excited. I just wish the class was a little later. haha Alright, I should get to bed.

Super Bowl Sunday!

2009-02-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

Today ended up being much different than I expected it to be. It was nice outside (I was outside without having my head covered!), so I wanted to be out and about and run some errands. I didn't even know if I would watch the Super Bowl. However, around 1 I started feeling really sick to my stomach, so I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch and watched some tv before switching over to the Super Bowl Pre-game. From the beginning, I wasn't sure who I wanted to win; I have good friends with ties to both teams. Once the Cardinals lost though, I felt bad, especially with the way it happened. I wish Warner would have at least had a hail Mary in the end zone. The Steelers did break records for the most wins in franchise history and the youngest coach to win a Super Bowl, which is pretty cool.

Is tomorrow really Mon already?

Staying on Track

2009-01-31T19:50:00.001-08:00

This morning I went to an open house at the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine, and I am still still feeling good about this possible career path. I didn't realize there was a schedule to the open house, so I was sad to find out that I missed the professor that spoke about her work with Chinese herbs. I did however get to hear from other professors in the areas of acupuncture , qi gong (at type of synchronized movement) and tai ji. At the end of the open house I even received oratory acupuncture (on my ear). I have to admit that it hurts a little at first but feels good shortly after. With the open house I received a coupon for a free assessment and acupuncture treatment. I scheduled that for next Monday;Thursday I am sitting in on a class and meeting with one of the academic advisers.

After the open house I came into Evanston to meet with Jess, who I have not caught up with in a long time, and now I am babysitting in Evanston. In general my week had its ups and its downs. On Tuesday I was feeling so fed up with work. I called my grandma on my lunch break and told her that I "couldn't do it anymore" and wanted to quit. Her response, "I really don't know what to tell you." I know it's hard because it would not at all be practical for me to quit my job; I may not make it financially. My boss wasn't there to talk to that day, but the week got better as my ipod bid won on ebay on Wednesday. The night I also talked to my boss after work (6:30) and did not leave her office until 9:30!!

It was such a necessary conversation with her and my co-worker. As a result of the conversation, I am coming in an hour later. She knows about my plans for school and supports me 100%. One of our students has been asked to leave and she plans to talk to a few other parents. She wants me to only work with the Kindergartners. She talked about not letting work be my life, about being young and always pursuing things that I love. etc. As I try and type it all out, I'm not entirely sure how the conversation lasted three hours. The day after our conversation, the student that we had already planned to ask to leave said to another one, "Tomorrow I am going to bring a knife to school and cut your head off." Yes, one of my five year-olds said this. Unbelievable! Her Mom did not pick her up that day, but we had a meeting with her last night as we emphasized that this child receives some psychological help ASAP!!

Yesterday was also my director's birthday. Last Sunday I went to a free class at Whole Foods on Raw Foods (and bought a cookbook, but that's another story). My director likes sweets but also likes to be healthy, so I made her a raw "brownie." I didn't have enough ingredients to have one myself, but I did try a little. It was so simple and really pretty healthy: walnuts, dates, cocoa powder, a pinch of salt and a but of vanilla. I also bought her a relaxation candle to go in big gift basket that the staff put together for her. A few of us took her to Uncle Julio's last night for dinner. I got these delicious vegetable fajitas: roasted potatoes, onions red and poblano peppers, mesquite grilled yellow squash, zucchini and portobello mushrooms, served with black beans and our warm flour tortillas. (I definitely had some for lunch today and will have some more tomorrow.) Speaking of tomorrow... It's the Super Bowl, and I haven't even made any plans.

Is This Really Happening?!

2009-01-24T18:46:00.000-08:00

I cannot stop smiling. :) I think I know what I want to do with my life!! Today I met with Libby at the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine (http://www.pacificcollege.edu/). In talking with her, and her friend Sonora for almost three hours, I learned that a Master of Science (Traditional Oriental Medicine) combines my interests in medicine,psychology, nutrition, education and cooking. There are also three campuses: New York City, Chicago and San Diego. So in summary, I plan to go to medical school, but it's Oriental/Eastern medical school. It just all came together, and I don't think it could have come at a better time. Work has really been getting me down lately and spilling into other aspects of my life.

For example, last night I was not really looking forward to going over to my friends' house warming party. How sad is that?! It's kind of funny looking back on it now: I drove there, but it's only permit parking around their place. Then, when I drove back, I somehow couldn't get over the snow drift back into the garage (even though I got out). So I parked on some random side street, went back upstairs to get cab money for later and walked there. It ended up being a great time: a group of us went in a side room, totally isolated from the "party", and caught up. I didn't get home until after 1AM: so late for me!

So back to today... I talked with my Mom just a little while ago, and she has been looking into going back to school for massage therapy. We are both in the same place right now when it comes to not liking our jobs and wanting something more fulfilling out of life. So who knows what will happen in the future with both of us pursuing careers in Eastern medicine?! I would love to open a place with yoga, massage therapy, acupuncture and anything else that falls into this realm of goodness. I also foresee myself trying to educate a younger population. This sounds so corny, but I feel so good right now, so grateful. :)

The Prettiest Face You've Ever Seen?!

2009-01-22T11:53:00.000-08:00

Haha... It's the nicest thing I've heard in awhile: Wednesday night, after going out for Thai with my co-worker/friend Emily, a man on the street says to me, "Excuse me mam. I'm sorry, but you have the most beautiful face I have ever seen." I laugh and tell him that he just made my day. It's pretty amazing how a stranger's kind words can boost the way you feel about yourself. :)

I need to remind myself of events like those because I have not been too happy lately. At times I tell myself that I'm making too big a deal out of nothing, but on the other hand, I cannot help the way I feel. At first I thought I couldn't get out of bed in the mornings to hit the gym because it is cold, and I was unmotivated. However, after thinking about it more, I believe I have trouble getting out of the bed because I don't want to start my day in general: After I go to the gym, I have to get ready toand go into work.

I'm proud of how busy I've kept myself during the week: Monday night I met my friend Gail for dinner. Tuesday night I babysat in Evanston and then met up with Carryn. Wednesday night I had dinner with Emily. Regardless I end up going home at night feeling rather unhappy. Last night was better though. I went to YEHA (Young Earth Human Alliance). YEHA is a class I've only been to twice, but I was invited to go to Sedona, AZ for an "Empowerment Camp" February 12th-15th and have decided to take them up on the offer. I am so excited and have been needing something like this to look forward to.

More to come... Back to the kids! :(

Getting Excited!

2009-01-19T08:22:00.001-08:00

After talking to a few of my closest friends (Caitlin and Lauren) this past week, I have become very excited about the prospects of going back to school for nursing. Just this morning I requested information from about 10 different schools! Surprisingly none of these accelerated BSN programs exist in Chicago, which means I will be moving somewhere new (unless I decide to do a regular, not accelerated program). The thought of moving someplace new for a year or so excites me! Some of the these schools include: Villanova, NYU, UPenn and University of Michigan. Now will begin the process of sifting through prerequisites, lengths of programs, costs, start dates, etc.

This weekend wasn't anything too exciting... I was actually "all star babysitter." I babysat Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday morning. I made some extra money, which is always nice to have. The extra money, combined with Caitlin getting out of the hospital on Saturday and having today off has caused me to be in a better mood than I have been recently. Work has been getting more and more frustrating for me lately. With travel time I am committing myself to work 8:30-7ish Mon-Friday. I want more free time to get on top of stuff for school, to volunteer more, to have more time for myself. It would be hard to leave my current job, but I think it will need to happen in the near future. If not, I won't have much room for growth.

Oh yeah... I watched this really cute, inspiring movie last night: The Ultimate Gift. I recommend it. Happy MLK Day everyone. :)

Cold and Sick of It!

2009-01-13T12:20:00.001-08:00

Honestly... I cannot stop thinking about sundresses, warm weather and green grass! Too bad it's only January. :( Regardless of the cold, the week is going by rather quickly. I like to think that making plans during weekday evenings helps. Monday evening was nothing special, but last night Ashley picked me up from work, and we went to the Chicago Diner for dinner. I had been there once before. I was told that they have awesome " radical reuben"s (Sliced seitan, onions, peppers, sauerkraut, vegan thousand island dressing, cheese, on marbled rye), so that's what I ordered with a side of sweet potato fries. Macaroni and cheese sounded good too, so I got a side of that. The sandwich was very good; I liked the sweet potato fries; I didn't like the macaroni and cheese. Ashley ordered the sweet potato quesadilla (spinach tortilla with grilled chickin seitan, spiced black beans, mashed sweet potatoes, cheese & spinach). I definitely tried a bite- unique and tasty! After dinner we shared the cocoa mousse cake (chocolate layer cake with creamy mousse filling & rich frosting, topped with chocolate ganache.) There was nothing left. :) We both agreed that there are a lot of options, and the food is good, but the service isn't the greatest. Looking at the menu again today, there is still a lot of food I want to try, so I would go back, but I won't expect too much. After dinner I made a new black bean salad for a potluck dinner tonight at Lauren's apt.

I'm excited to see her and her roommates. I am all bundled up today and ready to face the snow!

Still in Shock...

2009-01-10T19:31:00.000-08:00

This morning I received a call from one of my closest friends (Caitlin). At the time of the call she was in the emergency room in Boulder, CO. Last night she was in excruciating pain and had trouble breathing. After a trip to the ER, she learned that she had a pulmonary embolism-blockage of the pulmonary artery, which caries blood from the heart to the lungs, or one of its branches, usually occurring when a blood clot from a vein becomes dislodged from its site of formation and migrates to the arterial blood supply of one of the lungs. Symptoms include difficulty breathing, pain in the chest, or in severe cases collapse, circulatory instability or sudden death. (Wikipedia.) This caused half of a lung to stop functioning.

If Rob would not have taken her to the hospital, I'm worried that Caitlin would have tried to tough it out. (She's that kind of girl.) I feel so grateful for him and that she is doing better. She is still going to be in the hospital for further testing this week, and the doctors told her that she will have to take blood thinners. This means she needs to avoid any possible damage to her head (aka no soccer, no skiing). She told me for forever, but I hope that changes. If you're like me, you are wondering what caused this? The answer: birth control. Isn't that crazy?! For awhile she did smoke too, which I guess increases chances of clotting.

So yeah. I'm still in shock about hearing this news. I wish Colorado was more accessible so that I could visit her. It definitely made me open my eyes to what's important in life/what I want to do and accomplish. I think I need to write some of that stuff down. (I will keep you posted on what I come up with, but off the top of my head, I know that being certified as a yoga instructor and traveling to Africa, Australia and Spain are high up there.)

Today was not the most eventful day for me, but I did get stuff accomplished, which is always nice. I am babysitting early tomorrow morning and then plan to see Dave, Cristy and Parker.

Back to my week: Tuesday night I went over to Lindsay and Ema's apartment after work. It's kind of embarrassing how close they live; yet, I had not been over there yet. Lindsay and I exchanged Christmas gifts: she made me a cd of photos and videos from our European adventures and these cute reusable hand warmers. How could have thought of a better Chicago gift?

Wednesday night was dinner with Lindsay Rathert. (I had not seen her since before graduation.) We met at Hai Yen, a Vietnamese restaurant. We shared delicious Goi Cuon Chay: rolls filled with seasoned tofu, shitake mushroom, vermicelli noodles, lettuce, fresh herbs, and bean sprouts; served with a homemade peanut sauce. The peanut sauce was so flavorful, and they were filling. For an entree I ordered Ca Tim: fresh Japanese eggplant stir fried with tofu, garlic and onions in a mild spicy sauce. It had just enough spice and addicting flavor. I think I will definitely crave it in the future.

On Thursday night I finally stepped out of my comfort zone and went to Dahn Yoga Center for YEHA: Young Earth Human Alliance. It's hard to explain the class because it changes every week. This week focused on creativity, and we did some great exercises: drawing to music, making pictures out of typical shapes, having to rename standard household objects and giving them a new function and lastly, making a poem out of our meditation. In my group, we came up with:

Enjoy Life Together
Stillness Here Birds Quietness
Water Peace Love Laughter
Warmth Friends & Family Sunshine
Cloudy Cool Breeze Rain
Warmth Lush green meadow
Happiness

Shoot... I need to get to bed. Tomorrow morning will come soon.

Someone Upstairs is Looking Out for Me

2009-01-08T11:51:00.000-08:00

Grr... How does this always happen? I mean to write more often than I actually do.

The reason for my title is very embarassing to me: I got to the bus stop Wednesday morning, opened my bag to get out my CTA card and did not have it. I was annoyed that I had to go back to my apt but felt positive that I would find my wallet on the floor, among the mess. However, when I got home, I could not find it. I ended up driving to work. My bank accounts were all okay, but it did not mean that it was easy for me to go about my day not thinking about it.

Just to retrace my stops I thought I would go to the Sheridan el station. (I took the train over to Lindsay and Ema's the previous night.) It was not turned in there, but the gentleman working told me to call the lost and found at Howard. To my surprise... Someone had turned it in. I'm still not entirely sure how I lost it, and I don't know why I tend to have this problem of losing things. I've been lucky to have a cell phone or two returned to me, in addition to this wallet. It'd be one thing if I had an excuse (ie I was drunk.), but I don't really. I think I was talking to a parent and did not hear my wallet drop.

The woman and the lost and found told me that she would be at Howard until 11, so I headed in that direction after work. I was fortunate to have all of my credit/debit cards and cash in my wallet, but my loose change and good number of gift cards (4 Visas, Panera, Starbucks and Subway). Even though that frustrates me, I am grateful to have back the necessities. I guess the person doesn't like Macy's because they did not touch that gift card.

I ended the night with a delicious dinner with Lindsay Rathert. (More to come later!)

Happy New Year! (01/01)

2009-01-01T20:03:00.000-08:00

As I wrote in my last post, I am not crazy about celebrating New Year's Eve, but I do like the thought of a new year, a fresh start (just like I love the start of a new school year or new semester). After sleeping in this morning I came home and went on a mad cleaning/organizing spree: washing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, organizing mail, etc. I can't believe it's already 10PM. I am happy to know that I have the next three days off of work. I think I am going to need it going into a full five day week on Monday.

Last night was nothing like my last New Year's Eve (I blacked out in all-inclusive Riviera Maya with my sister.), but it was really nice. After trying to find a parking spot for 30+ minutes, I got to Grace and Charlie's around 10. Charlie recently got a puppy named Gryffin, who greeted me at the door-so cute! It was nice to catch up with everyone (Grace, Charlie, Jess, Brian, Ryan, Pat and Doug), It had been awhile. I also met some of Charlie's friends from Truman. We did the official countdown and champagne toast at midnight, but my fellow working friends and I were all in bed by 2.

Blogging Before Bed!

2008-12-30T19:31:00.000-08:00

I am still amazed at how quickly the week of Christmas flew by and can't really believe that tomorrow is New Year's Eve! For the "big night" (I think New Year's is overrated.) I am going over to Grace and Charlie's apartment, which I am excited about. I have not seen the two of them in awhile, and to me it is the perfect way for me to spend NYE.

I am going to write about some of my favorite parts of break:

Of course there are always the presents (given and received). I was lucky and received a good number of credit card gift cards from parents at work, in addition to a Whole Foods, a Macy's and a Starbucks gift card, chocolates, a "stress free" bath set from Bath & Body Works, a pretty bracelet and Victoria's Secret perfume + a week's paid vacation from my boss. Most of my family members give me money, but with (a lot of) help from me (I made my Mom a list.), I was very happy with my Christmas presents from my parents. I got a juicer, a mixer, a cutting board and a nice garlic press for the kitchen. (Can you tell just how much cooking has become a part of my life?!) The juicer is Amazing! The other morning I made my sister and myself mango surprise: mango, kiwi and carrot juice, and this morning I made a carrot, ginger, apple juice. My GARMIN (GPS for my car) tied for favorite gift. Not only does it get me from one place to another, I can search for restaurants, shopping, public trans, etc. nearby. I also got a lot of socks (typical), a one hour massage gift certificate and some makeup. I think that's everything. Sarah got me a new cookbook: The Complete Idiot's Guide: Vegan Cooking, and Monica picked up a few new shirts for me post-Christmas. :)

I got a lot of people in my family "Between Me and You" journals. I thought they were such a cool idea; I just hope that I get them all back! (http://www.journalsunlimited.com/). From the same store, Flourish Studios (http://www.icanflourish.com/), I bought a lot of my friends rings that support the Putton Project (aka Buttons for Peace Project) in which proceeds go to Dr. Jane Goodall's Roots and Shoots Program. I know I do not have a lot of extra money to donate right now, but I thought it was a nice way to give gifts while being charitable. Picture frames are always popular as are my homemade, organic lavender bath salts. (I just love making things!)

On Christmas Eve I spent six straight hours in the kitchen. For our appetizer Christmas Eve that night, I brought some homemade hummus, stuffed mushrooms and spinach artichoke dip. For Christmas dinner I made a "sweet polenta pie," scalloped corn, an eggnog cheesecake (with a homemade graham cracker crust) and a chocolate bourbon pecan pie. In How It All Vegan, the authors describe this pie as "better than sex pie," and I must say that it was definitely my favorite new recipe! :)

My sister came back to Chicago with me on Saturday. After many days of sub zero temperatures, the drive included dense fog and a lot of pouring rain on a nearly sixty degree day.
We grabbed a late lunch at Pho's Thai Cuisine, which is very close to my place, and then we headed downtown. Isn't it funny how you can never find anything for yourself when you actually have the intention to go shopping? The first part of our trip in Forever 21 was very thorough for me, but as time passed, I was too overwhelmed and could not do it it anymore. After awhile we just relaxed with some tea from Teavanna and awaited for hunger to strike: we were downtown, so we figured we should go somewhere good. In the end, we decided on late dinner at Reza's, which offers Persian, Middle-Eastern,and Mediterranean cuisine. We split an appetizer of Vegetarian Shami (Savory patties of minced green vegetables, coated with chickpeas delicately sautéed, served with delicious sweet and sour pomegranate sauce with finely crushed walnuts). It was very good, especially the sauce, which we both used for our table pita bread. She ordered sea scallops for dinner, and I chose a vegetarian sampler which included Couscous,Tabbouli, Falafel, Hummus, Baba Ghannouj, and Dolmeh. I ended up taking a lot of it home with me.

Alright... my eyes are hurting. More to come later!

Thank God it's Friday!

2008-12-19T12:34:00.000-08:00

Since entering the work world, I feel that I have begun to appreciate Fridays even more than I used to. As most of you know, today is not only the last day of my work week, it signals the start of my week-long Christmas vacation!! I head out sometime tomorrow.

While a lot of times I blog about my frustrations at work, I do also have some great stories (like the one when I called Santa), and I want to quickly share a few more with you.

Yesterday the kids were working on their writing by making out Christmas lists. One of the boys told me that he wanted a "tuv." Immediately a puzzled look came over my face, and I asked him, "What's a tuv?" He responded, "a thing that you take a hot bath in." "Oohhh!" I said and went to the chalkboard to spell hot tub for this Kindergartner's list.

Later that day one of the other little boys (4) asked me how Jesus flew to heaven. Initially I froze and did not know how to respond except, "That's a good question!" After thinking for a few moments, I asked him if he knew that there are good ghosts. When he said yes, I told him that it was Jesus' "good ghost," his spirit, that went up to heaven- not his actually body. He was satisfied with that answer and did not ask any further questions. That same child told me that his full belly had a baby in it the other day.

The other day when our class was practicing I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, one f my students asked me how to ship a hippopotamus. (This boy is always thinking!)

A short errand tonight, some packing and then I just want to relax. It's been a busy week!

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

2008-12-17T11:50:00.000-08:00

That song did not make the list, but the kids will be singing Jingle Bells, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Feliz Navidad later this afternoon. Then, there is tomorrow and Friday until I have a weeklong, much needed, break.

I have not had much free time recently. Monday night Dominique and I went to a special sneak peek of Adam Sandler's new movie Bedtime Stories. I definitely would not pay to see the movie: it was fun to do on a Monday night, but I was neither of us were that into it. I miss his earlier movies like Happy Gilmore and The Wedding Singer. Last night I took home one of the little girls from the preschool side and babysat her until about 11:30PM.

I want to talk about my Sunday before it's too late. I woke up that morning in time to do a boot camp class at 11. It felt so good because I definitely have not had as much time to go the gym recently as I usually do. Fortunately it was a rather nice winter day, almost 50 degrees! I met Lauren downtown around 2, and we went shopping. I have so many people on my list that it was a bit overwhelming to shop. I did, however, pick up a scarf for one of my co-workers and a Lush bath fizz for Cristy. After some shopping I finally got in a visit with David, Cristy and Parker. It is always so good to see them. Little Parker slept on my lap for most of the time that I was there. I got there aaround 5 and didn't leave until like 10 or 10:30. Before going to bed I made a delicious corn and potato chowder for the week. Homemade soups are the best!

Shoot... My lunch break is over!

If it Weren't for My Friends and Family,

2008-12-15T11:37:00.000-08:00

I honestly might consider leaving Chicago. Don't get me wrong, it is a fantastic city, but these teen temperature days are very hard for me to deal with!

It's been awhile since I last blogged because my computer is down again! I think it may just be time for a new one! Friday was my friend/co-worker Dominiqe's Birthday. Since she is new to the city, I wanted to make sure that it was really special. I brought her a a birthday card, princess tiara and white chocolate mocha (her fav) to work Friday morning. Out director ordered pizza and cake for everyone. That night we went to dinner downtown at Quartino (Ristorante, Pizzeria and Wine Bar), which was a recommendation from one of our parents at the school. It is known for authentic Italian pizza and small plates. After our long week we ordered a pitcher of sangria. Then, Dominique ordered grilled organic veal skirt steak, and I got gnocchi with green beans, potatoes and arugula pesto. While we do know each other from work, which we talk about a good amount, is was nice to shift conversation away from work and the kids and talk about other aspects of our lives. We were both tired from the week post-dinner and headed home.

No matter how much I drink, I never feel good the next day. Therefore, it took me awhile to get out of the house on Saturday. I ran a few errands and did a little shopping before I babysat that night in Evanston. The family gave me a little extra for the holidays, which is so sweet! The girls that I babysat for are incredibly easy. The power going out halfway through the night made it a little interesting, but luckily the two youngest ones were already asleep.

Time to get back to work, but I will right about Sunday asap.

Tea inspiration of the day: "Love what is ahead by loving what has come before."

Tea Inspiration

2008-12-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

Not only does Yogi Tea have some delicious teas, I like the inspirational quotes that dangle down the side of my mug when I consume it. Today my tag says, "The universe is the stage on which you dance, guided by your heart." To me they are kind of like fortune cookies cookies, except I get them everyday.

Today was a rough, chaotic day for me. I had finally had it at work and broke down momentarily. (By breakdown I am referring to a couple of tears. It could have been worse!) For those of you who follow my blog, I talk about "Anna" a lot. Well, mostly I talk about the abuse I put up with. In the beginning of my job, things were tough. Then, I saw an improvement. Now, I think things are worse than they ever were before. I know she is only four years-old, but I have been physically abused in same way or another for I would guess five days straight. I feel as though I have tried everything with her: bribes, threats, loss of privileges, notes home, talks with her mom... Yet, nothing seems to change. When you ask her to do something, she often responds with a loud "no!" She merely smiles when she gets into trouble or hurts another person; she throws tantrums when she does not get her way, and the littlest remarks can set her off. While my psych background does not enable me to "treat" her, I definitely believe that she has some sort of personality disorder and needs help. I know most personality disorders are not diagnosed until later, but she reminds me of someone with antisocial personality disorder.

I am not entirely sure why today was the breaking point. Am I frustrated because I feel like I have tried everything? Is it because I know there is nothing else I can do for this child: while she makes me so angry, there is something off in her body? Does my heart break because I am seeing, for possibly the first time, how psychological disorders manifest themselves at such a young age?Is it because I know the group dynamics of the class would be far better off without her? When I arrived at the school, and came face-to-face with her and her issues, I wanted to help her. I do not think she can be helped though. I talked to my director before lunch, and "Anna" has been suspended for the next couple of days. Her Mom does not know this yet, but she will also be told that she cannot return after the first of the year.

I have watched this little girl one-on-one before. I have been showered with her hugs, kisses and "I love you!"s. She has drawn me pictures and told me countless stories that make me smile, and I am so worried about her future. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to come to the realization/accept that your child needs psychological help. Yes, her Mom is young, single and busy with work and school, but these factors cannot explain why her daughter behaves this way.

Work has been taking such a tole on me that I was in bed by 9PM last night. I walked into my apartment, sat on the couch with my roommates and only got up so I could pack my lunch for the next day. I did not even eat dinner last night- very out of character! I figured I would wake up early this morning, but I only struggled when my alarm sounded at 6:30AM. I babysat after work tonight, which is where I am now. Luckily, it was an easy night before the little boy went to bed about 30 minutes after I arrived.

From the events that transpired today, I have been thinking a lot about the role of stress in the workforce. Whatever I end up deciding to pursue in my life, I do not want to get to this point where I feel so exhausted (I was supposed to get to dinner with Grace last night but did not have the energy to leave my house.) and end up crying at work. Then I also start to wonder: Is it the transition to the "work world" that makes me feel this way, or is it this job in particular? If anyone has any feedback, I would love to hear it!

Run Like the Wind

2008-12-10T11:56:00.000-08:00

Hmmm... This was supposed to post yesterday (Wednesday).

I had been encouraged awhile back to try and write in my blog every day, even if it is something small. So here is what I've got in about ten minutes.

Today is my Mom's Birthday. My Dad called to remind me this morning. If he hadn't, I'm not sure when I would have realized. I can't shake off how bad I feel about that. I am usually so good with birthdays, but for some reason I did not write it on my calendar. Now I need to find the ultimate gift! I am thinking a nice necklace.

I got my computer back yesterday, which was a relief. My roommates have been great about letting me use their computers, but it is always nice to have your own. This has never really happened to me before, but last night I got the urge to workout late at night. I left my apartment at 9:30 and did not get home until after 11. I felt an energy about me that I never usually feel at night. I was motivated, and after awhile, I felt like running. I am not usually in the mood to run, so I really appreciated the pre-bed endorphins that I got last night fom some sprints. I definitely slept well!

There are only 15 days until Christmas, and I NEED to get going on my gift purchasing. I do not have anything as of yet, I hope to get a lot accomplished this weekend.

I Can't Take the Abuse Anymore!

2008-12-08T17:44:00.000-08:00

This is the third day in a row that I have been abused by "Anna." I try to acknowledge her good behavior, so I gave her a sucker when she followed my directions this afternoon. I told her that if she did not maintain the good behavior, the sucker would go in the garbage. Surprise... She started misbehaving. I took her sucker away and threw it in the garbage. She threw her typical tantrum and so I told her to go in the other room so that I could talk to her. As I turned my back to make note of the incident, I felt a huge smack on my back. It was her. I walked her into the other room as the director came entered. I'm pretty sure she's been stressed out lately, but she told me that she is "not going to do this anymore." When Anna's grandfather picked her up, I had to tell him that she has two weeks two improve her behavior. Also, if she starts screaming tomorrow (like she did today), she will be sent home. It was had news to deliver, but I think it was about time. The classroom would seriously be very different, in a good way, if her behavior improved. There was one point today when I did not really know what else to do. We have threatened her; we have tried to reward her, but I think her needs are beyond my qualifications... She needs professional help!

In other news, I still do not have my computer back, which makes updating my blog frequently difficult. I guess I'll talk about my weekend. I babysat in Evanston Friday night. I left work a little early and got into E-town around 6:30. It ended up being a short night: 10:30. I considered taking the train home, but they thought it would be a better idea if I stayed in Evanston. I ended up on Carryn's doorstep, thinking I was going to read a book 'til I fell asleep. It turns out that she got a solid draft of her paper, and we went over to a holiday party (at 1943). It was so nice to see some people that I had not seen in awhile. That is one thing I definitely miss about the "real world": having my close friends so easily accessible. (And I used to think that it was hard to get together with people. It's a whole new world now.)

Early Saturday afternoon I stopped by Camp Kesem's reunion. Sadly most of the kids attended camp this year, which I did not. For those of you who have never heard about Camp Kesem, it is a week-long camp for children who have/had a parent with cancer. I was involved in Camp Kesem all four years at Northwestern and even spent my junior year as a co-chair. Upon arriving back at home I spent the rest of the day baking and preparing for the "Merry Barry Holiday Party" at my apartment. I made carmel corn and fudge and baked some chocolate chip pecan cookies. They all went over well! :) In addition to my goodies, Melissa made red velvet cupcakes, and there was plenty of holiday m&ms, Hershey kisses and rolos. Holiday spirits included "jingle juice," "peppermint patty" shots and "reindeer rum," which was apple cider spiked with rum. For the most part I had a good turn out by my friends, but there were a few that did not come, which made me sad. Here's a special thanks to Anique, Ashley, Marissa and Dominique! For the rest of you... You missed a good time. Once my computer is up and going I hope to have new pictures posted.

I slept in late on Sunday. Once I got up I wanted to go shopping downtown, but the cold weather and slight hangover was a deterrent. I watched the Bears game and laid around. I went to the gym for little while and then made soup for the week (butternut tomato soup) and sweet potato cornbread to go with it. I like the soap; I LOVE the cornbread! :) The best part of my night last night was talking to Kathryn. Oh have I missed her! She makes me feel a little more normal about the way I am thinking and feeling. As I told her about the cooking and baking I've done this year, she suggested that I should offer lessons (as a way to make some money on the side). I would have never thought about it, but I might now... I keep thinking/hoping that there is a perfect job out there for me that I just have not discovered yet. This is big to announce in a public blog, but in talking to her, I realized why I have felt a little out of sorts lately: I am not completely confident, comfortable and happy with who I am/where I am at in life. So as of right now I am trying to figure that out- big goal! It's kind of a pre-New Years' resolution. She suggested that I try to write down things that I am grateful for everyday.

This morning I made the list on my way to work. I am grateful for:
1. being able to hear Christmas music (and dance to it in the morning when I wake up)
2. my apartment and the job I have to help me pay for it
3. my roommates, my friends and my family
4. technology that allows me to keep in touch with all of these people
5. the ability to read
6. food and the ability to eat it
7. public transportation: while it is not the most reliable, it gets me from place to place
8. sunshine

I felt so positive going into work this morning. I just wish it would have been a better day. Tomorrow's a new day. :) Now for a movie with my roommates.

To be 4 Again

2008-12-01T11:16:00.001-08:00

Oh my gosh. I am still laughing. I am in the breakroom for my lunch. but just before one of the girls in my class was not sleeping and giving me attitude. After already making the threat, I told her that it was time for me to call Santa Claus. I get out my cell and am trying to keep a straight face, as Dominique sits not far from me, and I pretend that I am talking to Mrs. Claus on the phone. I tell the girl in my class that Mrs. Clause thinks she should have one more chance, but if she acts up again, I should call the North Pole back. I almost blew it (laughing) a few times. I think all of the kids are a little off from the holidays and not being in school since Wednesday, or earlier for some.

The rest of my break was pretty lowkey. On Friday morning I got my massage at 8:30. There was definitely some tension in my neck and shoulders, and both parts were a little sore on Saturday. Once I got home, my Mom, Monica and I grabbed lunch (at Mary's Market) and went out for a little shopping. We weren't too crazy. Monica needed a new winter jacket. She also got a scarf, some perfume, a few shirts. I got a couple pairs of Bearpaws and some earmuffs. That night we went out to dinner with a friend of the family, the Laisures, at a place called Fiesta Cancun. I was a little skeptical because there used to be a Wendy's in the building, but my vegetable fajitas were delicious! It wasn't your traditional peppers and onions. There was also broccoli, carrots and cauliflower. On the side I received rice, refried beans, guacamole and lettuce. (If I wouldn't have been so hungry that night, I probably could have gotten 3 vs. 2 meals out of the one order.) After dinner Monica and I watched there little boy , Joseph, while his parents visited someone in the hospital.

Saturday was finally my chance to sleep in: til 12:30 that is. :) Obviously I didn't do much that day: went for a run, spent some time at my grandparents and chilled with the fam before I took an 8:30AM train back to Chicago yesterday. Last night I really BABYsat: Gavin is 3, and his brother Grahm is only 6 weeks old! I don't think I've ever watched someone that young. I knew this going into it, but Grahm is a fussy baby. He likes to be held a lot, which I don't really mind. It was just hard to play with Gavin, clean-up, eat my dinner, etc. Speaking of... They left my money to order dinner. I didn't feel that hungry/didn't have a lot of free time with a crying baby, but I knew they would give me a hard time if I didn't order any food. So I called in an order. I told the man on the phone to have the delivery man dial the apartment, and I would buzz him up. Well, the delivery man called me and told me that there wasn't a buzzer. I thought that was odd, but I wrapped crying Grahm in a warm blanket and went downstairs, not realizing that the foyer door was going to lock behind me. Plus, there was no delivery man in sight. Thank God for the buzzer system, or the random neighbor wouldn't have been able to let me back in. Trust me, I was freaking out a bit! Once I got back upstairs, the guy that took my order called again. I ended up having to go back downstairs. I put a newspaper in the door and luckily got my food. The vegetarian couscous was delicious, just a little difficult to eat with a sleeping Grahm in my hands. He did not fall asleep until 9:30. I walked around with him for awhile until he was really out of it, then I sat down, and he slept in my arms until his mom got home. :) I definitely gained a lot of respect for new parents!

I have a feeling this time leading up to the holidays is going to fly by. It will be good though. :)

Happy Tofurkey Day! ;)

2008-11-27T21:09:00.001-08:00

Watching Christmas movies, like Miracle on 34th Street and Elf, is an enjoyable way to relax on the holidays and catch up on e-mails (since my computer is down). Do you know what will also help? My massage tomorrow morning. :) My family usually puts our Christmas tree up, but a few strands of lights are currently burnt out. :(

Switching gears: I almost missed my train home on Wednesday. There was a lot of standstill traffic, and I felt like my bus hit all of the red lights. As the stops flashed across the front of the bus, so did the times. After awhile, I had to close my eyes; it was getting way too down to the wire! I got off the bus and pulled my bag up the stairs as I saw the lights of the train coming from downtown. The train ride went by quickly as I read the Red Eye and developed my plans for Thanksgiving food prep. Monica, her new boy (Tyler) and my cousin Joey picked me up from the Harvard train station. We made a couple of grocery stops and then made our way over to my Grandma's. She took me to get a new id, since I lost mine a couple of months ago, followed by my haircut. After that, it was time to get going. After I baked my pumpkin cheesecake and pecan crust, I relaxed a bit before hitting up the bars in the Rockton/Roscoe area. I went to the Village Pub where I met up with Emily and a good number of people that we graduated with. Then, after awhile, we went over to Jim Ez. It is always nice to see people that I have not seen in awhile, but it is also very overwhelming. Not only is the bar crowded and loud, there can be so much to catch up on (depending on the person). It also was not the same without "my girls." Last year everyone in the Super 7 was in town to celebrate the holidays, but Karen and Catherine are out of town; Grace didn't go out; Charlie had to work, and Jess and I ended up missing each other.

I was tired and as a result did not stay out too late. I woke up this morning to watch the second half of the Macy's Parade and to get going on my food. I was really happy with how everything turned out, especially the pumpkin cheesecake and the gravy! (I plan to make biscuits tomorrow morning for biscuits and gravy.) Sadly, I wasn't able to make the mashed potatoes that I planned on, but I improvised and made a kale side dish. Needless to say, I am still filled up from the afternoon's food, and my Mom already asked me what I am making for Christmas. haha

We said Grace at our meal today, but we never went around to say what we are most thankful for. I would say supportive friends and family and good health are the biggest two for me at the moment. I hope everyone reading this had a delightful holiday. Now, on to Christmas!

This is Going to Be a Long One!

2008-11-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

I am going on four hours of sleep and am so ready for bed, but I really want to talk about the wonderful weekend I had before I embark on my five day weekend tomorrow! Caitlin got into Chicago Friday afternoon. I knew I would be meeting up with her later in the evening, but immediately after work Dominique and I grabbed dinner at Subway (thanks to Elton's dad) to discuss the kids, upcoming goals, progress reports, etc. I think we both felt like we had more to talk about than we actually did, but either way, I always enjoy spending time with her. Afterwards I had the option of taking the el & the bus or taking a bus. Instead of heading toward the el with Dominique, I thought the bus would be faster. After getting in touch with Sara (It had been awhile.), and talking to her for about 30 mins, I realized that the express was not picking up at that stop. As I started walking I discovered that my toes were very, very cold. I came home, had a quick hot chocolate break and set off for Ellie, Vannch and Delaney's place. Caitlin opened the door, and it made me realize just how much I had missed her! Her visit brought along a good group of people: we ended up staying at the apartment for awhile. Cait, Ema, Anique and I headed to Prost, only to learn that everyone had relocated to Grand Central. I think we had about 30 mins til bar close, but at least we got out for a little bit.

I did not wake up until noonish on Saturday- hadn't done that in awhile. I lazed about until I decided to go workout. I learned that poor Ellie got food poisoning, and Cait was going to chill with her for awhile. Later that afternoon I met Dominique downtown to watch the "Magnificent Mile Disney Light Parade." It wasn't anything extremely long or exciting, but it definitely helped put me in the Christmas spirit. Being downtown with all of the Christmas lights is pretty magical to me. :) How ironic is this?! I stopped into Borders with Dominique and ended up running into Charlie briefly. In regards to location, it would have made more sense to stay downtown and head over to Marissa's (to celebrate her birthday), but my phone was low on battery, and I was a little hungry.

Marissa lives in a beautiful apartment in Old Town; she looked fabulous, and the Birthday (aka Deloitte) Party was so much fun. I call it a "Deloitte Party" because primarily everyone in attendance was one of her co-workers. She kept apologizing to me, but everyone was really nice, and I enjoyed meeting new people. I was really enjoying myself but also wanted to get over to Ya Chin's going away party at Citizen Bar. Ya Chin and I are in the same sorority. She is one year older than me and was one of my New Member Educators. She recently landed a job working for China's equivalent of the NBA. She and I were never incredibly close, but it was crazy for me to think that I have a lot less likely of a chance to meet up with her. I got a little choked up as I said good bye, and she left me with, "I know I don't have to worry about you. You're a good one. Now go and do something important with your life." I really appreciate the kind words and expect nothing but success from her. :)

I got a nice workout in Sunday morning before I had a little baking fun. I made a granola I had been eyeing (Molasses Crunch) followed by some chocolate chip cookies with pecans. I had been craving cookies, and these definitely satisfied my sweet tooth. The granola had I unique flavor; the recipe included some lemon zest, which served as a nice compliment to the molasses. After a good amount of clean up, I made my first ever, quick stop in thrift store. What a fun experience?! There was some old school stuff in there, but I bet you can find some great stuff if you go in a lot. I found a cute,$2 brown lace shirt from Express. Some people don't like to think that these items were somewhere else first, but I think it makes the shopping even more interesting. Caitlin arrived to stay with me around 4:30. We hung out and caught up at my place and then went to dinner with Lindsay at Frasca Pizzeria/Wine Bar. Caitlin and I shared a flight of bruschetta, and the olive oil that came with the bread had a unique flavor to it. Caitlin ordered the prosciutto (olive oil, fresh mozzarella, arugula and prosciutto) pizza; I chose the caponata (tomato sauce, eggplant, red peppers, mushrooms and artichokes). The night concluded by watching the American Music Awards.

From my long post, you can tell that it was quite the "social butterfly" weekend for me, and it continued into last night. Caitlin wanted to meet some of my students, so she came around 5. They totally showed off for her. Then, Caitlin had told me that she was up for trying some vegan food. I had heard good things about Karyn's Cooked (www.karynraw.com). We headed over to Wells after work and started the meal with a spiced apple cider wine served in a coffee mug. It was delicious and hit the spot on cold night. We shared a mixed basket of cauliflower, zucchini and mushrooms dusted and deep fried in olive oil. It was delicious! Then we ordered two entrees to share: Classic Lasagna (homemade classic with smoke spinach and tofu ricotta) and a "steak" wrap (thinly sliced tofu/seitan grilled with onion sand peppers with romaine lettuce and chipotle sauce, wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla). The lasagna tasted very similar to a recipe I followed recently. The wrap was not quite what I had expected. The chipotle sauce was incredibly spicy! I liked the "grilled" flavor," but it felt like a lunch sandwich. By the end of the meal, I was stuffed, but we couldn't not order dessert. We split an enormous piece of German chocolate cake. The coconut topping and fudge on the sides was decadent, but the cake itself was not as soft as I would have liked it. I would describe it as dense and dry. That may explain why I just ate the really rich topping. I felt like the service/our waitress was okay- not the best.

According to Mr. Scott Carr, Cait's Dad, a shot of espresso is the key to re-energizing after a large meal. I don't know about her, but I wish it would have worked a little better for me. We went to State Restaurant to visit Ellie. Then, Anique and Ema stopped by. Ema had a lot of work to do, but despite my very tired, heavy eyes, Anique, Cait and I headed to Guthrie's Tavern. Anique had been raving about it, and now I know why: I felt very comfortable in the small space with painted ceiling tiles. There the three of us played an amusing game of balderdash. If you haven't played it, you definitely should! With the walk home, and a bit more talking before bed, my head finally hit the pillow around 3AM.

I was out solid until my alarm went off at 7AM. The upcoming Thanksgiving holiday was enough motivation to get me out of bed. I definitely felt a bit out of it once the day started though; I don't know how some people do it. After I got home from work there was laundry to be done, dinner to be made, things to be packed and a Large grocery list to be made. I embarked on a large endeavor of planning to cook my first Thanksgiving feast tomorrow. The tentative lineup includes tofurkey, "mighty miso gravy," mashed garlic potatoes with kale, "maple glazed sweet potatoes," green bean casserole and a pumpkin cheesecake with a homemade pecan crust. I hope it all tuns out well! Now it's time to fold some laundry and get to bed.

And Now I Know Why They Call It "The Greatest Show on Earth"

2008-11-20T19:59:00.001-08:00

Yes, that's right. I, along with a large group of preschoolers and Kindergartners, went to Ringling Brothers: Barnum & Bailey Circus this afternoon. I would say that I was pretty spoiled as a child, but I did realize recently that my parents never took me to the circus. Well, it made today even more exciting. As soon as I entered the United Center, there was an elephant painting a picture, acrobats warming up and clowns all over the place. (Fortunately they were all pretty friendly looking.) Talk about being overstimulated. Once the show began, I never knew where to look; there was something going on in every direction of the stage. We were not able to see the entire show (We missed the grand finale), but in our time there I saw trained tigers, dogs that ran to jump and catch Frisbees, horses that carried people, ponies that carried goats, clowns, acrobats, motorcycle riders: 7 total in a fairly small cage and one on a tightrope, clowns and more. The acrobatic tricks and the motorcycle men in the cage honestly made me nervous! I am such a worrier sometimes.

As I sat there watching the show, my mind started wondering: What is it like to be a circus performer? How's the social life? the love life? How does one decide to be part of the circus? What would my parents think if I told them that I had made this decision? How are the animals really treated? I recently read Water for Elephants, and now I feel like I want to read more circus-inspired novels. I was truly amazed at everything that went on at the show as did the students. Most of them stayed in their seats the entire time. That is, unless they were dancing.

This week has gone by incredibly fast for me. I cannot believe that tomorrow is already Friday. Caitlin's coming into town, which I am very excited about, and there is also a large lighting parade taking place Saturday. Then, I know Monday and Tuesday will fly by. I am taking a half day on Wednesday and taking the metra home for the traditional bar crawl pre-Thanksgiving and lunner with my family on Thursday. :)

Besides the circus, today was good for another couple of reasons. One of the fathers from my class left me a card that said, "Thank you for the time you take to teach my son. I'm hoping that one day he's able to attend a great university like the one you attended." It was short and simple but much appreciated. He also bought me a Subway giftcard. Then, I'm thinking most of you remember "Anna." (If not, she is one of the students that made me want to quit my job a few times.) In addition to babysitting her a few times, her grandfather informed me today that I am her "plan B." I had no idea what he was talking about until he explained that this weekend "Anna" said to him, "I want Miss Karissa to be my Mommy. She looks like Sleeping Beauty." I don't think looks are a good indicator of parenting skills, but I was very flattered by the comment. The two of us have built quite a special relationship- I don't think a day goes without her telling me that she loves me, even if I am in the middle of reading a story to the others. Working with her on her anger issues has made me reconsider going into psychology and working with children. As usual though, I still am not really sure.

Tuesdays are my Mondays

2008-11-18T11:48:00.001-08:00

I say that because Tuesdays are always more stressful than Mondays: I work longer hours, and there are more kids at school. One of my co-workers REALLY likes routine, and when something does not go according to her plan, she stresses out. Unfortunately, I sometimes pick up on her stress. She does not always speak to me in the best tone, which I do not appreciate. I did switch my Tues, Wed, Thurs hours from 8-6 to 8:30-6:30 so that I have a little more time to myself in the mornings (if I can get out of bed). I intend for this to make a positive impact on my mood. After work last night I met Anique and Eliz and went to my first Second City show. It was a great thing to do on a Monday night. The skits were based on the holidays, and I definitely got in some good laughs. My favorite was a guy "Frost they Snowman" who walked around with sticks as arms.

As for my weekend: It was nothing too exciting but very enjoyable. I went over to Jessi's after work Friday night. She made another delicious dinner: apple muffins, vegetable soup, Shepherd's Pie and pumpkin pie. I stayed over there for a couple of hours and then received a phone call from Lauren. She wanted to finally see The Secret Life of Bees. She, Melanie and Rachel picked me up, and we headed downtown to the movie theaters only to discover that it was sold out! We couldn't believe it; the movie's not even showing at some theaters anymore. I must say... There is potential for some great people watching at the theaters. Lauren and I had a great time seeing everyone coming up the escalators, standing in line, etc. I was going to go back to their apartment but wouldn't have had a very reliable ride home later at night. As a result, I called it an early night. That was okay though because I babysat 8-2:15 on Saturday. Then, I ran my typical errands and relaxed for the rest of the day. Grace came over that night, and we watched The Breakup as we caught up on life.

Sunday was a rejuvenating day for me. I went to a spin class in the morning, followed by a delicious breakfast of cinnamon, apple and raisin pancakes. While it was really cold outside, I found it refreshing. I met my head teacher, Dominique (who I absolutely love), downtown that night to evaluate our students. We had dinner at The Grand Lux Cafe. There were only two dinner options for me, but I ended up loving my dish: Crispy Sesame Tofu served with Stir-Fried Vegetables in a spicy szechuan orange sauce with steamed rice. The dinner allowed me to think about the students in a positive way and why I like the job. When I get going, I have so many funny/sweet stories to share about them. Yesterday one of them whispered in my ear, "You're beautiful." How can you not smile at that? :) We conducted our evaluations and then walked along Michigan Ave for a bit. It was lightly snowing, and it made me excited to think about Christmas time in Chicago (not that most of the decorations aren't up already). Then we made a ghiradelli stop. She was craving a brownie, and I ordered a hot chocolate. I must say... The drink failed to meet my expectations, but it was nice to talk with Dominique outside of the classroom. With so many little ears around, we don't often talk about our love life (mine=non-existent), our goals for the future, etc.

It's about time for me to get back at it, but as I offered Jessi well wishes on the phone last night (She's heading to London to become a certified ESL teacher and then going to Thailand to teach and take scubadiving lessons.), she encouraged me to blog everyday about something I learned. I will get back to you on that one. :)

Today's a Low

2008-11-12T12:12:00.000-08:00

and with that being said... I am just going to type as much as I can for these last 15 minutes of my lunch break. (For me writing can be a great form of therapy.) Work/teaching has been frustrating for me this week, which is causing me to question my job in general. I feel like I spend so much of my time at school "controlling" the kid and trying to be consistent that I do not teach very often. Then, when I go home at night, I'm not my usual self. Instead of going to the gym or spending time with my friends, I tend to go home and be by myself. I know that "me time" is always important, but I feel like it's been happening too much. My co-worker posed a good point: maybe it's a full-time job in general that is causing this change. Regardless, I don't feel like myself, and I do not like the way I feel.

I have also begun to question whether or not my talents are truly being utilized as a teacher. Don't get me wrong, I have gained so so much respect for teachers, but I do not think my hardworking, perfectionist personality necessarily makes the best teacher. (My friend Tim, who is teaching English in South Korea, eluded to this as well.) I see teachers as having far more patience then I do. Great teachers never appear to be bothered by much of anything. Maybe it's best not to spend much time worrying about lesson plans. Right now I feel like I am losing my love for working with children, which I do NOT want to happen. As I wrote cover letters and sent out resumes this summer, I realized that every past job of mine has dealt with children. I still love babysitting (for the most part).

I think this is just a bad day, and I'm sure the weather doesn't help either, but I am looking forward to a new day!

Back to Cold, but Some Things are DIfferent!

2008-11-07T12:06:00.000-08:00

Like Barack Obama being our President!! Up until Tuesday afternoon I did not have any intentions of making my way to Grant Park. A few people told me that the Chicago Police Department was terrified, and it was probably going to be dangerous. However, once Charlie gchatted me and invited me to join her and Grace in some partaking of American history, I really started to think it over. I declined at the time but couldn't stop thinking about the offer. I currently live in Chicago, so I had the opportunity to partake in the celebration of the first African American President. Yet, based on past news accounts of the way Chicago fans respond to victories (ie the Bulls World Championships back in the day), my stomach felt a little uneasy. Plus, I had to be into work at 8 the next morning. Was the partying/celebrating going to last all night?

On my walk home from work I learned from Jess that Grace and Charlie were on the waiting list to get into the ticketed section. Well shoot... I wasn't that special. My co-worker, Dominique, felt mixed as well. Then, once I got home and spoke to my roommate, Melissa, it was a go! Melissa and I ate dinner, put on blue dresses (It was such a beautiful night: a cotton dress, a fleece coat and flip flops was all I needed.) and met Dominique at Belmont. I have to be honest... I still felt some uneasiness after I made my decision, but I remembered a quote I read and liked at yoga the night before: "Every day do something that you are afraid of." This was mine for the day.

As soon as the train dropped us off downtown, I could feel nothing but positive energy. The scene reminded me of a parade as tons of people walked through the streets. There was a very small "security checkpoint," but many things could have passed by. On our way in I found this awesome sign on the ground that provided a great centerpiece for my pictures of the evening. I will post them soon. We also bought some American flags and buttons to show our support. We probably arrived at our spot around 8:45, Luckily there was a projection screen not too far from where we were standing so that we could watch, and cheer, each time Obama won a state. I felt bad that my Mom, one of the biggest Obama supporters I know, wasn't there with me. I tried to make her feel like a part of it by texting her and calling her when we found out Obama won at 10PM. At first I didn'tknow if he won the whole thing or if he won another state. My sister texted me to be careful and not "get trampled." She also asked me if people were "throwing couches and setting cars on fire."

Believe it or not, I did not see anything crazy at all and haven't heard about anything either. I thought McCain's concession speech was a positive won, and it was great to hear Obama's first speech as President. I am still amazed at how many countries (270) tuned in to our election. I, and so many others in this world, were so happy and hopeful Tuesday night. Melissa, Dominique and I surprisingly caught the first train to arrive, and I was home by 1:30. I will forever remember that night, who I was with, the crowd, etc. I'm not sure what time I finally made it to bed, but it was difficult to wake up the next morning until I remembered that it was a new day. :)

If only my positive thoughts could have continued throughout the day... I've been spending a good amount of time in the preschool classroom lately in preparation for my possible transition. That day one of the three year-old boys punched me in the nose with a closed fist after I put him in time out. He hit me right where it made my eyes water, so I had to leave the room. I guess one of the other teachers really let him have it, so he was apologetic when I came back to the room. (Too bad he spit in my face later that day.) It's situations like that which make me most frustrated. The boy does not respond to any forms of punishment. Anyone can tell that he runs the house and always gets what he wants at home (which is not a positive place for him). From what I know his parents are separated, and his Mom works long hours, which leaves his high school aged sister to care for him. He will definitely be a project for me.

The following night I received a call from my friend Ashley. She wanted to know if I had any desire to go rollerblading with her along the lakefront. I hadn't done that yet, so I headed over there post-dinner, and we went for a rather windy, evening rollerblade trip. Nothing too exciting for the rest of the week. I've been battling getting sick, so I didn't do much at night. Last night I went over to Jessi's house (the girl I met at Soul Vegetarian East last Saturday). She introduced me to a couple of her friends, Staci and Marie, and together we shared an enormous and delicious vegan dinner of minestrone soup, salad, focaccia bread with a spinach and artichoke dip, pasta with sauteed vegetables and a homemade cilantro pesto dip and banana brownies for dessert. She just asked me to bring the wine, so I did, but I felt like my contribution paled in comparison to the rest of the meal. It was really enjoyable to meet new people. Even though I knew I had to wake up at 6AM this morning, I didn't want to leave. I only left with Staci and Marie around 11:45.

This morning's conference in Schaumburg was very informative, and it gave me some inspiration and new ideas to start the week. I was fortunate to grab a nap before I headed to babysitting at 6. It was an easy night: one in bed at 6:30, the other 7:30. I cleaned up and then typed up my week for all of you to read. Now it's time to catch up on other stuff. I may go into Evanston for Northwestern's Founders Day (if I wake up in time) tomorrow, and I am going to The Balanced Kitchen for dinner. It's an all organic, gluten free, vegan restaurant. I cannot wait to try it!

So Confused but Loving It!

2008-11-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

With Halloween in the past and Thanksgiving on the way I would expect the 40 degree weather that we had earlier this week. However, I love the 65/Easter-like weather of today! Oh my gosh... I just checked the weather for tomorrow: 75 and sunny! :) This warm weather in November may be attributed to global warming, which is never good. Yet, I can't help but embrace the warmer temperatures. I think this is my ideal climate. I would be happy if every day oscillated between 60 and 80.

Now for my highlights of the week: My friend had her baby boy (Parker) on the 28th at 11:11PM. I went to the hospital for a visit on Wednesday night. It was the first time that I can remember holding a baby that small. He is 8.5 lbs, 21" long and so precious!

Thursday night I ended up watching "Anna" again. We rode the bus home together after work, picked up some spaghetti ingredients, made dinner, watched Hocus Pocus and then read some stories until her Mom came after school. She is such a smart little girl, and I enjoy spending time with her. She told me that she wanted to stay overnight at my house and was sad to leave. I do my fair share of babysitting, but I cannot imagine having her with me every night.

Friday was Halloween! After three days of being in at 8AM, it felt fantastic to sleep in. I got on my low-budget, school friendly Twister costume and headed to work. I am very bummed; somehow I lost all of my pictures from the actual day of Halloween. :( The kids in my class were very cute. I had a boxer, a fireman,Batman, Superman, Little Red Riding Hood, two Princesses and a Transformer. My favorite costume was in the preschool class: a rat from Ratatouille. It was a very laid back day with trick-or-treating, a lot of time outside and an enormous witch pinata, which the kids went crazy over. The witch was taller than the girls in my class. At the end of the day I had a more serious discussion with my director about becoming a head (preschool) teacher at the beginning of the year. I am highly considering it now, even more than I was before.

Later that night I went to my friend Ashley's for a Halloween gathering. She was dressed as Sarah Palin, and her blonde roommate was Hillary Clinton. There was also a Bill Clinton and a Bristol Palin. They were very cute! 3/4 of my way to the gathering I realized that I left my id at home, so I ended up coming back fairly early. I loved being on Belmont and seeing everyone in their costumes. Halloween really is an amazing holiday! There's so much possibility for creativity and fun festivities.

Yesterday, Saturday, was a jam packed day. I woke up around 10:30 to get ready for my journey to the South side (75th St.) for my first vegan meetup at Soul Vegetarian East. I was one of the firsts in line at the buffet, and I also went up for a round of seconds. The menu consisted of Carrot Salad, BBQ Twists, Mac & Cheese, Greens, CornBread and a Lemon Cake for dessert. One of the fellow attendees did a good job of explaining the dishes (www.snarkyvegan.com). I wasn't a huge fan of the cornbread or carrot salad, but I think I will crave that mac & cheese and the BBQ twists often. They had such rich, delicious flavor. The woman who took care of us was so sweet. She also told us about their Sunday brunch, which sounds amazing! I think I'll be heading to the South side again soon. Let me warn you that it is not cheap, and I learned that they don't always have the macaroni & cheese, so make sure to call ahead.

I was a little disappointed that most of the group was an older crowd, but I did meet a really interesting girl at the end of the meetup named Jessi. She lives near Belmont & Clark, so we road the train back together. I learned that she went from being a freshman in high school to a freshman in college out in Colorado. She's working with her Aunt right now as a website designer and will soon be leaving for Thailand to teach English and become a certified scuba instructor. I woke up to a text from her this morning. She invited me over for dinner on Friday with a few of her friends. I thought that was so thoughtful.

While she got off at Belmont, I headed into Evanston for a babysitting job. I had about an hour in between, which was the perfect amount of time for me to meet up with Syd. It had been so long since we talked, and it was great to see her (and Ozzie). Babysitting was easy. The girls are so great! After that I headed home and got ready for a Halloween party! I ran into a lot of people who I had not seen in a long time. I was also very surprised to find myself one of the last people at the party. Then, I got home, and still wasn't tired.

I had a few tentative plans today, but they fell through, so it ended up being a day of relaxation. That seems to be a theme for my Sundays. Okay, long post. I'm done.

Not ready for this weather...

2008-10-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

As I write this post, it is 45F in the windy city of Chicago. I actually wore my winter coat and ski hat on my walk to work today. Fortunately it's supposed to warm up by the end of the week, which means Halloween should be mild! :) Speaking of... I had a few friends, and one of the little girls from my class, over yesterday to help me get in the spirit. Before their arrival I baked some goodies: apple pecan muffins and pumpkin spice bread. The bread has great flavor, but a very spongy texture. The muffins, however, were a huge hit! I actually heard Anique tell Eliz, "I didn't think vegan stuff was good." C'mon Anique! I've become quite the food critic. You mean to tell me that you think I eat bland, disgusting food? haha Quite the contrary! I now absolutely love cooking and baking. I spend a lot of my free time reading recipes, shopping for the ingredients and trying new things. Some things don't always turn out as good as I hope, but that happens with any cuisine. For dinner last night I made a "cashew coconut stir fry," which had flavors like coconut milk that I hadn't eaten in awhile.

So back to yesterday: You're probably never going to believe this, but "Anna" is the little girl from my class that I watched yesterday. She came over a little after 2, followed by Lauren and then Anique and E Liz. I thought Anna would be into carving pumpkins and digging out the pumpkin seeds with her hands, but I learned that she did that Saturday night with her "Bubby" (aka Grandma). So instead I was in charge of pumpkin seed baking/ approving Anna's drawings. I made a batch of garlic salt pumpkin seeds and another bath of sugar & spice pumpkin seeds. Every one's pumpkins turned out well (pics to come soon), and the seeds were also very tasty! :) Then, Anna and I started watching Hocus Pocus, one of my all-time favorite Halloween movies. I had to go to a few different Blockbusters to get it. I spent the rest of the night getting organized for my week.

Tonight I am going into Evanston to help the DDD seniors with slating. Then, it's 8-6 Tues-Thurs at school this week. I have a feeling I am going to be TiReD on Halloween. I had a short meeting with my director today just to check in and see how she thought I was doing. I was happy to hear that she thinks I would be a great teacher. She wants me to consider teaching the junior preschool program. As most of you know, I am always up for a challenge. However, I hesitate for a few reasons. First, I love Miss Doss (my head teacher). I think we really have a great dynamic. Second, it took me awhile to get used to the attention span/attitudes, etc. of four and five year-olds. I can't imagine how I would do working with two year-olds. I definitely want to talk to her about it more though. I'm actually going to be in the preschool room 8-10 these next few days.

So here's a funny story. To teach our students about the election process and to encourage good behavior, our students vote on a class president. The class president has special priviledges like being the line leader, getting extra icecream on Fridays, etc. Well Anna was doing the wrong thing this morning, and I made mention that "if [she] didn't change her behavior, [she] wouldn't be in the running to be president." I didn't even think about what I had said until she replied, "but I'm a really fast runner!" haha so cute! :) Speaking of kids saying whatever comes to mind, did I ever write about the time she asked me if I "had a baby in my tummy" post-lunch. That was pretty embarassing; I don't think I ate the rest of the day. (jk) While my lunch break was nice, I guess I better get back to it. Happy Monday everyone!

Warm Fuzzies

2008-10-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to me that I'm posting back-to-back days, but the plans that I made for tonight have completely fallen through, so I figured I might as well talk about my night with the girls.

With the nasty weather, Jess and Emily picked me up and we got over to Grace and Charlie's. (Thank goodness!) Charlie got out her marathon/rain jacket and umbrella and cooked on the grill for all of us. We had originally planned to leave the apartment for a bar around 10, but we ended up sharing memroies and catching up until after midnight. The night wouldn't have been complete without Grace's idea to share "warm fuzzies" with one another. There were a lot of laughs and even some tears. We have so many similarities, in addition to numerous differences, but after 5 years we are still best friends! I can't wait for Em and Karen to join us in the city. :)

Did I really just do that?

2008-10-24T17:12:00.000-07:00

This is kind of embarrassing but way too funny not to write about. On Thursday morning our school went on a field trip to Bengston's Pumpkin Fest in Homer Glen, IL. Since the buses were leaving at 8:30, I was supposed to be there at 8. (I usually work at 10.) I thought I woke up in plenty of time to get there by 8, but I was running about ten minutes behind. Since the weather's been nice, I usually walk the 40 minutes each way to work. For those of you that know Chicago and its el system, I live approximately a 15 min walk away from the Belmont el stop. I decided that hopping on the el there and heading up two stops to Sheridan would save me some time. (Plus, I still needed to finish putting on my makeup). Well, everyone else seemed to be running late that morning also. I had to run with the crowd to prevent myself from being knocked over. As I ran up the stairs to the Northbound side of the tracks a woman was yelling, "Hurry, hurry! The doors are going to close." So I ran in with the couple of others surrounding me. I was happy to get a seat as I heard the announcement: ding, dong... Doors closing. This is an express train to Howard." Shit!

Knowing that I was going to be outside all day I really bundled up. So now I am sitting on an express train headed to Evanston as I sweat in my tanktop, longsleeve, sweater and coat. There are so many people around me that I can't really remove any layers. Then, I get out my phone to call the school and notify them that I am going to be late. At this point I realize that for some reason I have their fax number in my phone. Wow! So instead of being 5-10 minutes late, I was 25 minutes late. (Too bad the bus didn't leave until 9 anyway.)

We only stayed for an hourish, but the Pumpkin Fest was so cute. We started at the pig races where we all sat in a little grandstand and watched three little pigs race around the track. Then, we made our way over to the petting zoo. I usually think of petting zoos as one and the same, but this one had a zebra, a kangaroo and alpacas! I do have a small fear of petting zoos after having have of my fingernail bit off by a hungry sheep during my childhood. The kangaroo and zebra were off limits, but I pet some baby alpacas. I almost had to leave this area because the girl I was with, who we call "Princess" in the class, wanted to leave because it smelled in there. Haha! She is so funny. One day she started crying during class. When I asked her what was wrong she told me that the cut on her arm was "ugly." I went to get a bandaid to cover up the ugliness. :)

I'm currently waiting for Jess and EmTemp to pick me up. Then we are going over to Grace and Charlie's, where we will be joined by Karen and Cat, to celebrate Grace's birthday! I cannot remember the last time all 7 of us (the Super 7) were together, and I am very much looking forward to it. I stayed up later than normal last night making Gracie a non-traditional Birthday (Carrot) Cake with homemade icing. (I really have become quite the Susie Homemaker! I love it though.) If the rain slows up this weekend, I have plans to go to a haunted house tomorrow night, and I invited some people over on Sunday to carve pumpkins and watch a Halloween movie-just trying to get in the spirit.

I don't think I have much else that's exciting to report this week. I do want to send my blessings to the friends and family of Kristen Roth who recently passed away due to an enlarged heart. :( My Dad called me to tell me Sunday night, and I couldn't believe it. Kristen graduated with me from Hononegah in 2004. We were in Track, RUDE and Student Council together.

My Catchup Day

2008-10-19T14:30:00.001-07:00

Sunday's are always my day to try and get on top of stuff: going through my e-mails, cleaning my room, buying groceries for the week, etc. I'm watching Stepbrother right now with my roommate and her bf; it's incredibly foul!

Highlights from the Week:

On Tuesday night I went to my first DDD alum meeting after work. :) There was a safety presentation and dinner, followed by a chance for me to meet some of the other recent grads. There were a couple of teachers there, so that was easy conversation.

After work on Wednesday I went over to Cristy's. She made a Thai dinner for me, Gina and Chiara. Al, Nick and Dave also enjoyed it with us after they got back from the bar. Cristy's doing really well: she is full-term and could have her baby any day. His stuff is all set up, and the overnight hospital bag is packed. I am getting excited! We had the presidential debate on the tv, but I chose to watch baby move in Cristy's stomach. It's truly an amazing phenomenon.

On Friday night I met up with Charlie, Grace, Jess, Ryan and Brian at a place called Louie's Pub on North Avenue. It was karaoke night and soo entertaining! All of the flatscreens had the lyrics up, so everyone could sing along. We were belting those songs out! By the time the girls and I decided to put a request in for Livin' on a Prayer, it was too late in the night. They never played our song. :( Regardless, it was a fantastic night, and I am so excited to celebrate Grace's birthday with the girls this upcoming Friday.

On Saturday morning I woke up around 8 to head into Evanston for Northwestern's Homecoming. It took me awhile to get mobilized. I met up with Ashley, her roommate Karen, Katie and Caroline. Katie drove us all into Evanston. they went up North to the stadium, and I flew solo to 82o Hamlin. There were so many people there! I felt like a broken record telling everyone about my roommates, my job, my apt, etc., but I enjoyed hearing from everyone else. Plus, the tailgat was catered complete with flavored coffee, fruit & veggie trays, chili, corndogs and delicious sweet potato fries! In my attempts to be economical, I didn't buy a ticket for the game. Instead, I went to Nevin's to watch Northwestern beat Purdue. It was a Happy Homecoming. :) Later that night (post-Pita Pete's lunch), I babysat and made some $$! No idea what's in store for me this week...

Something Old Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

2008-10-13T11:33:00.001-07:00

The title of this blog was inspired from a wedding I attended this weekend. On Saturday, my friend Kathy, who I have known since she was born, got married in Rockton. I'm not entirely sure why, but I found myself tearing up a lot throughout the night, especially when her younger sister Abby read her speech and when Kathy danced with her Dad. I might have been a little sad because I don't see her as much as I'd like to. When I think about it, our families have so much history. Then, here she is all grown up and married! It's events like this that make me realize I am an adult.

Now let me go back a little. On Friday I received a nice surprise at work: one of my students' mother brought all of the teachers flowers. I can't remember the last time I got flowers! Then, on Friday night I took the train into Evanston to meet up with Carryn for dinner. She grabbed some Pita Pete's, and I got Noodles & Company, and we just took it back to Garnett. It was so nice to see her and to be in Evanston again. (I definitely felt nostalgic!) I didn't stay too long because I had to pack for home/was pretty tired from the week. I caught an 8:30 train from Chicago to Harvard. My Grandma Dar was there to pick me up. We made a quick stop by Target and then to the wonderful, well-known Edward's Apple Orchard. Oh how I love fall foods! I got a warm apple cider donut, had a glass of apple cider and bought a taffy apple, a bag of honeycrisp apples and some apple butter.

My Grandma dropped me off at home. My Mom made me a delicious vegan pizza for lunch, and I sadly watched Northwestern lose to Michigan State. On a positive note, Justin brought over his family new puppy Indy. Indy is a white lab/Golden Retriever mix and so cute (of course)! He was playing in the huge holes that my sister's Huskie (Chiefton) has dug in our backyard over time. After the reception my sister and I were both exhausted, so we called it an early night. Yesterday morning I went to breakfast with my Dad at my Grandma Elaine's house before catching a train back to Chicago. The rest of my afternoon is really nothing exciting to report.

Yea, a babysitting job!

2008-10-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

This post would have been a little more negative, but I just got a babysitting job about 30 mins ago. This weekend I totaled up all of my spending from the month of September. I realized that I need to make about $ more a month. I will also have loan repayments coming soon. I wish it was something I didn't have to stress/think about a lot, but I do. After work I went to a bar in Wrigleyville that posted an ad in need of female servers and bartenders. They listen an open interview for tomorrow afternoon 12-5, but I will be at work. I'm pretty sure there was this really pretty, well-dressed girl being interviewed when I went in. The guy at the bar took my resume and told me that he would be in touch. Let's just say that the experience was a blow to my self-esteem. I can't stop thinking about it. :( Anna also had a meltdown today (after a really good past couple of days). She's actually developed a very interesting relationship with me: she always wants to sit on my lap, hug me and just be near me. It's much better than being pinched, hit, etc., but she gets really upset sometimes when I can't give her all of my attention.

Sunday was another day that ended up being completely different than I thought it would be. I ended up going to sleep, with a headache, Saturday night. I planned to go to the Farmers' market and workout in the morning before I met up with Lauren to vegan bake. My phone rang/woke me up at 12:45!! It was Lori, who is now my babysitting job. I called Lauren right away and headed over to her place (after waiting in the rain for the bus for about 30 mins). Together we made fall-inspired Gingerbread Scones with a maple glaze. At first I wasn't crazy about them, but I really liked the flavor after they cooled down and the glaze set in. Later that night I met up with Lori, and her husband Rich, who I really like(d)! They seem like a really young, fun couple.

Monday was nothing significant, and last night, with it pouring rain outside, I went crazy in the kitchen... I made a large batch of butternut squash, sweet potato and apple soup. It is so delicious and "fally"! I think I might make it for my family Thanksgiving. Then, I made "roasted tofu and vegetable napoleon" for dinner. It wasn't too difficult; it was a stacker of portobello mushroom, tofu, sweet potato, zucchini, tomato, roasted red pepper and carrot with an basil/olive oil dressing. That's all for now. I'm watching Project Runway with my roomies. :)

Things are Coming Together

2008-09-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying that I started this post earlier in the week but never got around to finishing it: It feels so good to be "reconnected" to the world. (Now I just need everyone's numbers again!) It turns out that I had not just "left in a hurry" last Wednesday." When I returned home, and looked through my room, I realized that my wallet was no where to be found. As a result, I spent the night calling cta to report my wallet, (I think I left it on the bus?), canceling my credit/debit cards, temporarily disconnecting my phone line, etc. I should have been/am grateful that nothing was used, but it doesn't mean I didn't cry a good amount and go to bed really early- haha! The next few days/nights are kind of a blur. I didn't feel too comfortable going anywhere late at night without a phone, so I just hung out around my place.

On Friday night I got in touch with my Mom who informed me that she bought me a new phone and renewed my calling plan. She encouraged me to go to US Cellular to see if I could get a temporary loner phone. I went there and received one with ease. That afternoon I met up with E Liz at Take Five on Southport to watch the Northwestern game. We watched Northwestern beat Iowa 22-17, which means a 5-0 start for the Wildcats. (If I have my stats right, this hasn't happened since 1962.) After the game I ended up catching up with a friend from school (Sara) for a long time. It hadn't talked to her since I moved in and started my job, so we had a lot to catch up on. That night one of my roommates had a Belated Birthday Pizza Part for one of her friends at out place. Melissa and Greg (her boyfriend) went crazy in the kitchen! They made bruschetta, 5 different pizzas and baked brie. For dessert she picked up this amazing "atomic" cake from Whole Foods. After that I was pretty much in a food coma, so I didn't go out. I also knew I had to wake up early the next morning.

On Sunday I left my apartment around 10 to meet my Mom, Grandma, Godmother and others for lunch at Santorini in Greektown. We were served soo much food, family style: TZATZIKI (thin slices of cucumber in homemade yogurt with essence of garlic), TARAMOSALATA(Greekstyle caviar spread made from the delicate roe of carp), SAGANAKI (Cheese flambe), ATHENIAN SALAD (mixed romaine lettuce with green onions, tomato, oregano, feta cheese, olives, anchovies and Greek dressing), DOLMADES (vine leaves stuffed with 100% certified Angus beef), KEFTEDES (meatballs topped with a tomato sauce and cheese), PASTICHIO (made with 100% certified Angus beef, macaroni pasta, baked in a Bechamel sauce), VEGETARIAN MOUSSAKA (zucchini, eggplant and potato bake in a Bechamel sauce, topped with feta and romono cheese) and GREEK CHICKEN. To top it all off, there was KADAIFI (shredded pastry dough with walnuts and honey syrup) and CREMME KARAMELE (custard baked in syrup). I obviously didn't eat a lot of what was served, but the stuff I ate was pretty good. A lot of people didn't like the food and didn't think they could ever live in Greece. I told them that food on the island is completely different- so fresh and delicious! I don't think it helped that Santorini made food for 50+ people. After lunch I took the bus over to see Mamma Mia at 2. Oh how I love the theater?! I wish I had money to go more often. I liked Mamma Mia, but it wasn't my favorite. In New York I saw Movin Out, which is probably my favorite. Not far behind that is Wicked, then Avenue Q. This season I would love to see Dirty Dancing, Mary Poppins and Jersey Boys. I'm not sure how I feel about Legally Blonde. That night I finally saw a Bears victory but nothing else too special!

Tuesday night I had a dessert date with Charlie at Chaos Theory Cakes & Confections on N. Lincoln. We shared a piece of carrot cake and symphony cake (hazelnut dacquoise, caramelized hazelnuts, caramel, caramel mousse, mocha buttercream). Both were delicious, and the girl that was working was so sweet. She sent us home with some other goodies to try: a caprese cupcake, a strawberry basil cupcake and a green tea mango tart. I was a little turned off by the caprese cupcake but really liked it! They have a lot of different stuff there, so you have to be adventurous. It's a little more on the expensive side, but the bakery is so bright and cute on the inside and for me was a great, quiet place to catch up with Charlie.

After work on Wednesday I met Tessa (my roommate) and her friend Regan at Yakzies in Wrigleyville to watch the game. It was not a good night! Not only did Tessa and Regan spend way too much on beers, but we all know that the Cubs lost. :( Thursday night I had Grace and Jess over for an Oriental dinner. Grace brought sushi. I made my favorite "Asian Noodle Creation" recipe and heated up some butternut squash soup to start. Together we watched a bit of the VP debate. Jess's sarcastic commentary was great! Once the Cubs game came on, we switched to that and went back to the debate during commercial breaks. They left around 10. I stayed up for awhile watching the game, but it was getting miserable, and I was tired.

Yesterday was E Liz's birthday. I went over to her (and Anique & Stacy's) place around ten. Let me tell you, it was hard to mobilize around my typical bed time, but I ended up having a nice time. I talked to Stephanie Sorensen a lot. I had met her before, but we ended up talking most of the night, while everyone else was paired up for beer pong. The two of us were pretty exhausted and decided to pass on going to Schoolyard.

Today has been completely different that I thought it would be. I planned to wake up early and go to a farmers market, but I didn't wake up until almost 11. I was going to try this new restaurant in the loop, but everyone was meeting at noon, and I couldn't get the internet up to get directions. Instead, I went to the gym. Later this afternoon I was supposed to meet up with someone about babysitting, but she had to cancel on me (again). I planned/hoped to visit with Cristy today, but she had errands to run. As a result, I spent the day chillin on the coach watching movies. Right now I'm watching the Cubs game with Greg, and then a group of us are hoping to go out for Karen's Birthday. Let's hope the Cubs can pull it together!!

Here's a special shoutout of Congratulations to Blair and Tim who finished their LSAT today! I hope it went well. :)

Just One of Them Days....

2008-09-24T11:53:00.000-07:00

This morning started like any other: I woke up and went to the gym, showered and got ready, made breakfast, got my lunch together, etc. Then, as I was getting ready to leave for work, my roommate asked me to call her cell phone. At that time I realized I didn't have my phone. I gathered up my stuff, left the house and headed to the gym to see if I left it there. No such luck! Then, when I went to try and catch the bus, I realized that I didn't have my wallet with me, which meant I did not have a bus pass or any money. So, I ended up walking the 2.3mi to work. Even though I knew I was going to be late, I tried to think positive thoughts: It is a beautiful day. I'm getting exercise. Then, I passed a dead squirrel laying on the side of the road. :(

I was about 15 mins late and walked in to find a note informing me that my director needed to talk to me. "Great!" I thought. I went to her office and ended up having a long talk with her. She just asked me how things were going. (For some reason I used that question as a lead for me to break down about everything I've been upset about lately... I guess it was building up?!). She kept telling me that I have to stop being so hard on myself. (It's something I've struggled with since I was young.) I set really high standards for myself and feel like a failure when things don't go as predicted. So, needless to say, it was not a good start to the day, but it's going better now.

When I went outside a bunch of the kids ran up and gave me a hug. That made me feel better, and then I played on the playground with them! I'm on my lunch break now and just hope my phone and wallet are both in my room somewhere when I get back.

Positive happenings: Monday night I got a belated birthday present from Caitlin: a set of colorful candlesticks and the first addition for the walls in my room: a plaque that says something like, "Friends are like stars. Even though you can't see them, you know they are there." It really meant a lot to me. Then, I had Grace over for an Italian feast last night. She brought some merlot, and I made minestrone soup, peperonata and charming chocolate cupcakes for dessert. It was so nice to have her over. Then, I finished the night watching Sex and the City with my roommates. :)

1st Blind Date, Check

2008-09-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

After work Friday night Mike picked me up from work. We went to Adobo Grill in Old Town and started with fabulous margaritas. Then, I ordered the plato vegetariano (sliced jícama, mango and cucumber with guajillo vinaigrette; sweet corn tamalon stuffed with figs; vegetable tinga steamed in a corn husk; zucchini stuffed with goat cheese), and he got
Enchiladas de Mole Rojo (chicken enchiladas basted in mole rojo, topped with sour cream, añejo cheese, onions; black beans). My dish was good, but I don't think I would rush back there for dinner.

General thoughts on the date: It's hard for me to even remember what we talked about. (For some reason, it's kind of a blur.) It was interesting to not know anything about him, which meant there were a good number of things to talk about. He is a really nice guy, and dinner wasn't at all uncomfortable, but I didn't feel any sparks. I thought he was meeting up with one of his friends after dinner, so I figured I would just be heading home, but I found out that he didn't have any plans. I had my bag with me from work and wanted to head back up North, but I felt bad that he had nowhere to go at the time. We walked around Old Town for a little bit, but then I hopped on the train toward home. If he asked me to go out again, I would, but I would not let him pay again; I don't think that would be right.

I thought I might head out once I got home, but a conversation with my Mom led me to not really want to go out. According to her, she thinks my expectations for daying are way too hight, which makes me not ready for a relationship. In general, this weekend hasn't really been what I thought it would; I haven't met up with any of my friends that I thought I would see. I did have a nice, long workout yesterday afternoon, which felt good. Then, I did laundry for the week, cleaned my room, went to the grocery store, etc. before I went to a "Stress Free Saturday" get together. I was invited over by my friend for "drinks, appetizers, catching up and free facials." What I got to the apartment, I received a 90 min. presentation on Mary Kay, followed by pressure to buy products and become involved in the compay. I felt deceived and did not leave very happy. The facial did not happen, and I hardly got a chance to catch up with my friend. That night I was supposed to make dinner for Grace and Jess, but Jess was babysitting for her sister, so Grace suggested we opt for another night. It made sense, but I was planning on spending a large portion of my night with them.

Once I got home, Tessa, my roommate, and I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and walk around Wrigleyville since the Cubs clinched the division. The bars were all packed, so we just walked around for awhile and took pictures (leading to another early night for me), but the energy in the city was amazing, and i loved seeing everyone in red, white and blue. I slept in today and then went to the farmers market in Wicker Park where I loaded up on some fresh fruits and veggies. Now, I'm watching the Bears game and hope to make a nice dinner and bake some cupcakes later (after I pick up a few more groceries).

I don't have any updates on a second job, but I definitely hope to find something soon!

Yesterday was NOT an Inspiration to Teach...

2008-09-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

I almost quit... No joke! One of the little (4 year-old) girls in my class is so ridiculous. I will explain the afternoon for you (in case you want to know a little more about my day). In the afternoons, I have the kids on my own 3:30-6. During that time, there is usually a combination of packet work, a craft project and free time. Well, half of the kids were doing their work, and the other kids were off playing. Instead of trying to discipline kids that were not doing their work, I decided to reward the ones who were working diligently. When the time came, I gave a little presentation and allowed the hardworking students to pick their prizes. This girl, I'll call her Anna, didn't get a prize. She tried to rip the bag of prizes out of my hand. When she didn't succeed at that, she grabbed a baton out of the bag. As she angrily pulled it out, she hit one of the little boys in the face. He started crying and covering his eye. For a little background, Anna likes to make people mad, so I didn't yell at her. Instead, I pointed to her "friend" who was crying and told her that I couldn't believe she hurt him like that. She merely smiled, showing no remorse, and went into the other room. I called her back into the room for a time out, and she knocked a box of crayons on the floor. When I asked her to pick them up, she threw them at her classmates and the music teacher and went back into the other room. When I went to get her out of the other roomagain, she refused to come with me and started destroying the two year-old classroom. I picked her up to bring her back into our room. She kicked a two year-old in the head and started pinching me. I called the director, who told me she didn't have time to talk to me. I was so frustrated! Yes, she's four, but I don't deserve to be hit, kicked, pinched, spit on, etc.

Today was a MUCH better day, even though I was kicked in the back by another kid, but I'm kind of getting used to the physical abuse.

If I'm in a a good mood/feeling optimistic, I tell myself that these kids just need love and attention that they may not be getting at home. In these moments, I see myself sticking with teaching. The other side of me says, "This isn't my job."

I must say that the week has gone by quickly though. I can't believe tomorrow's already Friday. Speaking of... After work I'm meeting up with a guy. Last week my aunt called me and told me that she met this really great (single) guy, who she thought that I should meet. She asked him for his business card, and then she gave me his e-mail. I figured why not, so I e-mailed him last week. We're grabbing dinner after I get off work. I'm a little nervous but also excited. If anything, it's company and dinner at a new place.

I've been very bad!

2008-09-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!
Every day, while at work, I tell myself that I really need to update my blog, but when push comes to shove (aka I come home from work, make/eat dinner, pack my lunch for the next day), I feel incredibly lazy and haven't written in over two weeks. After getting an e-mail from my Shanghai loving, ex-roomie (Daphne), I was reminded that some people do care what I am up to. While I would like to start from my birthday and try to do a thorough recap, I know I don't have the energy to do that right now. (I'm in the process of changing my schedule to a 6AM wakeup, which means I'll be heading to bed after I write this.)

Since the last time I wrote was my birthday I just want to give a couple of shout outs to a couple of friends who gave me such fitting presents. Blair mailed me this amazing chapstick that smells like a cupcake! (I put it on every night before I go to bed.) She also got me this scrapbook cardmaking set- so cute. :) Tonight I finally had the opportunity to meet up with Lauren tonight for dinner at The Chicago Diner (her suggestion). It was my first time there, and I ordered one of the weekly specials: Shephard's Pie (lentil base casserole blended with seitan, onions, celery and mushrooms, topped with mashed sweet potatoes and Diner gravy, served with steamed greens) It was good, but I wasn't crazy about it. It was a little cold when I first got it, so I asked our server to heat it up. He was very apologetic and offered to buy us a dessert. Lauren and I shared a peanut butter cookie dough shake (I had heard that they are awesome there.), and let me tell you that I basically licked my cup clean!! Lauren knows how much I love sweets, so she bought me a vegan baking cookbook- so very thoughtful. :)

So about my job, my apartment, my roommates, etc.

My job is going well. There are definitely better days than others, and that mostly depends on the moods of the kids. Even certain parts of the day go better than others. I definitely have my moments when I want to throw my hands up in the air because I do not know what to do, but then there are other times when the work is so rewarding. That being said... I am considering going back to school next year for a Masters in Education. Working in a classroom has made me better understand just how important it is for children to gain a positive sense of themselves, a strong work ethic, etc at a young age. I see how being a teacher would allow me to be creative with the setup of the classroom, the lesson planning; yet I would be thorough and incredibly organized when it comes to tracking the progress of each student, trying to teach using all modalities, etc. The downsides to teaching (that I've thought of so far) are dealing with behavioral issues and the pay, sadly. I feel like each day I go back and forth between wanting to go back to school for teaching or nursing. I definitely plan to do some nurse shadowing and also volunteer in a hospital before I make any decisions. And yes, I know I do not need to decide right now, but I'm a person who likes to have a plan.

While I like my job, I know that I need to pick up something else on the side to make some extra money. There are just too many good restaurants, cafes shops and things to do in the city to try and be living paycheck to paycheck. I've been searching for serving jobs, but I've realized that's going to be pretty impossible when I don't get out of work until 6. I thought it would be fun to work in a bar/restaurant to meet new people and switch up my days, but now I am looking into babysitting and tutoring jobs for the flexibility. Hopefully I'll figure out something soon.

On to my apartment: I love it! I definitely need to personalize my room more, but I fit everything into a small space quite nicely (in my opinion). The location lends me to be less than five minutes away from the Belmont, Lincoln and Ashland buses. I take the Ashland bus to work, which is a quick commute for me. It just needs to be a little more reliable. Yesterday I waited for 30 mins for the bus, making me late to work, even though I was ready for the day earlier than necessary. Back to the positive: My roommates are also fabulous. There is Tessa, Kaitlin and Melissa. All three graduated from Notre Dame in '07 and have great about introducing me to their friends and such.

On the Cubs victory I think I'll finish here and get to bed. I promise to try and be better! More to come on things I've done in the city.

(PS My parents were at Z's no hitter Sunday night- not fair!)

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-08-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

So this is what 22 looks like: You're home by 9:30 on your birthday. (I know that can mostly be attributed to my birthday being on a Thursday/Most people were up early this morning for work and also have to work early tomorrow morning, but it still felt weird.) Speaking of work... Tomorrow I am meeting my head teacher at 1:30, and then I officially start my job as an assistant Kindergarten teacher on Tuesday! I feel like a lot has happened since I last wrote. I'm just going to start with yesterday (the 27th).

I came into the city around 6:30PM for Charlie's Birthday. Charlie and Grace met me at the train stop, which was really sweet. That night Jessika met us for sushi at a place called Blue Fin Sushi Bar. It was the first time I had seen Jess since Charlie's graduation party, and I hadn't talked to her since I'd been back from Europe. I think it was one of the first times (besides my birthday tonight) that I had an "I'm a grownup" moment. We're all working full-time jobs in the city, in our own apartments, and Jess and Homie will be getting married this spring. I ordered a seaweed salad and Vege Tempura Maki: "a teardrop-shaped maki brimming with asparagus tempura, sweet potato tempura, shitake mushrrom, pickled yamagobo, pickled dykon, spinah and inari. It was very tasty, and it definitely filled me up. That wasn't all though. Grace ordered Charlie, (Karen) and I a cake from I believe Alliance Bakery. It was a hazelnut cake filled with fresh blueberries and strawberries, iced with chocolate fudge, and the birthday wish was written in hot pink. It was so cute, and it tasted even better! Jess wasn't feeling well, so she headed home. After a second piece of cake, Grace, Charlie and I watched What Happens in Vegas until they both went to bed. I finished it up and headed to bed myself. Since I hadn't slept well the night before, I silenced my phone.

I slept in this morning and woke up to a good number of text messages and a few voicemails, in addition to a card from Charlie. (Grace gave me mine last night.) They kept singing praises of Letizia's Natural Bakery, so I went there to get an Odwalla and a muffin before I headed over to my new apartment. The carrot raisin muffin I got was very good. It was actually the only option I had. (I guess that's what happens when you want a breakfast food around noon.) Oops! Then, I bought my monthly cta pass and headed over to what I now call home. :) I only have a suitcase's worth of things in my room right now, but I can't wait to fill it with all of my things. I don't really have much to say regarding the afternoon. I didn't have a key to go anywhere quite yet. Then, tonight I met Anique, Ashley and Lindsay at Ethiopian Diamond Restaurant. It was so delicious and different. I had only had Ethiopian once before. It was an interesting dynamic because Anique loves Ethiopian, and Lindsay and Ash had never had it. Unless they were being polite, I think it was an all around success. The honey wine was so delicious as were the sambusa appetizers and the vegetarian platter that I ate. I love being able to get a variety of tastes all at once.

I'm actually getting tired, so I think I'm going to go to bed. Thanks to everyone who helped make my birthday special! xoxo

Downs and Ups

2008-08-15T21:48:00.000-07:00

If I were to have written last night, the tone of this blog would have been completely different.

I stayed at my grandparents' house Monday night to enable me to catch a 7:35AM Metra train into Chicago. This means I woke up around 6 and left the house at 6:30. At 7:40 I received a phone call and learned that my 10AM interview was cancelled due to a family emergency. As a result I hung out at Corner Bakery and used their free wifi until I met up with Lauren (my potential roommate) around 2. We met at a cute cafe owned by one of her friends: Noble Tree Cafe. I got a honey plum tea with steamed soy, and it was very good; it didn't need any added sweetener! Even though we are different in some aspects, Lauren and I hit it off right away. (She thought we would because we're both virgos.) After we talked for awhile, we decided to go to Apartment People to look for an apartment together. We were only shown two apartments in out price range: both garden apartments that neither of us wanted to even consider. The bedrooms were so small that you couldn't fit much more than a bed in either room, and they kind of smelled like basements. After our first two showings, we decided it might be beneficial to to have another roommate our two. So then I got in touch with Rachel. Lauren and I parted ways for the night and planned to get together again Wednesday.

She called me around 10:45 Thursday morning to let me know that she had an appointment for us to see a place around 1:30. The place was a money location as it was five minutes or so from my job, but the rooms were terribly different in size. Lauren really liked it, but I did not feel like home to me. We decided to spend the rest of the day walking around the neighborhoods we like(d), searching for "For Rent" signs. I would guess we called 8 or so places but were only able to see one 3 bedroom at 6:30. The apartment was beautiful; the appliances hadn't even been installed yet. Saying that... It was also out of our price range. Lauren had to go, but Rachel and I went to Starbucks to get to know one another. After talking with her I thought the three of us might live really well together. When I went home I went on my good friend Craig's List and searched for 3 bedroom apt listings. I sent an e-mail to both girls and then tried to fall asleep. I had some of my worst nights of sleep these past few nights.

Yesterday morning Lauren and I had an appointment with the Apartment Finders. Mark made me feel optimistic. He didn't think it was practical for the two of us to look for three bedrooms (Rachel had to work til 5), but we started with 6 options. He couldn't get a hold of one; two were leased once we started, and we were not happy with the other ones we saw. At the end of our appointment we decided that we needed to change one of our search criteria: price, location or requirements. As Lauren and I grabbed a late lunch she encouraged me to search out other options. (I don't think she was too into the 3 bedroom idea.) By this time I was getting pretty down, but I was excited to be spending my night working with kids at McCormick Place. I was in the room with the 4-12 year-olds, and it really took everything else off of my mind. On my way over there I returned a call from Rupa. [Rupa signed a lease with three others but has decided to leave Chicago.] I found out about this situation via Craig's List but felt bad calling her back once Lauren and I started searching. Rupa and I set up an appointment for me to see the place today at 12:30.

After work I went over to Anique's to crash for the night. I hadn't seen her since graduation, so it was really nice to catch up. On the way over I learned that my Mom got tickets for the Cubs game on Wednesday night! Anique and I talked until we fell asleep and then slept in until about 10:30 this morning. The two of us grabbed lunch at a place called Orange: with a peel. (I think the name is so cute!) I took a break from the vegan life and did some brunch splitting with Anique: Cinnamon Roll Pancakes (cinnamon-infused pancakes served with maple-pecan paste, served with vanilla glaze and powdered sugar) and Omelet #6 (a three egg omelet sauteed with garlic, forest mushrooms, asparagus, and dry aged jack cheese topped with with toasted almonds, then drizzled with balsamic reduction). I guess I was hungry because I ate my entire half! Anique was impressed. :)

I felt bad because I was running late to see the place, but Rupa and Tessa were incredibly understanding. I walked in the house and had a great feeling! Someone had created little mailboxes to sort the mail; there was a trash can and a recycling can; the kitchen table had fresh flowers on it, etc. It had everything I wanted and more: a dishwasher, a washer and dryer in the unit, close proximity to the Belmont el stop and Southport Corridor, a Whole Foods and gym close by, a back deck, a grassy area in back to lounge in... So while it's a little more than I wanted to spend, I fell in love and didn't want to look any more! <3 class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Evanston with Rupa, who had a writing workshop, and decided to head home and help Monica move back to Iowa tomorrow. It feels nice to be able to sit and not be worried about that stuff for a bit. I'm excited to take Moni to school and even more excited for my graduation party on Sunday! Things seem to be coming together fairly well.

I'm an Assistant Preschool Teacher (I think?!)

2008-08-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

These past couple of days have been pretty crazy for me; my emotions have been up, and then they've shot down. The internet was down too, so this is going to be a long entry:

I had my interview Wednesday afternoon at 12:30PM. Since I like to save money/pollution, I try to take public transportation whenever possible, so my journey began with a 9:35 Metra train to Irving Park. I thought I left with plenty of time to catch the train (8:35). However, when I got to Harvard I could not find a parking spot. There was not a signing telling me that I couldn't, so I parked on the street. Then, as I stood in line to purchase my ticket, I saw a police car driving through the parking lot. I asked them if my parking location was okay, and they informed me that I would get a ticket if I parked there. I asked them if they had any suggestions for parking, and they told me no, but I would get a ticket if I parked there. (Gee... Thanks for the advice/help!) At this time I hadn't purchased my ticket but saw a conductor and asked him how much time I had. He responded that I had 4 mins. When I asked him if I had time to move my car, his response was, "if you're fast." I think I have tears in my eyes at this point because if my interview goes anything like my morning, I am in trouble. So I run to my car and circle the parking lot again: nothing! I happen to see the police officers who then tell me I should be okay parking by the water tower. I pull in there, hop out of my car (as all of the contents of my purse fall in the gravel), pick up my lip gloss, wallet, etc. and run on the train. When I look at my phone, the time reads 9:36. I obviously didn't have time to purchase my ticket inside (It's $2 more on the train.), so I waited to take off.

Well the train didn't depart until 9:44, so I definitely would have had time to buy a ticket. When the conductor came by and tried to charge me the $2 extra. I explained myself, and my luck turned a bit as he gave pity on me. I got some help from the woman behind me. She happened to be a teacher in Lake Geneva. She was very nice, and we talked for a bit. There was a Cubs game at Wrigley that day, so the train was full as well as running very far behind. I knew I was going to get to Irving Park later than expected, and I also figured the buses were going to be full of Cubs fans, so I decided to walk a bit and then take a cab the rest of the way.

I got a rush of excitement when I got off the train and saw a sea of blue, red and white. I became very jealous that I was not going to the game. As I walked I ended up behind a couple of fans (Dave and Chad) who had the same idea of getting a cab to Wrigley. When I told them I had an interview on W. Sheridan they invited me to share the cab with them. I learned that the two of them were celebrating Chad's 25th birthday. Chad didn't say a ton, but I do know that he now lives in Las Vegas and works as a bartender and server with the hopes of finding a bodyshop job. Chad goes to DePaul and is majoring in film (after thinking he was going to be a teacher in two different subjects). I think Dave may have had some drinks before the game, but he still had some nice compliments for me. When he asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend, he insisted that I will find one within three weeks of being in Chicago. (We'll see...) He also felt very confident that I was going to get this job. When I asked the guys if either of them had change, they insisted on paying for the cab. They told me that they were going that way any way; I just better get the job.

When I walked up to the doors of the school around 12:10, Sesame Street was painted on the windows. Now that was a good sign for me because I watched Sesame Street religiously as a child! I only had to wait about 5 minutes until I started the interview. I ended up staying there for two hours and receiving the job! I loved the director, her philosophies, the hours I'd work, the classroom(s), etc. The job was too good to be true!

As I walked to catch the el back to the train station, I realized maybe it was. When they had told me how much I'd be making per hour, I wasn't thrilled, but I also didn't expect a lot. Sadly, it's well-known that teachers are WAY underpaid! But when I got my phone calculator out to figure how much I'd make in a day, a week, a month, a year, I realized that it was even lower than I expected. Yet, I still felt optimistic and happy to report my news to friends and family. Now it was time to start the apartment search! Right before I went to bed I thought I'd go into my super organized mode and make a column of gains and a column of losses in regards to money for each month. After I realized the volume of things I'll be paying for (rent, electric, cable, groceries, gym membership, cta card, loan payments, fun...), I realized that everything that seemed so perfect might be setting me up for severe unhappiness. Yes, I could waitress or bartend on the weekends, but I'm going to be 22 in 20 days, and I want my weekends for myself. I could also potentially cut out on small things like a gym membership and maybe cut down on fun spending, but again... I don't want to do that. I have spend so much of my life working the whole week, and I don't want to do that anymore.

As luck would have it, I received a phone call yesterday afternoon for another teaching assistant position I had applied for. When I spoke with the director, she informed me that my credentials might qualify me to be a head preschool teacher in her school. This news was exciting/scary to me. Could I really have a classroom to myself?! I have an interview set up with her for 10AM on Tuesday. When I spoke with her yesterday, she informed me that classes will be staring in a couple of weeks. While I had set a goal for myself to start the Tuesday after Labor Day, now everything seems to be happening so quickly! I've started questioning if this is really what I want to be doing, or if my "go-getter" personality is getting the best of me. After talking with a few fabulous friends last night, everyone agreed that I should go to this interview on Tuesday and see how it goes. Also, I'm still free to continue searching other jobs because I have not signed any contracts. Needless to say I haven't been sleeping the best lately, and I am incredibly excited to go to yoga at noon followed by a Thai lunch with EmTemp. I just wanted to say thanks to all of my friends who have been so supportive, lent an ear, etc. You're the best!

My First Interview!

2008-08-05T20:18:00.001-07:00

That's right... I have my first interview tomorrow, and I am incredibly excited about it! I don't want to get my hopes up, but I think it's a really good fit for me. After all of my searching through universities and hospitals, I found this posting on Craig's List. I applied last night, to be an assistant teacher, and they called me back this morning to set up an interview for tomorrow afternoon. It is located in Wrigleyville and serves the surrounding areas of Uptown, Lakeview and Lincoln Park (all areas in which I plan to apartment hunt). If I receive the position, I would be working with little ones up to 6 years of age. I feel very much aligned with their philosophies. They believe in a small child/teacher ratio, intro to English and Spanish, healthy snacks, learning through interaction and more. Hopefully I'll have good news tomorrow night. (Please keep your fingers crossed for me!)

In other positive news, I received a position to work at special events for Kiddie Korps! I received a phone call about that yesterday and have an event coming up on Thursday evening Aug 14th. Yesterday was a perfect depiction of my typical day (for those of you who are wondering). I went to the grocery store. My Mom hates going, and I love it! Then, I prepared the night's dinner, which focused on using cucumbers. I made "Cool as a Cucumber Soup," a "Garbs and Carbs" salad w a "Cucumber Raita" yogurt-like dressing. As that chilled/marinated in the fridge, I went to North Pointe for a kickboxing class. After dinner with the fam I conducted some job research and read before bed.

If I haven't said this already, I started cooking a lot since I decided to eat vegan, and I really enjoy it. I made granola this morning before I worked out and met Karen and Em Temp for coffee at Starbucks. I had missed them a lot! Then, tonight I marinated eggplant and zucchini for my Mom to throw on the grill. I finished off the meal with homemade chocolate chip cookie bars. I don't think a meal's complete without a little dessert. :)

Go Cubs Go!

2008-08-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

Yea!! The Cubs just beat the Pirates (8-5) and are now up five games. (I'm jealous because this time my parents are at the game.)

I don't have a lot to report after these past couple of days, but I'd rather write now than wait and have a lot to write about. Yesterday morning I went to a farmers' market in Beloit. It wasn't quite the same as San Francisco, but I got a lot of fresh vegetables and made an awesome stir-fry for dinner last night. I also bought Amish apple butter, dried cantaloupe (very good) and a necklace made by Jinga Jewlery: a line of fair trade jewlery from Uganda. (Check it out at http://www.jinjaproject.com/). I spent some time with my grandparents, worked out and then went back to job searching. I found and applied for a job as an assistant preschool teacher at Loyola's Lake Shore campus. Other than that... No new job updates. Today I've just been cleaning and organizing. It's a good thing to do on a Sunday. Since I lost my camera in Paris, Linds mailed me all of her pictures on cds. I just went through all of them, and I want to go back!

Thanks Mom and Dad!

2008-08-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my parents I have spent the past couple of days completely away from the job search. Therefore, this post is going to be a bit long. The couple of updates I do have regarding jobs are as follows: I have not heard anything back from the resumes I sent out to Childrens and UChicago (which I guess is better than a rejection), and I received a call from KiddieCorp. KiddieCorp is a need based agency that hires people for special events in Chicago. So hopefully I'll e working an event in a couple of weekends.

So onto the fun: On Wednesday my Mom, Monica and I left our house around 2:30 to tailgate the Cubs game @ Miller Park. (My Mom bought me a Fukudome shirt to wear, which was a very nice surprise! Monica represented #25 D Lee.) We loaded the cooler with lots of goodies: fruit salad, vegetables and hummus, beer (of course), chips and some faux egg salad sandwiches :). We didn't actually have the tickets yet; we were supposed to meet up with a "professional scalper" (in the words of my father) named "Big Shaun" around 5. My Mom was incredibly anxious. She kept checking her watch and asking me whether or not she should call him. When I told her to call him, she wouldn't, so I ended up calling him. I got a little nervous when I got his voicemail, which was no longer accepting messages, but he called back a few minutes later. My Mom and Monica went to get the tickets (They were gone for quite awhile.) and returned with three bleacher seats in the third section by the third baseline. He originally told us he would have three in the first or second section, but I guess it didn't work out? It seems to me like that whole scalping thing is an art. With that being said... It's not mine. Tailgating was pretty low key in comparison to what came next. We were surrounded by a ton of drunk, rowdy guys. There were some rude Brewers fans behind us that literally pulled Monica and I down when we stood up to cheer for the Cubs. The same guys were also chewing tobacco. They got it all over a sweatshirt Monica brought to sit on and I kept getting spit on the back of my legs... lovely! At one time I guess the guy was feeling nice, so he told my Mom and Sister that they both had nice behinds. (If you don't know Monica, she has quite the ghetto booty, and guys love it!) When I jokingly gave him a hard time for not complimenting me in any way, he told me that he would be arrested if he said what he wanted to say to me. Okay... CREEPY!! At one point in the game I got a delicious $10.50 bloody mary. (I guess that's a perk of being home and spending time with your parents.) It came with a skewer of olives, cheese, beef jerky and a big pickle in the middle. (I passed off everything but the pickle.) Overall the game wasn't incredibly exciting, but it was a W and we were happy about that. On the way in Big Shaun said he was going to have tickets for Thursday's game. We called him on the way home and decided that the two of us would go with our 13 year-old cousin Joey and Justin (He's my sister's ex-boyfriend, yet still really good friend? It's confusing.).

So after getting home around 12:30AM I woke back up at 8 on Thursday to get ready for the game. It was hard to get out of bed, but it was an AWESOME game!! I saw Edmonds hit a home run, followed by a grand slam his next time up to bat. (The stands were crazy!!) There were also home runs by Soriano, Ramirez and Fukudome; the Brewers 2nd pitcher of the game was kicked out for intentionally trying to hit Edmonds and Fielder got ejected for breaking his bat after his pop fly was caught. Other noteworthy events of the game include me not being able to bring my broom in :( (I was so excited that Monica and I thought to bring them.), more scalping craziness and post-parking lot banter I got in.

It started out with somebody calling us "yuppies" on the way out.
Me: "I believe the term is winners."
radom Brewers fan: You're ugly!
Me: okay?
another random Brewers fan (while running around my car): "I have AIDS. I'm from Boystown."
Me: Wrigley Field's in Wrigleyville. Nice try though."

I was a little offended that the girl called me ugly. Plus, I wish I would have told her that I'd rather be a yuppy that a hillbilly any day! haha

Everyone fell asleep on the drive home. I tried to go to the gym once I got back, but that was pretty much worthless. I felt exhausted. I would have gone to bed as soon as I got home, but I was hungry. I made some food, watched the highlights of the game on the news and was in bed around 10.

I slept until 10:30. Friday (If Monica hadn't woken me up, I may have slept longer!) I got ready to go and Joey from my grandparents' house with Monica. I had promised Joey that we would take him to see a movie this week. He picked The Incredible Hulk last time, so Monica and I picked The Dark Knight. Superhero movies aren't always my thing, but I thought this was phenomenal, especially Heath Ledger. There was one part in the movie where I got teary-eyed just thinking about his death. After the movie I went to the gym quick followed by a visit to my grandmother's house with my Mom and Dad. She recently got out of the hospital yesterday after a double bypass last week. Since there were so many people there, and we were hungry, we didn't stay too long. My parents and I went out to eat at the Irish Rose in downtown Rockford where I ordered pesto sweet corn and a wood grilled portobella mushroom- very tasty! When I got home I watched 21 with Monica, Justin and my Dad.

My First Rejection (in the Job World)

2008-07-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

I was debating between the title I chose and "It's Like Rain on Your Wedding Day." Explanation: I woke up this morning to reread my cover letter and resume and get those sent off, and to my surprise, the position I applied for did not require (or even allow) me to post a cover letter. Oh well I guess. It was good practice?

Then, I was gone a mere couple of hours at the gym. When I returned there was an e-mail in my inbox informing me that they already had a better fit. I can't help but wonder how many rejections I have yet to come, but on the positive side, at least I found out quickly. I got a new resume and cover letter sent out tonight for another research position. This one examines how various environments affect the spatial development of children in the Chicago area. As I wrote my cover letter I got more excited about the position, but that happened last night as well. Now some more job searching befor bed!

3 hours= 1 page= a job?

2008-07-27T15:15:00.001-07:00

Yes, that's correct. I have just spent the past three hours editing my cover letter and resume for ONE job application. Is it supposed to take that long? This job search is more difficult & draining than I thought it would be!! I would guess I have spent about 15 hours sifting through various university and hospital websites, and I have found about 3 jobs that I plan to apply for. Regardless, I've set a goal start date of September 2nd. I know. I know. It's very ambitious, especially thinking that I want to be living in Chicago by then, but I have to set my sights somewhere. Why not set high?

While I spent a good part of yesterday browsing the internet, I did go into Evanston for the weekend and had the opportunity to catch up with some friends. I got in around 7PM on Friday and took Jess out to dinner for a belated 21st dinner. (I was in Europe when the big bash occurred.) We went to Thai Sookdee, which really hit the spot. She knows I like to share, and she was willing to eat vegan for the night, so we went with Pad Thai (-egg +tofu) and yellow curry (+ mixed vegetables) with brown rice. It had been awhile since we had time just the two of us, and I very much enjoyed it. She went downtown with Krauss that night to celebrate someone else's birthday.

I had plans to meet up with Marc, Cristy and Dave but had some time to kill in between so I went to Borders for a new book. I recently received recommendations to read both Life of Pi and The Pillars of the Earth. I went with the second: more bang for my buck. :) Instead of reading too much of that one, I decided to pick up A Complaint Free World, a book I had read about in Shape magazine. Basically the book encourages people to try giving up complaining and gossiping. To do so the author has purple "complaint free" bracelets that are supposed to be worn on one wrist Then, any time you slip, the bracelet is moved to the other wrist. According to him it takes approximately 4-8 months for an individual to make it to 21 days (the amount of time it's supposed to take to break a habit). If you look at the website, the founder (Will Bowen) says, "Your thoughts create your world and your words indicate your thoughts. When you eliminate complaining from your life you will enjoy happier relationships, better health and greater prosperity. The Complaint Free program helps you set a trap for your own negativity and redirect your mind towards a more positive and rewarding life." I'm intrigued and up for the challenge. you?

I was almost done with the first chapter when Marc called, and I went over to 1118 to catch up with him. Then, Cristy and Dave got back from dinner right as Marc and I were talking about how excited we are to babysit baby McGill. I learned all about Dave's new job and the apartment that they found. In addition, I asked about the baby and Cristy A LOT! Of all the things I love about Cristy, her honesty is up there as one of her best qualities (in my opinion). Pregnancy is amazing. Don't get me wrong. I just never heard about all of the difficulties/changes before. [For example, did you know a pregnant woman's feet usually grow an entire size by the end of her pregnancy?] Cristy and I talked the guys to sleep, so we decided to call it a night around 2AM. I went back to 1943 and crashed pretty quickly.

Yesterday morning was spent sleeping in and just being lazy. Once Jess and Krauss went to meet a friend's parents for lunch, I called Cristy and mobilized to get some food myself. Oh how I miss being able to walk to Whole Foods and spend $12 on a salad that lasts me two meals. I was also craving a bubble tea, so I stopped by Sashimi Sashimi and tried red bean with coconut- tasted great on a warm day and an empty stomach. We ate lunch and just chatted at 1943 with the one and only G Lee until Cristy left for Naperville and Gina started packing. I had an invitation to go to the Wicker Park festival earlier but had just returned with lunch and therefore passed on the invite.

With those two gone it was me, a television and Jess's laptop... Job searching it is! I was on the computer/watching television until Krauss got back from the festival and Jess got back from babysitting. (I hadn't spent a lot of time with Krauss before, but I think she's pretty fantastic. :) Sadly the job search wasn't too successful, but I would say I covered a lot of ground. I think I've covered most of the hospitals and universities in the Chicago area. After so much staring my eyes were ready for a pretty early bedtime. I woke up on my own around 8 this morning and met Lauren for tea at Peet's. Lauren and I have very similar interests, so it's always fun for me to bounce ideas off of her. We started out as pre-med "study buddies" freshman year but both decided not to pursue medical school. (Our other buddy was Bri who is in the application process right now- mad kudos to her!) Right now she holds a part-time reserach job at Childrens. If it worked out I would love to have two part-time jobs, but I think it's too good to be true. So hopefully a resume or two out tomorrow, and we'll see what happens...

Back to the Real World

2008-07-23T04:50:00.000-07:00

It's my second morning back in the United States after a three week stint of traveling in Europe. While I slept from 10PM-1PM the night before last, I woke up at 5:15AM this morning after retiring around midnight last night. (I think I might still be a bit jet lagged.) I've gone through some mail and tidied up my room a bit already this morning, and not knowing what to do next, I thought I'd start a blog. If you are wondering why I decided to do so, I will tell you right now. First, I loved e-mailing my friends and family about my experiences while being abroad. Second, I met a guy named Tim on my trip (just a friend) who started a blog awhile ago, and it really intrigued me. He parted from the group in Rome, while I continued to Greece, to backpack on his own in Spain, and it was nice to be able to read about his journey when I got home. Next, I have kept a journal since I was 16. Last, seeing as I just recently graduated from college (Northwestern University), I couldn't think of a better time to start a blog. As you can see from the title of my blog,"What's Next?", I honestly have no idea where my life is going. I hoped being in Europe would lead me to some sort of epiphany, but no such luck. Last night I tried to begin the job search, but I was quickly overwhelmed. It probably does not help that I am not really sure what I want to do. As of right now careers I'm considering include nursing, teaching, psychology, nutrition and alternative medicine. So pretty much my one prerequisite involves working with people. As I searched through some hospital and non-profit job openings I realized that I've never searched for a job in this manner. In the past I've worked at a tanning salon, been a cashier/lifeguard/swim instructor at a local pool, spent a couple of summers as camp counselors, worked nights and weekends as a waitress, had a work-study job as a Customer Service Representative, babysat for a various families and held an internship at CASARC (Child and Adolescent Services Advocacy and Resource Center) in San Francisco. For the most part I heard about those jobs via word of mouth or e-mail. However, it's a different story now. As of right now I do not mind being at home: I do not have any rent or utilities to pay; I am able to spend time with my family, including my 19 year-old sister, and I have a very flexible schedule. However, not many of my friends remain in the area, and I know I will go stir crazy both being at home and not having a job. I guess that's it for now. (I just realized I don't really know how to end these.)